Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to appeal for a status change for the following courses (to either DR or NG; please see below) so that the grades I received for those courses will not be included in my GPA.

DR ASTR 101 (2016 Fall) Astronomy I: Solar System: Grade F
DR STAT 263 (2016 Fall) Introduction to Statistics: Grade F
DR CISC 203 (2017 Fall) Discrete Math for Computing II: Grade F
NG CISC 204 (2017 Fall) Logic for Computing Science: Grade D-
NG CISC 220 (2017 Fall) System Level Programming: Grade D
DR CISC 260 (2018 Winter) Programming Paradigms: Grade F
DR ENIN 140 (2018 Summer) Media and Design Thinking: Grade F

In the Winter term of 2016 - my second semester attending Queen's University - I experienced something that had never happened before: an episode of significantly interfering mental health symptoms, which resulted in me returning home, and, in turn, marked the beginning of what has been an exceedingly challenging struggle. Months after the onset of this episode, I met with psychiatrist Dr. Jeremy Butler of Oakville, Ontario, whom diagnosed me with a mental health disorder, as recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - 5th edition (DSM-5). Under the care of Dr. Jeremy Butler, as well as my clinical psychologist, Dr. Stephen R. Swallow (Oakville, Ontario), my symptoms were treated by medications and psychotherapy. However, I continued to experience symptoms as well as the addition of negative side effects from the medication trials (in effect, worsening my symptoms, as well as adding new symptoms). As such, my negative experience with the medications over the subsequent two and a half years (January 2016 - Fall 2018) resulted in me experiencing significant barriers that impacted my cognitive, adaptive, and, most relevant to this letter, my academic functioning.

In the years following the onset of my symptoms and associated medication trials proved to be extremely difficult. Not only was I encountering new limitations as to what I was capable of, but the medications deemed necessary for my recovery were also taking their toll. On an average day, I experienced constant confusion, delusions, and the cycling of extreme moods. The very foundation of my study habits, my work ethic and my ability to work with others - everything that allowed me to excel in high school with above-average grades, while juggling clubs, sports (both school and rep), as well as a software empire with various acquisitions from institutions around the world - all became severely weakened and unstable within this vicious cycle.

My symptoms significantly interfered with school as well as much of the social environment that I had found comfort in at Queen's University. Due to the nature of the illness, making new friends and asking for help - both in and out of lecture - became perceivably insurmountable. Similarly, many of my own life-long friends, including those with whom I had created a habit of studying, decided to cut ties with me. This, in combination with the medication that was skewing my perception of reality, solidified another false belief I had created: I don't deserve to be here. I don't belong here.

With consistent instability came inconsistent patterns of failure. For example, my grades began to decline in courses that had consistent readings, assignments and/or tests. Occasionally, I was able to find success in courses with sparse marking schemes. If one bad week was followed by a few good days - only then was I able to catch-up on assignments, readings, reviewing lectures, etc.; this was not a sustainable solution and, in my opinion, resulted in the inconsistent and poor academic performance evident on my transcript.

Each week became more terrifying than the last. I never knew what lay ahead. However, I did know that, at any point, I could be heading home with nothing to show for the semester. I began to form unhealthy behaviors in response to my mental health symptoms (e.g., excessive fears), such as avoiding classes, assignments, grades, people, and professors of classes where marks were low. Although it seems obvious now, it took years of therapy to overcome what I now understand to be fear-based decision making.

However, like the various other unhealthy work habits that I had developed during this period, the damage had already been done. I was dropping courses the week before exams. Lagging behind in any given class became a new normal. I was still experiencing episodes that forced me to return home. Despite all of the medications and counseling I was receiving; my condition was somehow worsening.

Both my therapist and I knew that school was going to be vital in rebuilding a solid foundation of a structured lifestyle - something I had never needed before but has now become a requirement of everyday life. Healthy habits, in combination with a consistent schedule, was the only clear solution. Yet, internally, every day was something radically different. Something needed to change.

The illusion of progress had plagued me and my family for years. As is the case with many medications for mental health disorders, there were many new medications to be trialed, each of which involved a minimum 4-6 week waiting process before being able to start determining the therapeutic impact of a medication and/or specific dose on my symptoms. For me, this process involved extreme discomfort, especially in the context that many of the initial medications and doses did not prove to be effective in treating my symptoms. As previously mentioned, some of the medications actually resulted in worsening my symptoms while adding negative side effects. If I had one good week that lasted longer than usual, it would be attributed to the medication. However, the period of grace was almost always followed by a prolonged period of unmanageable side-effects. Soon after, the same internal conflicts arose. This helped contribute to the illusion that we were always 'this close' to finding the combination of medications that worked. This resulted in an extended period of time (two and a half years) of medication trials without success and with continued symptoms.

Over the course of this past year, my therapist and I came to the conclusion that this, in itself, was a vicious cycle. Although it felt like progress, the facts were saying otherwise: I came to realize that I wasn't improving, and in fact, I was getting worse. The only observable progress I was making was with my therapist in Oakville. Last year, as well as the previous summer and first semester of this year, I decided to increase the intensity of psychotherapy by having two sessions a week, as opposed to one every two weeks. We were able to pin-point specific issues and dig deep down to their origins.

By acknowledging these issues for what they really were, and not for what they seemed, we were able to overcome many of these internal problems I had struggled with for years. Simultaneously, my psychiatrist and I agreed to switch my medications regimen to something much less invasive. The combination of these two decisions has resulted in a stable, structured and sustainable lifestyle for months longer than any previous trial of medication.

I have now been following this same structure of lifestyle for nearly a year and have yet to face a situation of major instability. An important part of this stability comes from being at university (with a reduced course load) as I continue to develop adaptive coping skills to manage my symptoms and strive towards reaching my academic and career goals. Furthermore, I have started meeting with a second clinical psychologist on a weekly basis - Dr. Rylie Moore (Toronto, Ontario), while at school - whereas before, I would only meet with a therapist outside of the school year. Having this support during the academic school year has resulted in continued improvement, stability, and academic engagement. I plan to continue with this support because my ongoing psychotherapy has proven to be hugely beneficial; instead of having to recall distressing events and problematic reactions from the school year/semester, I am now able to work on maladaptive beliefs, emotional reactions, and behaviors as they arise week-to-week, resulting in an improved trajectory, increased stability, and school engagement. Furthermore, my past and current psychotherapy experiences have allowed me to see the decisions, and consequences of those decisions, as they occur. Already this year, Dr. Moore has helped me to avoid these vicious cycles and maladaptive habits that I may have otherwise not seen myself falling back into. Similarly, he has been able to help me structure my life in a way that allows me to study here at Queen's with comfort and confidence.

Taken together, I am requesting that you consider an appeal for a status change for several of my courses that were negatively impacted by my journey and struggle with my mental health symptoms. I hope that this letter provides enough detail in regard to my experience and the reasons for my academic struggles/outcomes. I also hope that this letter articulates that my education is important to me and that I have worked diligently to develop a strong support network in order to continue fostering my resilience, academic success, and career success.

Thank you for reviewing my application. I truly appreciate your consideration in this matter. Should you require additional supportive documentation to the aforementioned information, please do not hesitate to ask.


Sincerely,
Justin Bush