Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Hello, I would like to appeal the grade that I have received for my final poster presentation in the GPHY 101 course that my TA has made. This is the feedback that I have received for my poster that the TA has given me, and I will be analyzing the comments and prove why they are incorrect.

The assignment is a powerpoint poster, and I'm unsure of how to send it to you guys. I have never appealed a great before so hopefully you guys will have access to it. All I need you guys to see is my powerpoint and the rubric given for the assignment. I cannot attach my powerpoint in this appeal because it exceeds 5mb. Is there any other way for you guys to access it

Grade Given: 65

TA Comment: Your poster has a great discussion on Tim Horton and its menu. Whereas the poster addressed some aspect of the requirements such as current practices, it was vehemently silent on issues such as advantages of your proposal and feasibility of your proposed measures. In your poster you mentioned ethical concern of Tim Horton¿¿s operation is the fact that consumers aren¿¿t aware the nutritional content of the menu, however, in your proposed solutions you haven¿¿t mentioned how to address this ethical concern. Your poster is heavily dense with text. Your in-text references are not in the appropriate APA format. P.M.A. Reviewed by AG.


I will break up each sentence in my TA's comment for the poster and claim why I disagree with it.

TA: ¿¿it was vehemently silent on issues such as advantages of your proposal and feasibility of your proposed measures.¿

In my poster I do claim advantages of my proposal and feasibility. Here are direct quotations in my poster which show this.

Advantages:

¿¿If the company transitions to this nutritional drink the restaurant will have a huge rise in customers, and from this a huge rise in profit as well, and it will impact Canada globally by preventing health risks in Tim Hortons customers.¿

This is an advantage of my proposal. It will help with business growth, profit, and impact Canada globally and prevent health risks in Tim Hortons Customers with this nutritional drink

¿¿From these alterations the company could expect to decrease health risks immensely, as well as increase the overall satisfaction in loyal Tim Hortons¿¿ customers, and even build a bigger business from these changes all across Canada, overall influencing other institutions to follow in their footsteps.¿

Throughout my poster I further elaborate with evidence that proves why my proposal will solve this, these are all just concluding statements which highlight my advantages. If you guys may argue that I do not support it, I do throughout the poster. These are just direct quotes to highlight my advantages.

Feasibility:

Here are direct quotations that I include which helps prove feasibility:

¿¿Customers love the unhealthy doughnuts, coffee, and sandwiches; these items make the company the most profit. A solution for the company, then, would be to alter the menu in ways without changing these food items. So, in order to help improve the overall ethical concern of unhealthy food consumption, the company could follow similar steps as their rivals to endorse nutrition to their customers.¿

¿¿A solution is for the company to convert this drink to one that it is made from ¿¿100 real fruit¿, and contains actual nutritional benefits on top of this, such as a high dose of protein to go along with it. Tim Hortons could go even further by proving a variety of different healthy smoothies to choose from, such as the Green Tea Smoothie. Green tea is known to provide an immense amount of benefits, such as weight loss and metabolism boost, as well as many other amazing benefits that improve cholesterol and digestion¿

¿¿Similarly, Tim Horton¿¿s could change the way that some of their combo¿¿s work to motivate healthy eating. Tim Hortons currently offers a combo that includes a sandwich, a doughnut, as well as a medium sized drink. As proven before, the combo is quite unhealthy for the consumer. The company should adapt to a healthy alternative for the drink and snack. For dessert, the company could provide a Greek yogurt instead of unhealthy biscuits. The drink should be limited to only the ¿¿healthier¿ options, such as a choice from the newly improved variety of fruit smoothies.¿

The TA argues that I lack emphasis feasibility. However, I think I did a pretty good job at explaining exactly how this will be done, and just how easy it will be. I have 2 main points to prove my thesis statement: Tim Hortons changes one of their smoothies to one similar to Booster Juice¿¿s drinks by adding their own Tim Hortons twist, as well as change their combo from an unhealthy one that they currently offer to a healthier combo just like McDonald¿¿s has done. Both arguments ties back to my thesis statement because my thesis says for Tim Hortons to follow with their rival¿¿s footsteps to create a more nutritional menu for their customers.


My thesis: ¿¿Tim Hortons should should convert to a healthier menu in order to help lower health risks in loyal Tim Hortons customers by adopting some of the techniques that their competitors have successfully implanted to make healthier meal options¿


My idea is to reduce health risks in loyal customers. How will it lower health risks I mentioned the problem that the combo is quite unhealthy that is offered, and Tim Hortons customers buy it because they think it¿¿s healthy. So, by changing up the menu and offering healthy alternatives, this idea will help reduce health risks. Do I need to personally say ¿¿the menu will reduce health risks because¿¿I feel that is redundant. Customers are going to purchase Tim Hortons regardless, which is what I argued. So, if Tim Hortons changers their menu to healthy alternatives instead, this will help reduce health risks. Why Because the customers will purchase items regardless. If the items are healthy, it will be healthy for them. Simple. I don¿¿t think that needs further elaboration.

