Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Dear Associate Dean of Studies (or to whom may this concern),

My name is Benjamin Ahn and I am appealing for a credit standing in CHEM 223 (Winter 2016) attempted during my second year of studies in the Concurrent Education and Faculty of Arts and Science.

In the past two years of my undergraduate studies, I found everyday to be challenge. After last year, I have promised to seek professional help to help ease my anxiety and depression. To this day, I have received some medical attention, but not as much as I required. I continually suffer from clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. These obstacles prevented and deterred my overall performance. Going into second year, winter semester I was still continue to feel down and un-energetic with every-day tasks. My long struggle with clinical depression has lead to worse outcomes, but has seen a slight improvement from my first year course-work and fall of second year. I would rate my work ethics in high school to be extremely organized and prepared. I found it hard to continually leave bed and frequently have the difficulty of going to lectures after mid-semester. I have missed several lectures due to this continual feeling of fatigue and worthlessness. However, my situation has gotten slightly better after fall semester exams, until I hit another clinical relapse of my major depression disorder before the spring examination season. In fact, I started to notice my emotional wellbeing started to take a toll, then my physical health started to be affected again. Already at 4 courses, I contemplated on dropping STAT 263 or another course that can be deferred in later years. I kept continuing with my course of study instead of dropping and going down to three courses in fear that my OSAP would be affected (even though I¿¿m not sure if would), the anxiety and thought of financial disruption when my current family finances are not properly in order had me feel an extensive realm of anxiety. I still constantly noticed that everyday was a chore and a struggle. Getting through lectures and tutorials were extremely difficult ¿¿ where it became a chore and not an enjoyment for the course content. I found that living (doing normal daily routines) was difficult and was ultimately discouraged to do anything, but to lie in bed morning to night. Two weeks before my STAT 263 exam, I noticed I was extremely tired and emotionless which left me in bed or times of frustration. Couple of days before the exam, I was so overwhelmed that I did not write the STAT 263 exam and chose to defer the exam until the summer because my mental state was not in the right position to be writing a 60 exam. This then continued my downward spiral into examination season, and since CHEM 223 was shortly after, this affected the rest of my exams (CHEM 223). Since there was a buffer gap between CHEM 223 and CHEM 222 examination, this allowed me to recuperate and regroup my thoughts to properly be in a state to study and perform mediocrely on the exam for CHEM 222 (but still not in the proper state of mind).

This semester, I spent much of my time at student wellness services and Toronto, which left extremely valuable time that I had, to waste. Repeating my past thoughts of withdrawing from my studies from Queen¿¿s, I noticed my continued impulsivity and reaction to escape this dark hole I was digging myself in. I had no idea why I continued to feel the same way I felt last year, but if there¿¿s one thing to be said; I noticed some improvement, yet a lot of emotional and psychological mobility that has contributed to my academic hardship, this year.

Every time I would attempt to study and complete coursework, I would be worrying about after the fact and the overall anxiety would eventually consume me, leading to a poor attempt or even no attempt on my course materials. I was crying and seeking help, desperately trying to escape this black hole that I was thrown into. I really truly believe in mistakes, but I contest that I would have done better if my mind and body were in a healthier state. Unfortunately, clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorders is both a difficult obstacle to overcome and manage, especially when they are combined together ¿¿ the effects are amplified and daily routines become extremely difficult. On top of everyday routines, academic work ethics were strongly affected and deterred my overall performance. To me, this is an extremely extenuating circumstance that I had absolutely no control over. Even with medication and continued therapy, I still see a boulder to jump over every single day.

Although my other grades compared to CHEM 223 are significantly higher, my ongoing health issue still played a persistent role. The syllabi for CHEM 222 and ANAT 270 both majority included online components however, CHEM 222 had a final examination. To be fair, I do believe I did not perform to my optimum on my CHEM 222 exam as well, but it was notably demonstrated on my CHEM 223 final exam due to my relapse after STAT 263. I had high grades throughout the semester, notably on my laboratory grades which play a role in the course breakdown, which really demonstrated my poor performance on the final exam. This was due to the relapse that occurred before my STAT 263 exam that caused a downward spiral and series of panic attacks.

For the future, I do not want to continue feeling like this during my studies. What I can say, is that, I sought professional help from a psychiatric physician referred from my family doctor. I will also attempt to take a lesser course load if necessary to focus more on my personal needs. On advice of a family physician in Toronto, I will also be transferring institutions to be closer to home, to better obtain the medical care that I require.