Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Associate Dean (Studies),

I am appealing to drop my courses of Winter 2016 late. This includes Math 126, Econ 212, Econ 250, and Econ 222.

If you look at my record I am sure you will see I already filed an academic appeal to drop courses due to mental health problems. Back then I thought telling people would be the magic cure I needed to get over my issues and move on, but it was not that easy. Having a support group has been very helpful, but after a while it just started to feel like I was whining to them and needed to suck it up and deal with it. I knew what was wrong with me, I am depressed with anxiety, and I foolishly thought I could handle it myself. I read everything I could online and tried to bother as few people as possible. I took baby steps to getting back on track and limited my school work first semester so I could focus on small things like getting out of bed and interacting with someone everyday. I got more involved on campus and attended speaker nights run by the Mental Health Awareness Committee. As the year went on though it started to be more difficult. I am in fourth year and started to hear all my friends talking about what graduate schools or law schools they were going on to attend next fall, and their excitement about graduation. Now my little accomplishments I was so proud of myself for, like falling asleep easily instead of staying up being anxious for hours, seemed pathetic in comparison. I kept trying to handle it myself, but reading tips about not comparing yourself to others and individual journeys provided no relief. Going into the second semester I started not sleeping again, or falling asleep and waking up every few hours in a panic. I dreaded when the sun started to set and I had to think about getting into bed because then I was alone with my thoughts. I tried all the tips I knew about how to manage this such as not watching shows in my bed and turning off electronics an hour before bed. I bought books and an adult coloring book to fill an hour or so before I would go to sleep. This turned into me staying up to finish an entire book, or coloring until the early morning to avoid laying there doing nothing. I started down a path that I was very familiar with from the last few years and got stuck in a rut which I could not pull myself out of. I felt, and still feel sometimes, stupid and useless. There seemed to be no options for me. By the time I finally accepted I could not manage things and I needed help, it was too late in the semester to salvage my grades.

I know second chances are rare, and third chances even more so, but I think I deserve it and can really seize this opportunity if given to me. First semester I finally got to a place where I thought I was smart enough to be at Queen's and was actually a worthwhile person to have around. I know now what I am capable of, and the warning signs of falling into a dark place again. I know now that I need to ask for help, and that avoiding my problems just builds up bigger, worse problems for me in the future. I realized how important a support system is and that I should never be too embarrassed to ask for help because my friends, family and the Queen's staff truly want what is best for me. Every person I spoke to for help in the recent months has asked me is Queen's even for me They all questioned if my mental health problems might be because I am doing poorly in my chosen degree. I have put a lot of thought into these questions and talked about it in depth with people close to me. At the end of the day I truly believe I am meant to be back at Queen's, and that I can succeed in economic courses. The key to my success will be to get to bed and have the desire to get back out and attend classes. I need to stop avoiding things because I believe they are too hard before I even attempt them and seek out assistance from professors. I think what is best for me is to pursue a General degree, which is an option I had not heard of until my most recent academic advisor appointment. If I am allowed to return to Queen's and realize after the first semester that I am still not succeeding my plan is to take time off from school then and really reevaluate my options. Taking a year off now and staying at home I think would only hinder the progress I have made.

When I finally went in to see a counselor and academic advisor things started to seem brighter. They helped me talk through options I did not realize I had, so going into next year I would continue to utilize these resources. I also found a counselor at home so I can continue working through my harmful habits over the summer and continue progressing. I believe Queen's is the place I can keep up this progress and finally move forward in my life.

Thank you,
Madeline Perrault
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