Customer¿¿s buy Tim Hortons because they are local customers and they will return for the brand ¿¿ menu is unhealthy ¿¿ health risks.

Tim Hortons changes the items a little bit to make a healthier menu - customers buy it regardless because of the brand Tim Hortons ¿¿ health risks reduced in customers.

That is what I proved. I feel that I do not need to be more specific than that.


TA: ¿¿In your poster you mentioned ethical concern of Tim Horton¿¿s operation is the fact that consumers aren¿¿t aware the nutritional content of the menu, however, in your proposed solutions you haven¿¿t¿mentioned how to address this ethical concern.¿


Poster: I must argue that my thesis is not that ¿¿consumers aren¿¿t aware of the nutritional menu¿. My thesis is proving that the menu is unhealthy, which is what I offered with my proposal. I offered an alternative to make the menu healthier. That¿¿s my goal, and that is all. It¿¿s unhealthy currently, and my changes help make it healthier. I do mention this in the introduction paragraph, but it is a point that does not need further explanation. The point I was making that the customers are unaware and therefore will buy these unhealthy combos and drinks. If you change the combos and drinks, the customers would begin to eat healthy. Is it a direct solution to the concern Not exactly. Did it need to be No because this is not my thesis statement. It is a build up in the introduction paragraph to transition into my thesis statement. A thesis statement is the sentence that I will prove in my poster. I'm confused why the TA is penalizing me for this. It should be clear that the thesis statement is the only sentence that I am proving in the poster. We were instructed to make the title of our poster the thesis statement as well, and therefore it is very clear what my thesis statement is, and what I am trying to prove. I also think I have done a pretty decent job at proving how my idea will make the menu healthier. I do not agree that I should be penalized for this claim.

The ethical concern is that the menu is unhealthy, and that customers will be inclined to buy the items regardless because they love the brand of Tim Hortons, not that the customers are unaware of it. To help fix this, I propose that Tim Hortons makes a healthier menu. Customers will buy the food items regardless, so if the menu is deemed healthier, it will be beneficial for customers overall. This is stated directly in my thesis statement, and proven throughout my poster. The claim I made about the customers being unaware is simply a transitional statement to my thesis statement.



TA: ¿¿Your poster is heavily dense with text.¿

Poster: Although the TA is correct with this comment, I feel that I should not be penalized for it. The professor gave us multiple examples of posters from students of previous years for this exact assignment. Every single poster given was heavily dense with text as well. The professor did mention, however, that the poster examples given are good, but not perfect. But, why would I be penalized for having the same amount of writing as most of these examples that we are supposed to use as examples If the only examples given are all dense with text, I'm just confused why I would lose marks for doing the same thing. The examples were given for us to use as a guideline because they are good examples. I feel that I should not be penalized for following their footsteps and writing similar to them. The text in my poster is completely legible as well all throughout. I wrote a lot because the examples given to us all did the same. The important thing is that my poster is legible and the graphics are attractive. I think I have done a pretty decent job with both of these

TA: ¿¿Your in-text references are not in the appropriate APA format.¿

Poster: This comment is incorrect. My APA in text citations are all in fact correct in APA format. I understand why the TA said it is not. It is because I mention in-text citations such as (Tim Hortons 2015) (Booster Juice 2015) (McDonald¿¿s 2015). These are all in APA format though because the point of in-text citations in APA format is to say the author of the citation so that it is easy for the evaluator to check the sources. In my citations list I mention Tim Hortons 2015, for example, as the beginning of one of my sources. By doing this, I am referring to the citation I gave that starts off with ¿¿Tim Hortons¿ in my poster. I used the restaurant¿¿s websites, and their name is simply the name of the restaurant, and it does not have an author. If my citation in my citation list starts with Tim Hortons (2015), I am supposed to use this as my in-text citation as well.

My in-text citations are correct. This is what you are supposed to do for APA in-text citations. Maybe the TA could criticize the citation list for the error if there is one, but not APA format. They are done exactly as they should be. Overall the grade in the rubric says I should really only be penalized for not writing in APA format. The only criticism that could be given, if there is one, is in the citation list itself for the 3 sources of the restaurant websites that I have used.


My biggest upset about the evaluation is that the number seems random. I got a 65 on the poster, and I feel I deserve a better grade because I did what was written on the rubric.

There are 5 categories on the rubric. From all of my years of school and university, it is understood that if you follow the rubric, that¿¿s all that matters. The TA should mark my poster entirely off of the rubric. Hence, that is what a rubric is used for, correct

Hopefully you guys are able to access my rubric as well. It won't let me post it on here, but I will assess the sections on the rubric with the idea that you have access to it.


