Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: To the Associate Dean, and whomever the matter may concern:

I write this appeal with great shame and a sinking heart. My name is Eun Lee, a third year student of Economics, and for the last 12 months, I have been struggling with a severe, chronic, and intractable depressive episode resulting from Bipolar Disorder. It is the same depression that led me to be hospitalized early May of last year, and it is the same illness that led me to write my last appeal, which makes this circumstance all the more embarrassing. Despite trying numerous medications, alone or in combination, all with side effects of their own, and despite seeing my psychiatrist, Dr. O'Brien, on a regular basis, I continued to deteriorate in all aspects of life, especially in my academics. By the beginning of winter term, I was a shell of what I had once been; anxious, depressed, paranoid, and at times even suicidal, I can say without hyperbole that this past year has been the worst year of my life.//


Twenty-two years old, I should know better. I should have done better. I should have graduated and gone on to new and better things. So go those ramblings of the depressed man in my head. After a horrendous second year, which, by contrast, was due to my cycles of hypomania, and after having alienated myself through that episode from almost anyone who ever cared for me, I began my third year with much anxiety and very low confidence. Nothing gave me pleasure. Days seemed to slip by me. Any little thing would send me into a flight of panic. By December, I was spending more than half my waking hours curled up in bed, whispering to myself words I would never say to another person. I contemplated suicide. A belt for a noose, or a fistful of pills; it seemed like poetic justice. But I could not go through with it.//


This is how I was when I began my winter term. Dr. OBrien prescribed new medications, and I took them. From anticonvulsants to antidepressants to anxiolytics and lithium, I took whatever medical science had to offer. At one point, I was taking four different medications every day. I would seem to get slightly better, but there always came the crash. Old worries would return, and I felt drowned in shame and guilt. Waking up every day was a struggle. By the end of February, I was exhausted and spiritually drained. I was losing hope very fast, and Dr. O'Brien recognized this. Before reading week I began feeling almost as suicidal as I was during the winter break. He proposed some unconventional treatment options, among which were hospitalization, transcranial magnetic stimulation, and electroconvulsive therapy. Though I declined the offer, this evinces just how serious my illness had become.//


It was during this time period that I missed the drop date for my classes. Mired in intrusive thoughts, fatigue, headaches, and general sadness I neglected not only my courses but my obligations and responsibilities as a person, one of which was failing to drop those courses that I knew I would fail. Another was working on those courses I still had a hope of succeeding. I let the depression get the best of me; but no more. Now I am on a different treatment regimen; now I am attempting to reconnect with old friends and socialize with new ones. Now I am enrolled in a four-week group therapy program at Kingston General Hospital, the first week of which I have completed thus far. I feel better. I am no longer just marking time but making active, progressive efforts towards my well-being. I have hope now, that I can eventually get my life back on the right track.//


Part of that effort is this appeal. If I am to move forward in my academic career, I believe that this is my last chance. I am requesting to drop Economics 250, 255 and 360, and requesting Aegrotat standing in Philosophy 257 and 261. I realize that this is not a decision that will be considered lightly, given my past appeal and the gravity of my academic shortcomings in the past two years. But in the same vein of reasoning I am requesting that you reconsider my previous winter semester as well. When I wrote that appeal, I was still deep in a hypomanic, overconfident state; I mistakenly believed I could cram three courses in the short span before my exams.//


Evidently, I was delusional; I did not even come close to passing those courses, and the one course I had confidence in, still resulted in a grade I believe is not representative of my abilities. My doctor will attest to the fact that I was indeed still suffering from a mood episode at the time. I realize that this second request is even more of a wishful thought, as an appeal for that time period has already been considered. However, since the appeal was made in a misguided, still grandiose state of mind, and the issue at hand is the same illness, I believe that this is a matter of process, and that if there are grounds for re-visiting appeals, that this would fit some of that criteria. So I sincerely request to drop Economics 222 and Mathematics 232 of Winter 2014, and to receive Aegrotat standing in Philosophy 256, also of the past winter semester. But I write this as a side note. My main concern at the moment is with the courses I had taken last semester.//


Entering university, I had many tall hopes and aspirations. Now I have but one hope: to graduate with an honors degree. To do that I realize I must spend the next two years as studiously as I possibly can. With the group therapy I am currently taking, the treatment regimen Dr. OBrien has prescribed; help from friends, both old and new; help from Frontenac Mental Health; and some summer courses relevant to my degree, I hope to do just that. When the decision on this appeal has been rendered, I will apply to change my major from Economics to a medial in Economics and Philosophy, which more befits my course history and interests. During the fall semester I will re-take some of the 200-level courses I have failed, and the 300-level courses I am eligible to take. I intend to do the same in the winter semester, and to complete a fifth year with 300-level and 400-level courses. At any time during my studies if my illness resurfaces, I will not withdraw again like I did, with my tail between my legs, or become grandiose, like I was in second year. Now I know when it's coming, and what it can do to me. I will not be complacent. I can no longer be complacent. My illness, this beast within me, will remain with me for the rest of my life. It's about time I began taming it.///