Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Dear Associate Dean (Studies),

I am writing this letter to appeal the Faculty's decision that I must withdraw from my studies at Queen's University for a minimum of three years.

To say the least, my time at Queen's has not been easy. From moving away from home, to familial problems, to sicknesses and deaths; I have encountered all of these and more during my studies. Moving from BC to Ontario was one of the most difficult changes that I could have gone through when first starting at a post-secondary institution. I had never lived on my own before, I had never been away from my family and friends, and I was moving to an unfamiliar place where I knew no one. Partly why I chose Queen's was because of it's prestigious reputation, beautiful campus, and elaborate facilities and partly because I wanted to distance myself from home and focus solely on my studies. My first year was challenging enough adjusting to all the changes that came with moving out and starting university, but the years that followed did not become any easier. My parents have had an abusive relationship - my father is an alcoholic and when things get stressful for him, or if he has too much to drink he takes it out on my mother, my siblings, or me. One phone call in second year changed everything. My father was drinking more than ever before, and the abuse towards my mother was becoming more frequent. Things between my parents took a turn for the worst one night, and my mother and youngest brother were forced to leave our home. My siblings did not want any part in this dispute and I did not want to watch my family fall apart, so before long, I became the main form of communication between my mom and my dad. My life became consumed by phone calls and arguments; I didn't want to get up in the mornings, I didn't want to go to class, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to see any of my friends. I felt as though I had no one I could turn to and talk about my problems with. I had trouble sleeping and it was a battle to motivate myself to go to class and work on my assignments. Friends around me had started to notice something was wrong, and I eventually told them what was going on. After I did this, I started going into HCDS regularly for counselling appointments, I started journaling to note down all my feelings and get all my frustrations out onto paper, all of these steps I took, with the help of my friends really seemed to make a difference, and I had decided that I would spend that summer in Kingston to give myself a break from home and have some self-care time.

It had only been a couple weeks into the summer and another phone call filled with bad news had made its way to me. Over the phone I was informed that my mother had cancer and was to undergo a major surgery, and not only this, but she and my brother were moving back in with my dad. This was surprising news to me as I was never informed that she was diagnosed with cancer, and hearing all this news at once came as quite a shock. My summer in Kingston was cut short as I flew home right after being given this news. That summer was one of the worst summers of mine that I can remember; multiple blood clots had formed in my mother's lungs post-surgery and she was put on bed rest for three months, my father was still drinking, and my mom was not physically or emotionally fit to be left alone, I was being very cautious in the house, trying to make sure I did not do anything to upset my father; I realized that I was living in my own home in fear. I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights, and I could not wait to get out of the house and return to Kingston for school. I had thought that having gone through almost a year of fighting between my parents that this year would be different and I would really be able to focus on myself, but not soon after school had started, so had the disputes between my parents. It was becoming all too familiar as I had once again become the middle man for my parents. I could feel myself slipping once again. I contacted HCDS and regularly went in for counselling appointments again, I tried to stop answering phone calls and focus on myself and my studies, but I could not leave my family to fall apart. This carried on throughout the entire year, by the end of it I was physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. That summer, I decided for the sake of my family that I would go home and try to make sure things could work out between us. My father was really starting to try and cut down on his alcohol consumption and my mom was becoming healthier, it was starting to feel like everything was falling back into place and maybe I could finally just focus on myself.

