Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: March 21, 2019

Attention: Dr. Jill Atkinson, Associate Dean, Arts/Science

Dear Dr. Atkinson,

My name is Samantha Nicastro, 20109925, I am a first year Art/Sci student and I am submitting this appeal for your review and hopeful of your approval to drop my computer science (CISC 101) without being penalized academically. I would like to apologize to you for not dropping this course by the deadline of March 1st, but I realize now I was in denial that I could grasp what was being taught and I thought making the extra efforts would help me overcome what I could not grasp, as I do not believe in giving up. Also, the marks for assignments and quizzes I completed before the deadline were not returned until after March 1st. I thought my hard work and efforts were paying off as I believed I was doing well and thought I could continue until I received the marks back indicating that I was failing. I would like you to know I made every effort to ensure I succeeded, and I found myself struggling more than ever. I am not someone who gives up easily. I try my best in everything I do, and I will put in all the necessary time, effort and dedication it takes for me to be successful. I did not want to accept failure, so I reached out to my older brother, Matthew, who is a fourth-year computer science major at Queens to help tutor me. I travelled from residence to his home every week and no matter how patiently he tried to help me nothing was working, and it was not registering that I finally felt defeated a couple of weeks ago when I finally broke down and my anxiety/panic attacks took control of me. Looking back in hindsight, not grasping this course has made me feel more anxious and overwhelmed; and it has really put a strain on my mental health along with my physical well-being. I have struggled with anxiety for most of my life, and it has been something I continue to struggle with. I have always felt I was not good enough or intelligent enough to get accepted to my dream school Queens, however, with support and hard work I realized I could overcome/control my insecurities and I persevered working hard and committing myself to being good enough to being accepted to Queens and I continue to work hard each and every day to ensure I deserve my place here. My inability to grasp what was being taught in my computer science class really made it difficult for me because my insecurities of failing and not being good enough lowered my motivation and dedication; to the point I put too much pressure on myself, driving myself crazy, not eating or sleeping properly, worrying, feeling unfocused and crying myself to sleep because I felt I let myself and my family down. This course has put an immense strain on my life, draining all the happiness I used to feel out of me. The thought of my inability to grasp what was being taught, not doing well in class or on my assignments and quizzes just heightened my anxiety on a daily basis for the past few weeks. I want to reassure you that I give my all in everything that I do to ensure I do not fail but I now accept I could not grasp this course no matter what I tried to do and I have realized the negative impact this course has had on me, I finally can say I was not being fair to myself. I reached the point where I did not want to go to class, I isolated myself from friends, I was not eating or sleeping properly because I felt like I was drowning and I was so afraid I was too far in and there was no turning back that I would hyperventilate thinking of the negative impact failing this course would have on me and my overall GPA, spiraling deeper and deeper into panic attacks and high anxiety/depression. No matter what I did, extra tutoring, spending countless of hours studying for the course, and yet, I found myself failing quizzes and not doing the best I could on assignments, simply not doing well no matter how much time and effort I put into it. It was not until last week that my anxiety started taking a toll on me physically and I was sick with a fever for two days that I finally broke down to my mom this past weekend and she begged me to seek help from an academic advisor and to reach out to my QSAS disability coordinator, she also encouraged me to reach out to my psychotherapist back in Toronto for an emergency phone session and she reminded me to embrace all the support from family, my therapist and the University had to offer. I feel my personal strain of worrying of being a failure only spiraled me into a more vulnerable place that I no longer had control over my emotions, that I finally knew I needed to seek help at this point. I called my therapist this past Monday March 18th, I met with my academic advisor on Tuesday March 19th and I met with my disability coordinator, Meg Hall, on Thursday March 21 to discuss my accommodations that I currently have in place and to seek further on campus support for my anxiety. Please note I am registered with QSAS with a diagnosed learning disability in mathematics and I was under the impression CISC 101 was not math related as it was described in the course description, however, some aspects of the course are being taught mathematically. As I write this appeal letter, I can say I could not be more grateful than I am now that I did seek help. I remembered why I came to Queens in the first place, to be successful and knowing I tried everything, I realized I was not a failure and it was ok to let go in order to look after my overall well-being. I would never stop trying but this course was definitely something that just did not click with me and I would be doing an injustice to myself and my future if I did not do the right thing by dropping this course to ensure a better success for myself. I am respectfully requesting your compassion to please allow me to drop this course without it affecting my academic transcript. I promise I will ensure to always look after my well-being first and comply with future deadline dates if I ever find myself in a similar situation. I will also not be going into computer science nor will I be taking another computer science course at Queens. If my request is approved my plan is to take a summer course to make up for a lost credit, so I will be on track for my plans here. I sincerely appreciate your time and consideration to my appeal.

Respectfully,

Samantha Nicastro
Student 20109925