Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: To the Assistant Dean and Whomever this May Concern,
First, I would like to thank you for your considerations. I would also like to state that academics can be a fascinating and exhilarating challenge. It can be a catalyst to both personal growth and the unprecedented growth of one¿¿s knowledge of the world in all it¿¿s beauty. Something that I¿¿ve learned in recent years is that it is a privilege, a gift, to be able to devote most of your time and energy to the practice of expanding your knowledge and the knowledge of those around you. This is part of what makes being apart of a community such as this so special and so interesting, but one cannot take the opportunity to take part likely. While it is a special privilege it is a privilege none the less; as it is not necessarily a right it is not guaranteed and can be lost or taken away. This alludes to the reason I am writing this letter of appeal. AS this letter shall hopefully demonstrate, due to circumstances that, beyond my control, had completely deteriorated my ability to engage academically period, I am writing this letter of appeal. Throughout my experience with this institution I had learned a great deal, about the world and myself. More than anything I found myself entranced by the prospect of not only building my own knowledge base, but potentially the knowledge base of those around me as well. This was an opportunity I had searched for as through my first two years of college I had found what I had a passion for, academics and the ceaseless, tireless and exciting quest to expand one¿¿s knowledge and the knowledge of his peers. I found this reverberate through my early university career; I would often turn down initiations to social events to study or to read, for weeks all I would do was maintain my physical health and study (and I embraced every second of it). As often the case, however, social stresses started to amass. Feelings of self-doubt, frustration with an increasing inability to focus, and a tumultuous familial situation I unfortunately dabbled in smoking marijuana two times a week to try and relax. Though this may have been reason for a slippage in one¿¿s grade this was not the case for me. My grades stayed strong and above all what I learned was that I had more than an interest in academics, I had a passion for it. Unlike a lot of my peers at the time school wasn¿¿t a mountain I had to climb but a mountain I got to climb, and every step became that much greater, an end towards itself. During my third year a few things changed.
Despite a family tragedy I started the year off with the same vigour and excitement. I was ready and excited to learn, write and begin to really consider pursuing academics past the undergraduate level. Up to this point there was no question that I had interest in the my field of study (political science and history), that I had the discipline and the acumen to pursue this interest (I enjoyed studying and reading and my grades reflected this during my first two years), that I was focused on pursuing something more in relation to my academic interests (I started volunteering with a local historical archive for archeological finds in Kingston) , and that I had a growing passion for my academic studies. Despite minor slippage in my academics I still tried to rise against adversity, use it has fuel for me to go ahead despite the issues and the barriers. I was successful in making it to my fourth with a solid enough grade overall to graduate with a general political science BA, whilst still having a shot at pursuing my goal of graduating with a History Hons. B.A. in to pursue my passion for the subject post undergrad. Now at this point the issues of the last two year hadn¿¿t gone away; I had merely masked them, I hadn¿¿t properly dealt with them. This catalyzed a debilitating restriction of agency, the multiple psychotic breakdowns, I alluded to earlier in my appeal letter. I do not know exactly when or how it arose, but one night, with the stress again reaching a fever pitch, I had a psychotic breakdown, and everything became consumed by a blackhole of deafening voices, taunts, ridicules, and hatred that I thought was coming from outside, outside my window. I gave up marijuana, (evidently by my medical records I did not abuse it and only used two times a week at a personal maximum) in a desperate attempt to prevent what may be happening and I even obtained alcohol; completely. But nothing worked. My state of mind became unstable, undone, and everything and everyone around me seemed to apart of the dense hole that I couldn¿¿t escape. Starting approximately October of my fourth year I started hearing people, what I thought to be students, outside my window mocking me, jeering at me. This was not simply internalized bullying but was mentally and personality altering hell. That continued without rest, without stop, 24 hours a day, 7 days, a week. For months. What I learned during that time was whilst you can run from your issues block the outside world, the deterioration of your mental well being, and your very sanity is something that you can never run from, only deal with. Trying to study was laughable. Whenever I tried to ignore it the noise and the voices became overpowering, deafening; after awhile I heard nothing else. After awhile I exhibited signs of depression. I couldn¿¿t get out of bed, I lost the desire to eat, talk to anyone (even my closest friends and family), or even leave my house. This was all exacerbated by the never-ending voices (I lived very close to main campus at the time), constantly mocking, taunting, and attacking me and never ceasing. I tried to fix the situation myself, I thought it was nothing more than mild depression catalyzed by highly destructive and negative social interaction. Nothing came of this, it became worse. At this juncture whatever I was dealing with became more than just debilitating; it wasn¿¿t merely threatening my grades anymore; it had already begun to destroy them and my psyche in the process. Looking back now the problem of me not being to properly participate in my academic venture was far from the biggest issue I was facing. Since this was what I had been striving for, what I had a passion for, and what I enjoyed and did well, however, I could not see past it and kept trying to put the never-ending hell of the voices and noise, the depression, the stress, and my increasingly fraught mind out of the way to focus and perform academically. This ended in absolute failure and the first semester of my fourth year ended with me not being able to do much at all; what had happened, which I couldn¿¿t correctly identify, had left me a shell of who I was, and was beyond debilitating. It was destructive, in the grandest sense of the word.
