Petition Letter
To the Associate Dean (Studies),
My name is Keerthy Raja (20011171) and I am writing this appeal letter to you to request to waive the requirement to withdraw from studies for the upcoming academic year (2019-2020). I want to take the opportunity through this letter to explain the circumstances that have resulted in my current situation in hopes that this will allow you to have a better understanding when considering my appeal.
During my first year, I took different introduction courses to help guide my interests into a particular major. I came into university thinking that I wanted to become a politics major and since course selection was limited to quite generalized courses, I took a variety that I thought would be interesting. Most upper year students I had known told me that your grades would drop tremendously once you get to university, but I always thought that it only happened to people who never completed their work. However, as I was still getting used to university life and the work load, although all my work was completed, I still was not achieving the grades that I thought I would. I ended my first year with a really low GPA, something that I did not realize was so difficult to bring back up.
Since that first year, I had gotten really into my head about failing out of school. I developed so much constant anxiety about my family finding out how terrible my first year really was. I was completely ashamed, embarrassed, and disappointed in myself, but I was still determined to do much better during my second year. At this point, I defaulted into a Genders major because that was one of the only majors, I was able to get into because of my low GPA. Although I enjoyed Gender Studies, I was still looking to switch out of it because when thinking about a future career, I was not sure what I would be able to do with a degree in Genders. After doing research into careers in Public Relations, I began thinking that I should become an English major because I had seen Queen's Alumni go into the path once they completed their English degrees. So, during my second-year course selection, I decided to take ENGL100, since I had not taken it in first year, along with a bunch of elective classes hoping I would be able to switch into it at the end of the year. As the year went by however, I began to realize that English was not for me, I had absolutely zero interest in it. I broke down many times trying to figure out what direction I was supposed to be going in. The most interesting classes I was taking ended up being in Gender Studies and those courses were actually the only ones I was doing well in. But since I had plagued my schedule with electives, determined to be an English major, my GPA at the end of the year became an all-time low. I got so worried about getting kicked out of school, my mental health completely deteriorated during that summer, I became severely depressed because of the shame I felt about being a disappointment to myself and my family.
When I received the letter that placed me on Academic Probation, I was completely disappointed in myself, but I was still relieved that I was not getting kicked out of school. I went into third year determined to be able to become the student I used to be. After doing more research, I realized that I would still be able to obtain a PR certificate at a college program with an undergraduate degree in anything and after having attended Life After ArtSci, Genders and PR seem to go very well together. I was passionate about it and I was ready to finally accept myself as a Genders major. Despite my motivation to do well, my mental health issues took an even bigger toll on my third year. I was constantly and consistently so anxious about failing out of university. Every single morning when I woke up, it would be the first thing I thought about. The insurmountable pressure of trying to do really well in all of my classes or risk my GPA lowering even further took over my life. It felt as if I had dug a hole for myself that I could never get out of, a single mistake could push me deeper. Although this year I was able to have great attendance and I really enjoyed my classes and work, when it came down to my grades, they still were not where they needed to be for me to be able to bring my GPA back up to a Good Standing. The pressure and anxiety I felt to achieve the grades I needed was enormous, every day I thought about how I was never going to be able to do it and I should just quit now. I kept rationalizing it to myself but at the same time, I did not want to be a university drop-out, I know that I am a good student. Although I achieved better grades in some classes this year, they were not enough to outweigh the lower grades I got in other classes. Thus, the requirement to withdraw.
My mental health issues, specifically my anxiety and depression has severely and negatively affected my education since coming to university. I am never one to ask help. I grew up with parents not believing that mental illness was real and that being depressed was just a form of laziness. Even though their views have changed slightly in recent years, they never believed that their children would ever experience any sort of issue. It was engrained in me to think that I was being ridiculous and that my problems were never as bad as someone else's and since my parents absolutely do not believe in therapists, I never had someone to talk to about the way I was feeling. There are only 3 people in my life who even know of the severity of the mental health issues I had experienced due to school pressure. One of those people is actually one of my Genders Professors, Nancy Butler. We had engaged in many conversations about my academics as she taught me in two of my courses this year. She became a huge support system for me, she was the only person I completely trusted to discuss my mental health and she supported me planning for academic success. As I had mentioned before, I never like to ask for help, but Prof. Butler has been the biggest help to me in getting my motivation back to become a successful student, she is actually the one that convinced me to write this appeal. Although I realize that If I am granted this appeal that the pressure to succeed will still be very present in my life, it was because of Prof. Butler through her advice and support that I realize that I need to start taking advantage of all the resources I can get whether that mean talking to more of my professors and using the counselling services provided by Queen's in order to get back on track, I need to start asking for help. I want to take the steps to be able to balance my emotions and academics in order to become the student I know I am, and I am asking for help to be able to do that.
My first step to getting back on track is writing this appeal letter to you, Associate Dean. I originally was not going to write this letter because I was afraid that my circumstances were not extenuating to be considered, but after much thought and discussion with Prof. Butler I realize that although I do not have any official documentation, my mental health greatly affected my studies since my low GPA in first year. I set myself up for failure and barely survived the last two years, but I have created an Academic Plan for success in the coming year and if I am granted to opportunity to return to Queen's I know that I will not let my final opportunity go to waste.
