Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Dear Associate Dean’s Office,
I am appealing to waive the petition deadline and late drop 5 courses I took in the Winter of 2021: CLST 201, HIST 105, HIST 242, HIST 246, and HIST 299.
Firstly, I would like to apologize for the lateness of this letter. I would give anything to have written sooner but my circumstances were so debilitating that I wasn’t able to do what was necessary.
I usually don’t tell people this, but my mom suffers from severe mental illness. This is nothing new; I was 10 years old the first time I visited her in a psych-ward and, unfortunately for me, I’ve always had a good memory. In my first year at Queen’s, my mom suffered an episode for which I was granted extenuating circumstances. Sadly, her mental health continued to decline, and our family reached a breaking point during the COVID-19 pandemic. The extreme isolation had exacerbated my mom’s condition, and she began to slip back into hallucination and paranoia. I moved back home to support her in October 2020 and still, I managed to complete a full semester virtually with good grades. Unfortunately, by December, my mom began to refuse her medication and had to be committed to a psych-ward. I can’t fully describe the impact that this had on me. It was the first time she’d been committed since my childhood and seeing her in that state was more than I could bear. It tore open old wounds and inflicted new ones in ways I no longer thought were possible. If there is a hell, it must look a lot like a psych-ward.
Eventually, my mom stabilized, and I returned to Kingston in January 2021, but the damage had been done. I wasn’t lucky enough to have had the same childhood as most Queen’s students and all the experiences that I’d been repressing had suddenly come rushing back. The weeks I’d spent alone with my mom at the age of 10; telling her that there weren’t people in the shadows or voices in the garage, having her shake me awake at 2 am to pack everything I owned because ‘people were coming to kill us’. My abusive father, telling me I should never have been born, abandoning me to an unmedicated parent I suddenly had to take care of. The floodgates had been opened and it seemed like nothing could stop it. Without anyone to relate to, I became extremely isolated. Every night I was plagued with nightmares yet when awake, I could barely leave my bed to eat or brush my teeth. Whenever I tried to focus on school, my mind would wander back to the same traumatizing images and memories. By the time I’d finally snap out of it, I’d realize that I had just spent 5 hours staring at a blank wall. To make matters worse, my mom’s health continued to fluctuate for the next few years. I was caught in a constant state of anxiety which robbed me of all my best qualities: my motivation, organization, and ability to learn. I was haunted by a paralyzing anticipation that any minute, I would have to endure it all over again. Regrettably, this lasted for years.
As a last-ditch effort, I began to seek help at Student Wellness in 2021. After seeing a few different counselors, I became acquainted with Roger Davidson in late 2022 and I’m grateful to say that he made all the difference. Together, we re-examined my behavior, my coping mechanisms, and ways in which I could reclaim the resilience I thought I’d lost. It took a long time, but gradually I began to overcome my anxieties and recover my ability to function. Around the same time in 2023, my mom was prescribed a new medication that finally suited her needs. It has helped her so profoundly, and being there for her progress has been the single most uplifting experience of my life. Seeing her now is like seeing my vague childhood memory of a loving, caring mother resurrected again. Her health and well-being have never been better and with her encouragement, I’ve become truly independent and accepting of the past. I can honestly say that I’ve now reached a peak in my own stability and potential. Through it all, I’ve come out a better person and I’m finally ready to look towards the future again.
History has always been my life’s passion. Throughout my troubled childhood, academics were not only my escape, but the only thing I was truly good at. I don’t know what future I have without them, and I don’t know what future I have with 5 F’s holding me back. I spent years paralyzed by the fear that I’d ruined the only thing I’ve ever dreamed of doing. Now that I’m better than ever, I can wholeheartedly promise that you’ll never be reading another letter from me again. If I could redo the past 3 years, I would without question, but all I can ask is for your help in easing the consequences of that catastrophe.
Thank you for considering my appeal.
Ryan Smythe