Petition Letter
Dear Associate Dean (Studies),
I am James Yui Sing Lau, Queens Student number 10009237. I am appealing to drop ECON351 (Fall, 2014).
I am from Hong Kong and my entire family lives over there. I do not have any relatives living in Canada. I am the only person from my family living here. Currently, there had been many riots over Hong Kong known as the Umbrella Protests during the 2014 Fall semester. There were many violent outbreaks around the area where my family lives in. I fear for their safety. As I read more news online, I was unsure whether my parents were trying to hide the fact that their lives are in danger. This worrisome feeling had distracted me from my studies a lot.
Also, my family was having financial difficulty since the beginning of my career as a university student which they were trying to hide from me. My parents are lending me money to study in university. I applied for OSAP, what they had provided barely cover my needs. Since my parents usually try to protect me from knowing the truth, I was unaware my father had lost his job until the middle of the first semester of my first year. This is why I¿¿m not sure if my family was truly safe during the riots, which are still occurring.
I¿¿ve overheard my parents having angry exchanges when I was visiting Hong Kong, there may be a chance that my parents are considering a divorce, however this truth was hidden away from me. I can cope with living away from home, however, with all these uncertainties of whether what they say was a lie or truth is unbearable.
I¿¿ve been isolated a lot before I was in university and still am. When I first came to Queen¿¿s University, I never felt that I truly fitted in, whether working in residence as a House President, first year living in West Campus or any clubs I've had joined.
As time passes by, I prefer solitary until I reapplied for the Residential Conduct Board. I met someone with an identical personality and behaviour with mine, minus all the depressed and negative thoughts. As we began to know each other closer, I think I could¿¿ve been attracted to her, although I repressed my feelings since I highly doubt she's interested in me and academics are more important. As I see her behaviour got too deluded to the point I find she was mentally abusing herself, I tried to wake her up from it. Unfortunately, she was under the delusion so deep from realizing what she got herself into, upon hearing the truth angered her. She cut all contact information from me during the October of 2014. She blocked my Facebook and phone. First friend since I was in Queen¿¿s who I can have a heart to heart had shunned herself away from me. That was heartbreaking.
After that incident and with the constant horrific thoughts my family could be hurt because of the protest, I was starting to feel bleak, hopeless, and emptiness. It was getting harder for me to sleep and when I am in bed, I do not want to get out, hoping this is all just a bad dream. I just want to be left alone in solitude. Cynical thoughts and the loss in faith were continuously crossing in my mind. As I lived in an outside residential facility, which is similar to residential housing, there was a cafeteria. I avoided going there because I wanted to avoid the crowd. There was a loss of appetite; I was only eating one or two meals a day. Since I'm troubled by these thoughts, my emotions are usually judgmental, angry and easily irritated. At times, just walking to a class or up the stairs to my room seemed like it was a never ending walk. Having poor concentration and unable to make decisions were hard; it made reading in academics even harder. Sometimes it may take up to an hour just to finish reading half a page, one page if I was lucky. Working on midterms and final exams were even harder, as I was under the pressure of bad grades and constant distractions. No matter how hard I try, my grades never showed it. My parents believe I was just being lazy. As that progressed, I started to detach myself from people. I began to lose interest in music, television shows, activities and people. I do not think this is a severe psychological issue because I'm not having suicidal or self-harming thoughts or performing any of those.
Sometimes, it felt like I¿¿ve seen the truth, there is no value in anything, hope is a lie, and life is meaningless. The only reason I am still trying is for my parents¿¿ sake. The reason why I¿¿m in economics and still studying was in order to get a stable financial income. It is in Hong Kong¿¿s culture that the bird never leaves the nest, the roles are just reversed: the son will grow up, get a job, and feed the parents. Otherwise, I would¿¿ve chosen a program in film, media arts, or animation, something I truly enjoy. Yet, I can¿¿t be selfish enough to leave my parents behind to pursue my own happiness, sacrifice is necessary.
I was unable to concentrate in almost anything in the constant dread that one phone call might be bad news saying that my family member was injured or dead because of the protest. Seeing a close friend shunned me really made me reconsider participating in social activities or meeting anyone whatsoever. Besides that, I was constantly been getting negative feedbacks from my sister blaming me for using up all my family¿¿s resources of necessities such as school fees, residential fees, and plane ticket travel costs.
The reason I'm dropping this course is because I have already taken this course in the 2014 Winter Semester and passed it. The 2014 Fall semester, I was hoping that I may have a better grade but unfortunately, I have failed. This course also discouraged me from enjoying economics. The hope of having a better future by switching into this program is lost. I would just like to graduate with the honour degree and get a stable desk job in the future to pay back my debt and feed my parents.