Fourth year had started off well, my parents were getting along, and I felt as though I had a fresh start. Classes were going well, I was enjoying my program, and I felt like I could really change the track I was on. Then, in November my mother called me and told me that my grandfather had passed away. I was devastated when I heard the news; he lived with my family part time, and part time with my uncle's family so we were very close. I flew home for the funeral and spent a couple extra days there trying to recuperate and process what had just happened. My best friend was gone, and I didn't get to properly say goodbye to him. The closure that I needed, I felt as though I didn't get, and it was all I could think about when I came back to school. All I wanted to do was go home for Winter break, which resulted in my slacking towards the end of the semester and the exam period. I spent the break at home and did a lot of self-care activities to try to get over the death of my grandfather, and returned back to Kingston in January to complete the remainder of the school year. This semester I had told myself was going to be different, I only had classes that I knew I would enjoy, I had no distractions, and I was going to spend this time with all my friends that would soon be graduating. Sadly, the semester did not go as planned. At the end of reading week, my dad had suffered from a brain hemorrhage and the doctors did not know the cause, if he was going to need surgery, or if he would make it. My father and I may not have had the best relationship, but after hearing this, I dropped everything and flew home as soon as possible. I had booked my return ticket for a week afterwards, in hopes that everything would be alright. Missing a week of classes during the middle of the semester resulted in a lot of catching up to do once I had returned to Kingston. While I was away, I had informed my professors of the circumstances, and I had received notes from classmates and friends for lectures I had missed, but while at home I was not in the right state of mind to do school work. After coming back to school and knowing that my father was still not well back at home definitely took its toll on me the rest of the semester and into exams. During this time I found it difficult to concentrate, I constantly called my mom to get updates on my dad's health, I found myself going through all the possible scenarios that could have happened and what I would have done if they did, I was losing focus and I just wanted to be at home with my family while we dealt with this.

After spending some much needed summer time in Kingston, I returned home and then came back in September to complete my fifth year of schooling. In the past four years, I have cut down on my course load, switched from an Honours program to a general program, focused on my self-care routines and gone to HCDS regularly to see and talk to a counsellor. All of these changes have helped me push through and get to where I am today in life and in my studies. However, this past year was a difficult one in its own; a vast majority of my friends that I could rely on as a shoulder or someone to talk to when I was feeling down had graduated and moved on from Queen's; I did not think that this would be a problem as I would still talk to them, but I was indeed wrong. Not having my friends around this year made for a lonely and difficult 8 months of schooling, I found myself falling into a rut, one where I would go to classes and club meetings, but I did not go out and enjoy myself or take care of myself the way I should have been doing. I felt as though I was becoming depressed and the longer school went on, the more I wanted to move back home and be in a familiar setting with familiar faces, and the more difficult I found it to go and motivate myself to focus.

This year, I managed to complete the requirements of my BSc-Chemistry (general) degree, with the exception of one exam I am to write in September 2018 as it was deferred. After writing this exam my only requirement to fulfill in order to graduate will be to raise my cumulative GPA to a 1.6 or higher.

The events that have occurred during my time in post-secondary school have definitely taken their toll on my health, wellness, and mental ability; but they have also made me grow in aspects that I would not have if they did not happen. I have thought long and hard about all the events that have come together to put me in the place I am in today, and I have made a few decisions. First and foremost, I have made the decision to move back to BC and be with my family as this is where I know I can get help when I need it and I will have my most important support system by my side again. Secondly, if I am granted my request, in order to raise my GPA to the 1.6, I will enrol in online courses through Queen's and take only those which I know will be of my level and interests. Also, I will continue to write in my journal in order to get all of my feelings onto paper, and will continue to regularly see a counsellor in a private practice to talk about the challenges I face instead of keeping them to myself. Moving back home will also mean that I will no longer be the middle man in a conversation with my parents as I will be able to say to them that they can talk to each other face to face as it is not healthy for them, or myself and my well-being; I can be their daughter and I can talk to them, but I am not their mediator. I have also decided to not take courses this summer in order to give myself the break that my body and my mind so desperately need after a very emotionally and mentally stressful five years. While I have not had the most relaxing or stable time at Queen's thus far, I have enjoyed my time here, and have enjoyed being a part of a school full of spirit and a place that has so many resources to offer students academically and mentally. I believe that with these changes, and with the ongoing support of my friends, family, and Queen's community, I can achieve what I am setting out to accomplish this upcoming year and attend convocation in Spring 2019.

Kind Regards,
Jessica Deol
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