Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Dear Associate Dean,

My name is Yiwen Tao. I am appealing to drop PHYS250 and PHYS212, and am appealing to get Aegrotat standing for Math110 and PHYS216. I appeal to drop these courses partly because I have decided to change major, but mostly because I failed to complete these courses because of family issues and mental illness.

To start with, I am an international student from China. I had been living in China for 18 years before I came to Canada in the year of 2014 to start my education here at Queen's. I was faced with many difficulties as someone who first came to Canada by herself; there were the language barrier, the weather, different culture background, different social norms, suffering from perfectionism, etc. Gradually I became depressed. I tried counselling at that time but it didn't help. For someone who come from a different culture background and I speak a different language, it was very difficult to do counselling. Somehow I just managed to go through first year and kept myself alive.

It didn't get any better when it came to second year. There was more school pressure in second year than before. I felt drowning, so I went back to counselling. This time I even met with a doctor who suggested that I should be on medication to fight against depression, but I refused to. I thought I was able to control the drowning and just manage to hold on to everything. The turning point was when my father told me both of my grandparents had operations this January, and that my grandfather was very ill. I broke down after I heard the news. I think I need to mention that I was raised by my grandparents. My parents got separated shortly after my birth. My mother left. I only know her from pictures. My dad pays everything for me but I don't usually get to see him since he lives in a different city with his new family. It was my grandparents who raised me. And when I heard they were ill, I was crushed. I stopped functioning. That happened before reading week. I went back to China for five days during reading week and visited my grandparents, but watching them suffering from illness only made me feel worse.

After I came back to school, I couldn't concentrate on school work anymore. I managed to write midterm exams and then began to locked myself in my room and spent all my energy crying. I started to question myself being here in Canada, question life, and question everything that happened. Why can't I be with my families when they need me Why do I have to go all the way here to Canada for collage Does all this worth it And what have I actually learned After a week or two, I decided to quit, so I went to see Vicky Andrews, the Con-Ed academic advisor. I told her about what happened and I told her that I wanted to drop out of school. She was very nice. She recommended that I see Sarah, the education counsellor, and I did. After meeting with Sarah for several times I realized that I still wanted to continue my education here at Queen's. However, I decided that I couldn't continue with physics anymore.

One more thing to mention is perfectionism. The fact that both of my parents were absent from my childhood made me believe there was something bad about me that make people hate me. I thought I should be perfect, so that I might be able to have someone to like me, so that I didn't have to be all alone. I didn't realize how bad my condition was until last term. Almost every time when I receive a mark (even 80s and 90s) for an assignment, a lab report, or a quiz, I won't stop crying for hours, and I would curse myself for not achieving 100 percent. The crying and cursing lasted for several months. Actually they have lasted much longer than just several months, and this negativity has affected me much deeper than I used to believe. I have tried to fight it. I have met with people in the writing center. I have asked for extensions for assignment. I have emailed the TAs and professors for questions. I have tried tutoring. I have seen counsellors. I did care about school. It was just too much at that time.

Thank you very much for reading this. I realize I have problems and situations going on in my life. I am trying as hard as I can to fix what I am able to deal with. I am very sorry to cause anyone any trouble.

All the best,
Yiwen Tao