Despite all this I am not writing this appeal letter for the appeal of my academic record during the first semester of my fourth year. I¿¿m not sure exactly when I sought out psychological and medical help, or if it was me who sought it; my memory and recollection of that period from October to the end of that academic year is shot, episodic, filled with blanks, and very overall very messy to so the least. As I am not sure, however, I did not think it would be fair for me to appeal that semester if there was a chance that; I did not seek help, I took responsibility for academic performance, I told no one of my condition, or if I was able to participate in any capacity in school or elsewhere. What I would like to appeal would be the record of my final semester in my fourth year. I am doing this because at this point I am sure that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I had at this point sought help and was still dealing with circumstances that, beyond my control, had completely deteriorated my ability to participate academically. Whilst the date and the exact time of the incident escapes me I have a clear memory, and the medical records to support, the fact that I had, at this point, sought phycological help from LaSalle. Either by myself or with two of my closest friends I had gone to Lasalle and requested assistance. At this point my mental state was shattered, I was in no condition to continue academic studies and I could not, for the life of me, focus and study. The depression had gotten worse, my mental state was increasingly undone, and the taunting and ridicule of the voices of the students had gotten to the where it was all I could think of, it had subsumed me complete. Because it is not relevant I will spare you the detail regarding this aspect of my situation, but it became increasingly worse, turning into a kind of hell. At this point I knew I couldn¿¿t proceed as normal. There was an event that transpired that served to wake me up, at least to the severity of the situation at hand. Its debilitating nature became increasingly apparent to me, I knew that continuing my academic pursuits was not only impossible at the time, but detrimental to my increasingly unraveling mental health. At the time I did not know a temporary academic leave of absence was possible, so I simply applied to suspend my examinations and my term. I mistakenly thought that this would result in the suspension of that semester indefinitely but instead it held my grades in a NG (not graded) status until a certain time. At that point they would become automatic failures. With my condition worsening I could not simply deal with this and so I set a goal; to remedy this as soon as I dealt with what I eventually realized was the unfortunate development of schizophrenia. I truly wish nobody needs to experience this but anyone who has can tell you profound effect it can have on your day to day life, your sanity. What occurred to me was swift and severe, which greatly impaired my ability to deal with it; I honestly did not know what had hit me. To the matter at hand however, as I have taken great pains over the last 2 years to get better I have fulfilled my promise to myself and am attempting to remedy my academic situation and complete my Hons. History degree as a first step in my goal towards earning a MA in history and getting closer to my career goals (curation) whilst continuing to do what I have a passion for; learning and sharing the knowledge with my peers and professors. I thank you for considering this. I know that these situations are never easy, not for the student sharing a difficult situation or to academic authority that needs to exam whether it merits an academic exception. To this end I thank you but also implore you to consider that through these two years I have taken the time to think long and hard about whether this would be the path I would want to follow and whether I would be able to move forward if another tragedy struck. My answer was undoubtedly yes, so I hope this institution shall allow me to move forward and complete the work that started out very promisingly, was struck by debilitating problems, but still seems to have a chance to finish exceptionally. Thank you.

Regards,
Daniel Dixon