Manage Appeals
Petition Type: 2
ID: 8106
Submitted: August 26, 2021 at 2:30:34 PM
Relevant Petition: 8066
New Information: Good Morning,
I am struggling a bit with how to answer your email. I think I hoped to provide you with context around my life and that of my children in order for you to better understand what we had been through and how it impacted my studies.
My ex-husband was initially charged with sexual interference and sexual assault in 2013, when my daughters were 1, 4 and 6. It took six years for it to finally be resolved in early 2019 and I truly believed that I would then be able to move forward with my life and this included completing my studies. I did engage in the courses initially and was quite successful, particularly in French. However, as the date of the annual access visit (this part of our legal agreement was included in the initial paperwork, the date was earlier in August 2019 but the agreement allowed for one visit per year) became imminent, the struggles with my children became greater. There were many symptoms of chronic PTSD that became overwhelming - sleep disruptions, nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, fear, and so on. My ex-husband's behaviour during the visit did not help as he criticized their support networks and disclosed some of what professionals had discussed during the assessment, which in turn led to a need for healing from the experience. These challenging behaviours seemed to increase as the visitation got closer and subsided a couple of weeks afterwards.
Unfortunately, I was also overwhelmed with what was happening. I naively believed this visit would be 'easy' because the children knew it was the only one for a year. I felt that it was time to carry on with my goals but this proved to be a mistake. I lost track of deadlines for coursework and drop/add dates due to what was happening with the children. I felt very embarrassed and ashamed because of my inability to manage all that was happening and didn't reach out for support from Queen's at the time.
As cliche, as it sounds, this taught me that healing is not linear and I needed to adjust the expectations I had for all of us moving forward.
The documents I provided to you were simply to give you a time reference for why I felt I would be successful given the completion of the legal matters. I am not sure how I can qualify the trauma we endured without disclosing the documents relating specifically to the abuse. I have reached out to my support at Queen's and she has written a letter to support my appeal. I will send it along tomorrow once her final edits are complete. I have also now completed both of my summer term courses for this year and have received A as a final mark in one of them and, while not formally posted on Solus yet, I believe a 97% in the second course. I am trying very hard to rebuild my life for the well-being of myself and my children, it is not an easy road but I am committed to working hard and accessing support as needed.
Thanks again for taking the time to read through this information, I am hopeful that this provides you with the additional information needed and I will send the letter along some time tomorrow.
Dorothy Evans
I am struggling a bit with how to answer your email. I think I hoped to provide you with context around my life and that of my children in order for you to better understand what we had been through and how it impacted my studies.
My ex-husband was initially charged with sexual interference and sexual assault in 2013, when my daughters were 1, 4 and 6. It took six years for it to finally be resolved in early 2019 and I truly believed that I would then be able to move forward with my life and this included completing my studies. I did engage in the courses initially and was quite successful, particularly in French. However, as the date of the annual access visit (this part of our legal agreement was included in the initial paperwork, the date was earlier in August 2019 but the agreement allowed for one visit per year) became imminent, the struggles with my children became greater. There were many symptoms of chronic PTSD that became overwhelming - sleep disruptions, nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, fear, and so on. My ex-husband's behaviour during the visit did not help as he criticized their support networks and disclosed some of what professionals had discussed during the assessment, which in turn led to a need for healing from the experience. These challenging behaviours seemed to increase as the visitation got closer and subsided a couple of weeks afterwards.
Unfortunately, I was also overwhelmed with what was happening. I naively believed this visit would be 'easy' because the children knew it was the only one for a year. I felt that it was time to carry on with my goals but this proved to be a mistake. I lost track of deadlines for coursework and drop/add dates due to what was happening with the children. I felt very embarrassed and ashamed because of my inability to manage all that was happening and didn't reach out for support from Queen's at the time.
As cliche, as it sounds, this taught me that healing is not linear and I needed to adjust the expectations I had for all of us moving forward.
The documents I provided to you were simply to give you a time reference for why I felt I would be successful given the completion of the legal matters. I am not sure how I can qualify the trauma we endured without disclosing the documents relating specifically to the abuse. I have reached out to my support at Queen's and she has written a letter to support my appeal. I will send it along tomorrow once her final edits are complete. I have also now completed both of my summer term courses for this year and have received A as a final mark in one of them and, while not formally posted on Solus yet, I believe a 97% in the second course. I am trying very hard to rebuild my life for the well-being of myself and my children, it is not an easy road but I am committed to working hard and accessing support as needed.
Thanks again for taking the time to read through this information, I am hopeful that this provides you with the additional information needed and I will send the letter along some time tomorrow.
Dorothy Evans
Student Number: 3752528