Kind Regards,
Keerthy Raja 20011171
My name is Keerthy Raja (20011171) and I am writing this appeal letter to you to request to waive the requirement to withdraw from studies for the upcoming academic year (2019-2020). I want to take the opportunity through this letter to explain the circumstances that have resulted in my current situation in hopes that this will allow you to have a better understanding when considering my appeal.
During my first year, I took different introduction courses to help guide my interests into a particular major. I came into university thinking that I wanted to become a politics major and since course selection was limited to quite generalized courses, I took a variety that I thought would be interesting. Most upper year students I had known told me that your grades would drop tremendously once you get to university, but I always thought that it only happened to people who never completed their work. However, as I was still getting used to university life and the work load, although all my work was completed, I still was not achieving the grades that I thought I would. I ended my first year with a really low GPA, something that I did not realize was so difficult to bring back up.
Since that first year, I had gotten really into my head about failing out of school. I developed so much constant anxiety about my family finding out how terrible my first year really was. I was completely ashamed, embarrassed, and disappointed in myself, but I was still determined to do much better during my second year. At this point, I defaulted into a Genders major because that was one of the only majors, I was able to get into because of my low GPA. Although I enjoyed Gender Studies, I was still looking to switch out of it because when thinking about a future career, I was not sure what I would be able to do with a degree in Genders. After doing research into careers in Public Relations, I began thinking that I should become an English major because I had seen Queen's Alumni go into the path once they completed their English degrees. So, during my second-year course selection, I decided to take ENGL100, since I had not taken it in first year, along with a bunch of elective classes hoping I would be able to switch into it at the end of the year. As the year went by however, I began to realize that English was not for me, I had absolutely zero interest in it. I broke down many times trying to figure out what direction I was supposed to be going in. The most interesting classes I was taking ended up being in Gender Studies and those courses were actually the only ones I was doing well in. But since I had plagued my schedule with electives, determined to be an English major, my GPA at the end of the year became an all-time low. I got so worried about getting kicked out of school, my mental health completely deteriorated during that summer, I became severely depressed because of the shame I felt about being a disappointment to myself and my family.
When I received the letter that placed me on Academic Probation, I was completely disappointed in myself, but I was still relieved that I was not getting kicked out of school. I went into third year determined to be able to become the student I used to be. After doing more research, I realized that I would still be able to obtain a PR certificate at a college program with an undergraduate degree in anything and after having attended Life After ArtSci, Genders and PR seem to go very well together. I was passionate about it and I was ready to finally accept myself as a Genders major. Despite my motivation to do well, my mental health issues took an even bigger toll on my third year. I was constantly and consistently so anxious about failing out of university. Every single morning when I woke up, it would be the first thing I thought about. The insurmountable pressure of trying to do really well in all of my classes or risk my GPA lowering even further took over my life. It felt as if I had dug a hole for myself that I could never get out of, a single mistake could push me deeper. Although this year I was able to have great attendance and I really enjoyed my classes and work, when it came down to my grades, they still were not where they needed to be for me to be able to bring my GPA back up to a Good Standing. The pressure and anxiety I felt to achieve the grades I needed was enormous, every day I thought about how I was never going to be able to do it and I should just quit now. I kept rationalizing it to myself but at the same time, I did not want to be a university drop-out, I know that I am a good student. Although I achieved better grades in some classes this year, they were not enough to outweigh the lower grades I got in other classes. Thus, the requirement to withdraw.
My mental health issues, specifically my anxiety and depression has severely and negatively affected my education since coming to university. I am never one to ask help. I grew up with parents not believing that mental illness was real and that being depressed was just a form of laziness. Even though their views have changed slightly in recent years, they never believed that their children would ever experience any sort of issue. It was engrained in me to think that I was being ridiculous and that my problems were never as bad as someone else's and since my parents absolutely do not believe in therapists, I never had someone to talk to about the way I was feeling. There are only 3 people in my life who even know of the severity of the mental health issues I had experienced due to school pressure. One of those people is actually one of my Genders Professors, Nancy Butler. We had engaged in many conversations about my academics as she taught me in two of my courses this year. She became a huge support system for me, she was the only person I completely trusted to discuss my mental health and she supported me planning for academic success. As I had mentioned before, I never like to ask for help, but Prof. Butler has been the biggest help to me in getting my motivation back to become a successful student, she is actually the one that convinced me to write this appeal. Although I realize that If I am granted this appeal that the pressure to succeed will still be very present in my life, it was because of Prof. Butler through her advice and support that I realize that I need to start taking advantage of all the resources I can get whether that mean talking to more of my professors and using the counselling services provided by Queen's in order to get back on track, I need to start asking for help. I want to take the steps to be able to balance my emotions and academics in order to become the student I know I am, and I am asking for help to be able to do that.
My first step to getting back on track is writing this appeal letter to you, Associate Dean. I originally was not going to write this letter because I was afraid that my circumstances were not extenuating to be considered, but after much thought and discussion with Prof. Butler I realize that although I do not have any official documentation, my mental health greatly affected my studies since my low GPA in first year. I set myself up for failure and barely survived the last two years, but I have created an Academic Plan for success in the coming year and if I am granted to opportunity to return to Queen's I know that I will not let my final opportunity go to waste.
Kind Regards,
Keerthy Raja 20011171