Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: I am appealing to drop PSYC 100 (Fall-Winter, 2020-21), MATH 111, 121 (Fall-Winter, 2018-19), and I am appealing the Faculty¿¿s decision that I must withdraw from Queen¿¿s for a minimum of one year.

During my first two years (2017-2019) in Queens, I suffered from severe cases of depression, anxiety, and social alienation that affected not only my academic performance but my regular personal life as well. From eating to sleeping to basic hygiene, I slowly became more detached from life in nearly every way, losing the will to simply get through my days. This presented a serious issue as I couldn¿¿t even try to do my classwork, even just starting it was struggle in itself. Focus was fleeting, concentration during my classes was hard, though I attended all of them during that first fall semester. Motivation became slim by the end of that semester, the interest in my classes faded rapidly as winter started, and by the end of my first year I felt directionless, yet stubbornly I did not look for counselling nor a possible change in my area of studies. It got worse from there. Most days during my second year I wouldn¿¿t even get up from my bed, I didn¿¿t eat, I didn¿¿t wash, I didn¿¿t talk, and I didn¿¿t ask for help. The contrary in fact, the harder it became the quieter and more isolated I grew. Alone in my dorm room, and later my apartment, I would turn off my phone, as I didn¿¿t want to deal with my increasingly worried family and the glaring fact that I hadn¿¿t managed to make connections with anyone at my university even after four semesters of classes, and simply drifted through my days feeling emptier and emptier. It shames me to admit it now; I even consider ending my life a few times. However, unbelievable as it is, I denied this reality to myself as I had not experienced mental health issues before my stay at Queens and I had never met anyone else that did. Therapists and Mental illness were things of stories, not to exist in my real life. This long denial and unhealthy mentality stopped me from even trying to take action to get better. After my second year ended my family visited me here at Kingston, and, after seeing the condition I was living in, forced me to take a yearlong break from my studies and reconsider my future.

The first step was getting help for my mental health. It wasn¿¿t easy to convince me, as I was still denying that anything was wrong with me, but on my family¿¿s behest I met with several therapist to no success until finally I met someone that I managed to open up to. I have been in therapy for 14 months now. I have learned a lot about myself during that time, and though I have gotten better, I still struggle every day to keep from falling back down. My second step during that break was to reconsider if I even wanted to study in the first place. This led me to ask what I wanted my life to be. For months I had no answer to give to anyone. I considered transferring to another university within Canada or another country or even continent, maybe one closer to my family. I considered changing majors, but I didn¿¿t know what to pursue. I considered simply going into the workforce in one way or another, but that felt too much like drifting through life for me. Regardless, one thing was for certain I could not continue as I was. It took a while, but I realized I wanted to study, and if I was to study anywhere, I wanted it to be in Queens. Hence, the issue became what to study, Computer Science and Mathematics, though the areas that my high school councillors and family pushed me to go for, weren¿¿t fulfilling to me. Something my therapist had gone to lengths to make me see that I had no drive for them, that I felt purposeless studying them. So, I had to look elsewhere. What were my interests I am veracious reader since a young age and an aspiring fiction writer, thought the latter took months of weekly therapy for me to finally accept that particular dream and goal of mine, so literature was the first to come to mind. By dividing my more deeply ingrained interests I settled in a list of four different areas of study: Literature, Linguistics, Philosophy, and Psychology.

Four classes decided, I jumped back into my studies as quickly as I could, now with a healthy system of support with biweekly therapy sessions and a more consistent communication with my family and friends. I thought I was ready to finally have the good academic performance I wished that I could¿¿ve in my first two years. This last year showed me I was not ready, and I did not accomplish the level of performance I wanted. I still had problems with my mental health, though now I had a framework for which to work them on. I still had troubles with my classes and my organization, though in this area I simply stubbornly pushed forward. Do I feel proud of what I managed this past two semesters To speak with honesty, yes, I am. It doesn¿¿t excuse that I only passed half of my classes, but I¿¿m happy with my progress compared to my first two years, this time at least I gave it my best unlike before when I couldn¿¿t even make myself do the bare minimum, and I strongly believe I can do better next time. More importantly, I want to do better. Not for anyone but myself. Yet, I know wanting is not enough, so I took steps into the direction of my goals.

I finally asked and reached for the help that Queen¿¿s has always offered, and I had ignored. Now, I¿¿m currently working with a SASS tutor to improve my academic skills from top to bottom. She is helping with my spring semester class, but I¿¿m planning to continue working with her through my next fall semester. Moreover, I have contacted councillors from the Faculty to plan for my future studies and the paths that I could take, instead of simply sticking to what was clearly no working. I am currently leaning for a Philosophy or Linguistics majors as those are the ones that seem better suited for me and my interests. Lastly, I am now in contact with a Support Services Coordinator for Student Affairs, who has become an indispensable guide to me in finding the right people to talk to for help and keeping me in check with the goals that I have set up.

I have committed myself to humbly, and finally, ask for all the help offered that I could possibly take and want to take, to keep myself responsible for my health, mental or physical, and not ignored it, to improve academically with assistance through the current summer and next semesters, and to finally achieve the level of performance that I and Queen¿¿s University deserves. I am stubborn, I¿¿ve always been like that. It may take me a few tries and a few falls along the way, perhaps a few more than it should, but I always get it right at the end. I just want the chance to prove it.