Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: TO:
ASSOCIATE DEAN (STUDIES)
FROM:
KERENZA FREEMANTLE B MUSC 19

Request
I am requesting the following courses, all completed in Winter 2016, be listed as Credit Standing (CR) on my transcript: CLST 103, MUSC 129, and MUSC 191.
I also request that CLST 200 (Fall 2016) be removed from my transcript. This removal will not impact the completion of my degree requirements.

Extenuating Circumstances
I entered Queen¿¿s directly from Grade 12, having been accepted into Music on the basis of my audition. I was completely unprepared for both the environment (being only 17 and coming from a small town with many supports) and my program (I am a trumpet player and learned the instrument through high school classes; I had no knowledge of theory, sight singing, ear training, or keyboard ¿¿ all requirements for first year Music).
Then, in October of 2015, my mother disclosed she had been diagnosed with endometrial cancer. The oncologist at the time believed it was stage 1 and could be treated with surgery. My mother is my sole parent (my father died unexpectedly when I was 8, after a massive stroke). As a result of the surgery in Fall 2015, it was determined my mother¿¿s cancer was, in fact, stage 3C, and potentially terminal. She spent the next year and a half in treatment ¿¿ radiation and chemotherapy ¿¿ and unable to work. Due to this illness I spent most of my second semester in first year and almost all of my second-year commuting home to make sure I had enough time with her in case the unthinkable happened.
Also, in Fall 2015 I suffered a major concussion, exacerbated by the fact it was my third concussion (I suffered two sports-related (figure skating and rugby) ones in high school), and had to have my exams deferred to the following semester. This concussion also left me struggling with my focus and ability to complete assignments as I needed more time resting than I was prepared for.
Winter 2016 was crippling for me ¿¿ I had extra exams to prepare for; I was overwhelmed by the specialized course work in my program; and I could barely concentrate because of my anxiety for my mother. I suffered a number of panic attacks, requiring medication and support from my mother. I strategized to the best of my ability with my academic advisor and thought I could be successful. I was not. My anxiety also impacted my abilities to stay in lectures, particularly in history as there were many students in the class, as they were a huge trigger for me and I would often leave suffering an anxiety or even a panic attack and unable to stay for the rest of the content. Even when I remained, I would be unable to absorb the information as I struggled to breathe. I was also unable to properly and consistently prepare for and execute on course requirements. At times I was able to focus and achieved high marks; at other times I could not even write a sentence or answer a question. This resulted in massive fluctuations in my marks, and in a downward spiral. I knew I had the ability to be successful, but I couldn¿¿t manage it, and became more and more depressed and dysfunctional. As well, the periodic successes I experienced in my courses fooled me into believing I was doing better than I was. When it became apparent my entire year was in jeopardy, I focussed on my major, letting my history course slip even though I love classical history. I also struggled in both music theory and keyboard, as I had absolutely no background in either. That my results in these courses were due to my illness and my lack of foundation is apparent from my success in later theory and techniques courses.
On May 11, 2016, my grandmother, who was also suffering from endometrial cancer, passed away. Four days later, my grandfather unexpectedly also died. I was very close to my grandparents, particularly to my grandfather, who had filled the place of a father for me for most of my life. His death devastated me. My grandmother¿¿s death also brought back the terror of possibly losing my mother, who was still undergoing treatment for her cancer and suffering severe side effects. I dealt with those problems by ignoring them and pushing forward, not wanting to add to my mother¿¿s burdens.
In my second year at Queen¿¿s University I continued to struggle with my mental health, particularly in the fall semester, and attempted suicide. Fortunately, my housemate called EMS and I ended up in the hospital. After this attempt I made serious changes to how I was living and the support system around me. I was finally able to access specialized medical help, and was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. That diagnosis has since been updated to bipolar disorder. I have continued to seek professional medical help and have followed my doctor¿¿s advice. However, I was unable to be successful in my fall history course, as I continued to experience the same episodes as I had in first year ¿¿ panic attacks requiring I leave lectures, anxiety preventing me from synthesizing information and either preparing for or completing course requirements.
I continue to experience mental health issues, but have become more aware of the triggers and mitigation strategies for dealing effectively with my illness. That positive and effective management of my health is reflected in my greater success at Queen¿¿s in my last two years. However, that success has consumed all my energies, and is the main reason I have not appealed the courses listed in this appeal prior to now. I was also ignorant of the existence of any appeal route for courses and lacked the support or understanding to even ask the right questions to find out about it. Frankly, all I could manage was to keep my head down and devote all my time to preventing my university career sliding even further down into failure. I am proud of what I have accomplished and overcome, and only now am able to realize how the obstacles from my first years risk my entire future.
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Future
My goal is to become a music therapist. This is a developing field with credentials that are still being set; however, a Master¿¿s degree is required. I believe I have both the musical skills and the personality and abilities to be successful in the field and contribute to its advance, but, at the moment, the grades I received in the courses I have listed are holding me back from achieving what I set out to do when coming to Queen¿¿s. If they are removed from my transcript, the upward trajectory of my academic success will show more clearly, and I will be able to compete for a place in a graduate program to achieve my dream.
If you require any clarification or further details, please do not hesitate to reach out.
Respectfully submitted,
Kerenza Freemantle