The first category talks about introduction. For a perfect grade in this section, the introduction should be clear of the structure, my argument, and the issue. I have done so. If not, I would like to see proof as to how I did not accomplish this. I feel that it is a good introduction paragraph for this assignment. Therefore, for this category I deserve a ¿¿Distinction¿ or a ¿¿Satisfactory¿. The TA¿¿s usually mark satisfactory in this course as around a B+, so this category should not be less. The only way that I could get a C (or, the lowest grade for that section) in this part is if my introduction paragraph isn¿¿t clear and doesn¿¿t provide a sense of structure. It does this successfully I feel. If not, I would really like to see where I have went wrong. The structure is very clear, presentation structure is clear, and I clearly state what the company is, and the issue of it.

The second category is research. I should answer 5 questions to get full marks, and I have done so. The TA mentioned that I addressed challenges and practice successfully. That¿¿s 2 that the TA agrees that I have. I also proved my advantages and feasibility in the beginning of this appeal. And I also mentioned how it will benefit Canada as well in those quotations in the beginning of the appeal. That should be 5 questions. I have a lot of research, and I feel a strong understanding of content as well. I think the structure is strong too, the TA did not mention anything wrong with it.


Third is visually appealing. I feel that I deserve a good mark in this category. The overall poster is much more visually appealing than the examples given. It is neat. And most importantly, ¿¿All graphics are attractive (size and colors) and support the argument/content of the presentation.¿, which is what it says on the rubric. I support every argument with perfect pictures. I took the time to photoshop most of my images to support my argument clearly. Take a look at my visual images. I think they are very clever and neat Most examples given have terrible quality images, unappealing white backgrounds to each image, etc. I went above and beyond with Photoshopped and added shadows, removed backgrounds, and created my menu item with the images. It completely supports my argument The colour is nice; it looks like Tim Hortons colours, and I really like how I made the titles look similar to the Tim Hortons logo. Overall, it all ties in well, and I feel it is more visually appealing than many examples given.

Fourth is citation. I was criticized for doing in-text citations wrong.. Maybe the citation list for 3 sources is incorrect (if there is an error at all), but I think that I did it right. Most importantly they are all in APA format. Even if I got the 3 titles wrong in the citations list, which would be the only error that I could have made in my source list, it is still in APA regardless. I am heavily against this claim made by the TA. I do not see how I did APA incorrect any other way. My previous TA looked at my exact reference list that I used and did not mention any error with citations as well.

Fifth is verb tense. My punctuation was satisfactory. There was no mention of incorrect punctuation or verb tense in the TA's comments. Thus, there is no reason to get a poor mark in this category. To get a B+ I need a few errors in punctuation or capitalization. I don¿¿t see where I did wrong there. The TA did not mention this either.


All in all, my poster is not perfect. I know that. But I know for a fact that it deserves a higher grade than a 65. The TA¿¿s comments were unjust in my opinion; I feel that I did a good job proving why the TA did not mark the poster decent enough. It is unfair to me. I really do not feel that the TA even read my entire poster.

If this poster went to a different TA I guarantee I would have gotten a higher grade. My original TA Andrea Choi loved my idea. She felt everything was great in my thesis statement. So, I wrote to please her because she was supposed to be my evaluator for the last project. The professor decided to switch the TA¿¿s for the last assignment after we submitted, so I am writing to a different audience now after I submitted it. I received a 78 on my thesis statement for this exact poster in the previous assignment and the TA mentioned no real negative comments, and I kept the idea identical and most sentences identical. She personally told me that she loves my idea and arguments. How come when I get a new TA I lose 13 I just feel it is very subjective and not all of the TA's mark using the same rubric. If they did, I would not experience a 13 difference from the same assignment. I don¿¿t like the logic in that sense. All TA¿¿s should mark the same. All TA¿¿s should be fair and follow the rubric the same. There should be no subjective preference. If i did a good job with one TA, I should do a good job with the other TA.

I feel something is wrong with this. Every other course I have had fair evaluations. Even if I received poor marks, at least the evaluators tell me where I went wrong based off of the rubic, and I agree with them because they clearly read my entire project. I¿¿m not even the only person that agrees that some of the TA¿¿s in this course are unjust. Not because they are hard markers, but because they do not read the entire assignment that we as students spend hours upon hours on. I had an issue with my previous TA on how she evaluated my last two assignments, and so did a handful of people in the course. Although I am probably the only student that went to appeal, a handful of students are just disappointed with the TA's in the course.


It is mentioned that every TA uses the rubric to mark assignments. If so, how come I received nothing else other than that short comment that the TA gave me I would feel more satisfied if I got something more. Maybe direct comments in my powerpoint telling me what the TA liked and disliked. Or maybe the rubric back with highlights of exactly what mark I got in each category.

I would not spend so much time out of my Christmas break arguing against a mark unless I heavily feel that I do not deserve the mark given.

Thank you very much for your time. I really hope something could be done about this. If you guys feel that after my appeal, the mark should not change, I would really like to know why. I completely disagree with my TA's comments and hopefully I have successfully proven to you guys why it should be changed as well.

The professor in the course was amazing, helpful, and sympathetic. She cares for the students. She helped me a lot over the span of the course as well. I just feel differently about certain TA's.


- Frankie Villella