Sincerely,
James Lau
I am James Yui Sing Lau, Queens Student number 10009237. I am appealing to drop ECON351 (Fall, 2014).
I am from Hong Kong and my entire family lives over there. I do not have any relatives living in Canada. I am the only person from my family living here. Currently, there had been many riots over Hong Kong known as the Umbrella Protests during the 2014 Fall semester. There were many violent outbreaks around the area where my family lives in. I fear for their safety. As I read more news online, I was unsure whether my parents were trying to hide the fact that their lives are in danger. This worrisome feeling had distracted me from my studies a lot.
Also, my family was having financial difficulty since the beginning of my career as a university student which they were trying to hide from me. My parents are lending me money to study in university. I applied for OSAP, what they had provided barely cover my needs. Since my parents usually try to protect me from knowing the truth, I was unaware my father had lost his job until the middle of the first semester of my first year. This is why I¿¿m not sure if my family was truly safe during the riots, which are still occurring.
I¿¿ve overheard my parents having angry exchanges when I was visiting Hong Kong, there may be a chance that my parents are considering a divorce, however this truth was hidden away from me. I can cope with living away from home, however, with all these uncertainties of whether what they say was a lie or truth is unbearable.
I¿¿ve been isolated a lot before I was in university and still am. When I first came to Queen¿¿s University, I never felt that I truly fitted in, whether working in residence as a House President, first year living in West Campus or any clubs I've had joined.
As time passes by, I prefer solitary until I reapplied for the Residential Conduct Board. I met someone with an identical personality and behaviour with mine, minus all the depressed and negative thoughts. As we began to know each other closer, I think I could¿¿ve been attracted to her, although I repressed my feelings since I highly doubt she's interested in me and academics are more important. As I see her behaviour got too deluded to the point I find she was mentally abusing herself, I tried to wake her up from it. Unfortunately, she was under the delusion so deep from realizing what she got herself into, upon hearing the truth angered her. She cut all contact information from me during the October of 2014. She blocked my Facebook and phone. First friend since I was in Queen¿¿s who I can have a heart to heart had shunned herself away from me. That was heartbreaking.
After that incident and with the constant horrific thoughts my family could be hurt because of the protest, I was starting to feel bleak, hopeless, and emptiness. It was getting harder for me to sleep and when I am in bed, I do not want to get out, hoping this is all just a bad dream. I just want to be left alone in solitude. Cynical thoughts and the loss in faith were continuously crossing in my mind. As I lived in an outside residential facility, which is similar to residential housing, there was a cafeteria. I avoided going there because I wanted to avoid the crowd. There was a loss of appetite; I was only eating one or two meals a day. Since I'm troubled by these thoughts, my emotions are usually judgmental, angry and easily irritated. At times, just walking to a class or up the stairs to my room seemed like it was a never ending walk. Having poor concentration and unable to make decisions were hard; it made reading in academics even harder. Sometimes it may take up to an hour just to finish reading half a page, one page if I was lucky. Working on midterms and final exams were even harder, as I was under the pressure of bad grades and constant distractions. No matter how hard I try, my grades never showed it. My parents believe I was just being lazy. As that progressed, I started to detach myself from people. I began to lose interest in music, television shows, activities and people. I do not think this is a severe psychological issue because I'm not having suicidal or self-harming thoughts or performing any of those.
Sometimes, it felt like I¿¿ve seen the truth, there is no value in anything, hope is a lie, and life is meaningless. The only reason I am still trying is for my parents¿¿ sake. The reason why I¿¿m in economics and still studying was in order to get a stable financial income. It is in Hong Kong¿¿s culture that the bird never leaves the nest, the roles are just reversed: the son will grow up, get a job, and feed the parents. Otherwise, I would¿¿ve chosen a program in film, media arts, or animation, something I truly enjoy. Yet, I can¿¿t be selfish enough to leave my parents behind to pursue my own happiness, sacrifice is necessary.
I was unable to concentrate in almost anything in the constant dread that one phone call might be bad news saying that my family member was injured or dead because of the protest. Seeing a close friend shunned me really made me reconsider participating in social activities or meeting anyone whatsoever. Besides that, I was constantly been getting negative feedbacks from my sister blaming me for using up all my family¿¿s resources of necessities such as school fees, residential fees, and plane ticket travel costs.
The reason I'm dropping this course is because I have already taken this course in the 2014 Winter Semester and passed it. The 2014 Fall semester, I was hoping that I may have a better grade but unfortunately, I have failed. This course also discouraged me from enjoying economics. The hope of having a better future by switching into this program is lost. I would just like to graduate with the honour degree and get a stable desk job in the future to pay back my debt and feed my parents.
Sincerely,
James Lau