Petition Letter
I am submitting a petition to waive the one year deadline to drop failed courses from my transcript from the 2016-2017 and 2017-2018 school years, as I was dealing with personal circumstances that severely impacted my ability to perform academically during both of these years. I have been mentally unable to petition these deadlines until now, as my academics have been a major source of anxiety and trauma for me over the years. In 2018, after experiencing some debilitating health issues that impacted my mobility for the majority of the year, I submitted a petition to waive the requirement to withdraw. I was extremely determined to complete my degree in spite of everything - when that appeal was initially denied it had a heavy emotional impact on me, I felt crushed by the weight of everything I had been through and although the decision was eventually overturned, the anxiety surrounding my academics eventually became unbearable. I attempted to return to school online that year, but it became very clear to me that I was still dealing with this paralyzing anxiety and trauma that had compounded over the years. Taking time away from Queen’s was extremely helpful for me, and I was able to approach my academics with a renewed confidence in the Summer 2024 semester - I continued to be determined to graduate and put this pain behind me. I have completed all my required courses and electives, but the anxiety begins to set in again when I realize my failures from the most difficult years of my life would continue to hold me back unless I petitioned them. Although I have ample documentation of my health issues during the 2017-2018 school year, the other source of my pain was something I had spent years repressing trying to run from, and the lack of concrete documentation creates an even bigger source of anxiety for me. On the night of March 10th, 2016 I was sexually assaulted. I tried for years to pretend my assault never happened, and I thought that maybe if I just didn’t think about it or talk about it - that it would magically go away. Unfortunately, my attempts to repress this trauma caused my unaddressed feelings to spill over into other aspects of my life. I fell into a deep depression and would break down in a state of panic at everyday stressors without understanding why. My studies and my relationships were both negatively impacted by an emotional wound that I was too ashamed to address. At the start of the next school year I had taken a big step in my healing journey by starting anti-anxiety medication, in hopes that I could get back on track by managing the severe anxiety that had previously hindered me. However, in October 2017 I began experiencing some pretty severe health issues that would persist for the majority of the 2017-2018 school year (which I had previously detailed in a petition submitted in 2018). Throughout that school year I struggled with my mobility and was in and out of hospital, eventually receiving a diagnosis for Acute Seronegative Reactive Arthritis. My immune system was drastically compromised, and the onset of this condition was exacerbated by the constant stress and unaddressed trauma I had been experiencing. I had tried to brute force my way through my pain because I was so fixated on graduating and moving on with my life, but I learned the hard way that sometimes willpower isn't enough. For years I had a lot of trouble engaging with anything to do with my academics because so much trauma and pain had been snowballing that I would experience an insurmountable level of anxiety when trying to approach the subject. A major part of my anxiety surrounding my academics, and part of why it has taken me so long to submit this petition, is this paralyzing fear that somehow the most painful moments of my life won’t be “enough”.
Although it is difficult to address these experiences, being able to face these fears, and come out on the other side of them, is a very important step in my healing journey. It is important to me to be able to finish and graduate as a form of closure. I would like to move past this painful period of my life in order to truly be able to heal. I appreciate you taking the time to read my letter.
I discussed this petition at length with Haley Everson - specifically highlighting my anxiety surrounding the difficulties providing documentation for my assault. At her suggestion, I feel that I should elaborate on why I am not submitting any additional supporting documentation. For starters, I have been living in Toronto since 2018 and have not had health insurance for several years, and thus have not had access to consistent mental health support that could provide any type of letter or documentation for me. I often spoke with anonymous sexual assault crisis hotlines during particularly difficult or triggering periods over the years, but I am currently at a point in my healing journey that I fear I run the risk of re-opening old wounds or ruminating on this pain if I were to seek those supports now - which is another reason why it feels so important for me to be able to have closure and move forward with my life. Additionally, there is no one who I confided in at the time that I am able to comfortably reach out to now to provide a letter. I never shared this information with my family, and unfortunately I spent so long trying to hide my pain that the only person I confided in was an old roommate that I’ve long since fallen out with. Once again, I am grateful that you are taking the time to read my letter, and I apologize for the lack of proper documentation.
Although it is difficult to address these experiences, being able to face these fears, and come out on the other side of them, is a very important step in my healing journey. It is important to me to be able to finish and graduate as a form of closure. I would like to move past this painful period of my life in order to truly be able to heal. I appreciate you taking the time to read my letter.
I discussed this petition at length with Haley Everson - specifically highlighting my anxiety surrounding the difficulties providing documentation for my assault. At her suggestion, I feel that I should elaborate on why I am not submitting any additional supporting documentation. For starters, I have been living in Toronto since 2018 and have not had health insurance for several years, and thus have not had access to consistent mental health support that could provide any type of letter or documentation for me. I often spoke with anonymous sexual assault crisis hotlines during particularly difficult or triggering periods over the years, but I am currently at a point in my healing journey that I fear I run the risk of re-opening old wounds or ruminating on this pain if I were to seek those supports now - which is another reason why it feels so important for me to be able to have closure and move forward with my life. Additionally, there is no one who I confided in at the time that I am able to comfortably reach out to now to provide a letter. I never shared this information with my family, and unfortunately I spent so long trying to hide my pain that the only person I confided in was an old roommate that I’ve long since fallen out with. Once again, I am grateful that you are taking the time to read my letter, and I apologize for the lack of proper documentation.