Petition Letter
To The Associate Dean of Studies,
I am appealing to have the twenty-one day deadline to submit an academic appeal waived so I may appeal to have some courses dropped from my record. Since I started at Queen¿¿s, I have been struggling with Major Depressive Disorder and I am continually working with multiple doctors to try and find a successful treatment plan. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder in 2010, and I am still trying to manage it. Part of my struggle with depression has been managing my frame of mind and I believe that until now, I was not in the right frame of mind to consider an academic appeal possible.
While the disorder on its own is hard to manage, it also makes other traumatic experiences worse, and over the time I¿¿ve spent at Queen¿¿s I have had several of these experiences, which acted as additional stressors. In my third year, I had two family deaths within two weeks of each other, followed by two others three and five months later. My stepbrother was diagnosed with cancer around the same time, and underwent aggressive chemotherapy treatment and had two surgeries, one that was highly invasive and classified as high risk. In my second year, I was raped by a peer, which I believe caused significant psychological damage to me. This happened off campus, but I had originally met this person on campus, as he was also a student. After the assault, I had nightmares from which I would wake believing someone was in my bedroom, and I had trouble interacting with males I didn¿¿t know. Any time I saw a reminder of, or someone who resembled, the person who assaulted me, I would experience symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder such as intense fear and shaking. This made walking through campus, and attending my classes difficult due to my constant anxiety and fear of seeing this person on campus. With the majority of my mind perpetually occupied by these fears and grievances, my depression worsened, and I had a very hard time finding motivation to improve my situation.
I spent a lot of time blaming myself for what happened to me, both in regards to my personal life and my academic life. While I believed that it was my fault I was raped, I also believed my academic shortcomings were my fault. When it was first suggested to me that I consider making an appeal, I did not believe that I deserved and would be granted one.
When my academics were the worst they had been to date in the fall term of 2014, I finally agreed to drop my winter term classes and move home to work on finding a successful treatment plan. Removing the stress of school has allowed me to dedicate more time and effort to working with my doctors. After I came out of a very bad depressive episode this year, for which I was sent to the hospital, I began comparing my mindset between the episode and my current state, and I can now see the differences. The best description I can give for how it felt during that episode is that I was overwhelmed with a feeling of hopelessness, and a belief that nothing I did mattered. After working with my doctors, I am beginning to understand that my rape was not my fault, and that depression is a legitimate illness, which has affected my academic abilities as well as my view of myself.
Please allow me to make my appeal, as I feel I am capable of better than what I have achieved at Queen¿¿s up until now. Thank you for taking the time to review my appeal.
Sincerely,
Jessica Portelance
I am appealing to have the twenty-one day deadline to submit an academic appeal waived so I may appeal to have some courses dropped from my record. Since I started at Queen¿¿s, I have been struggling with Major Depressive Disorder and I am continually working with multiple doctors to try and find a successful treatment plan. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder in 2010, and I am still trying to manage it. Part of my struggle with depression has been managing my frame of mind and I believe that until now, I was not in the right frame of mind to consider an academic appeal possible.
While the disorder on its own is hard to manage, it also makes other traumatic experiences worse, and over the time I¿¿ve spent at Queen¿¿s I have had several of these experiences, which acted as additional stressors. In my third year, I had two family deaths within two weeks of each other, followed by two others three and five months later. My stepbrother was diagnosed with cancer around the same time, and underwent aggressive chemotherapy treatment and had two surgeries, one that was highly invasive and classified as high risk. In my second year, I was raped by a peer, which I believe caused significant psychological damage to me. This happened off campus, but I had originally met this person on campus, as he was also a student. After the assault, I had nightmares from which I would wake believing someone was in my bedroom, and I had trouble interacting with males I didn¿¿t know. Any time I saw a reminder of, or someone who resembled, the person who assaulted me, I would experience symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder such as intense fear and shaking. This made walking through campus, and attending my classes difficult due to my constant anxiety and fear of seeing this person on campus. With the majority of my mind perpetually occupied by these fears and grievances, my depression worsened, and I had a very hard time finding motivation to improve my situation.
I spent a lot of time blaming myself for what happened to me, both in regards to my personal life and my academic life. While I believed that it was my fault I was raped, I also believed my academic shortcomings were my fault. When it was first suggested to me that I consider making an appeal, I did not believe that I deserved and would be granted one.
When my academics were the worst they had been to date in the fall term of 2014, I finally agreed to drop my winter term classes and move home to work on finding a successful treatment plan. Removing the stress of school has allowed me to dedicate more time and effort to working with my doctors. After I came out of a very bad depressive episode this year, for which I was sent to the hospital, I began comparing my mindset between the episode and my current state, and I can now see the differences. The best description I can give for how it felt during that episode is that I was overwhelmed with a feeling of hopelessness, and a belief that nothing I did mattered. After working with my doctors, I am beginning to understand that my rape was not my fault, and that depression is a legitimate illness, which has affected my academic abilities as well as my view of myself.
Please allow me to make my appeal, as I feel I am capable of better than what I have achieved at Queen¿¿s up until now. Thank you for taking the time to review my appeal.
Sincerely,
Jessica Portelance