Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: November 7, 2017

To: Dr. Atkinson, Associate Dean (Studies)

I would like to appeal to drop GPHY 325 (Fall 2017). I would like to drop this course because I find myself overwhelmed and struggling to sustain good work in this class. GPHY 325 is not required for my degree plan and I would like to devote my available energy and focus to my 3 core classes this semester.

In my time here at Queen's, I have it found especially challenging to do well in fall semester with a full course load. The reason why the fall is particularly difficult for me is because in October/November of 2012, my father died from a rare and aggressive cancer. My father (a Queen's Music/teaching graduate) was a devoted teacher, husband and father. I loved him very much, and his passing tore apart my world. Ever since then, it has been a difficult and exhausting struggle to piece this world back together. This involves learning how to grieve in a healthy way, while moving forward in my academic and personal life. Though I am becoming better at finding this balance, I still find that I struggle around the anniversary of his death. I apologize in advance, as I am not very good at articulating in words how my father's death affects me, but I will try my best.

Since 2012, I have suffered from anxiety, depression, lack of focus, lack of energy, anger and all the other normal repercussions of losing a parent. My grief counsellor explained that this, in a way, is a form of PTSD. My father's death was such a traumatic event, that the fallout will persist for a very long time and I have found this to be true. My PTSD (for lack of a better word) is most powerful in the fall, and is only amplified by seasonally declining sunlight and increased workload at school. My dad was diagnosed with cancer in the fall, declared terminal on Halloween (Oct 31) and died not long after on November 16th. My birthday is on November 24th. Because of this, I find that from late September to the end of exams, I am more heavily affected by the trauma associated with that time. Speaking specifically to my performance as a student, this grief response makes school much more difficult. I have significant difficulty focusing both in and out of class. I also find that I need to organize my time and employ creative stress reduction strategies so that I can meet deadlines and produce good work, but also maintain my mental health. Sometimes, despite my best efforts, I become overwhelmed and must make a correction to remain on course. This is one of those times. I currently find myself overwhelmed and heavily distracted by my grief response.

Because of my circumstances, since first year, I have chosen to reduce my workload in the fall semester to typically 3 courses. This has allowed me to remain in good academic standing (3.43 GPA), live a well rounded student life and keep my mental health in check. This year, I thought I could handle GPHY 325 as a fourth (non- core) course. In retrospect, this was a serious miscalculation and I am frustrated with myself that I did not realize this sooner. I decided to drop GPHY 325 this late in the term because it was not until my courses intensified in late October, coinciding with my grief response, that I found myself totally overwhelmed and unable to stay on track. I attempted to drop the course on SOLUS near midnight on November 3rd, but my request was rejected. Soon after, I discovered I had missed the deadline by less than an hour.

After my father's death, I was forced to accept that some things are simply beyond my control. How my grief progresses and how much I can handle is not something I can control. If this means I take 3 classes a semester, delaying my graduation, I can accept that. I would rather be healthy and happy in my time here at Queen's, than overwhelmed and struggling. This is an important part of learning to live with grief and something I am still trying to master. Going forward, I will continue to monitor my course load, but will restrict my fall semester to 3 courses. I regularly meet with a grief counsellor and my family doctor to discuss my grief and how I can learn to live with it, and this will continue to be important. The trauma of losing my dad will continue to impact my life, but my time at Queen's has helped me slowly move forward with my life, and taught me that I must take my mental health as seriously as I take my studies.

Thank you for taking to the time to let me explain my situation, I hope you understand.

Sincerely,

Conor Spencer