Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Dear Associate Dean,

I hope this letter finds you well! I am writing to ask for your assent to late withdrawal from summer term courses PSYC 251, IDIS 199, HLTH 230, FRST 105, COGS 100, and fall term course PSYC 301. I was not able to participate in these courses, or withdraw during the proper time frame, due to a severe episode of mental illness which was related to trauma I experienced growing up.

For context, I was abused from the time I was 12 to age 18 by my father, and witnessed him abuse his girlfriend who lived with us. I was able to do well in school during this time because I was afraid of what would happen to me if I did not. When I was forced to leave home I began to process the hurt and fear I experienced growing up, and that constant sense of reliving has been very detrimental to my academic performance and ability to take care of myself.

Before the summer of 2023, I was already in a very bad mental state and had dropped some courses in order to try and make school more manageable. I was living in a bad neighborhood where drunk men would often fight with women outside my ground-floor bedroom window, and this badly affected my PTSD as they reminded me of violent fights with my father. I made multiple phone calls to the police over the course of a few months, and eventually had to break my lease in order to get away. I also had to leave my job during this period because I was missing too many days due to sleeplessness and the anxiety that residual trauma brought me . I was feeling disappointed with my lack of courses and since I no longer had the stress from my bad neighborhood or work, I felt optimistic in my ability to do school again and applied for summer courses. I was hopeful and excited to get back on track, but the relief I had was short lived and I fell into an even worse period of depression. I couldn’t stop thinking about the things that had happened to me growing up. I stopped participating in my classes about two weeks in because I just couldn’t get past that mental block. I know it may seem ridiculous but even though I knew it was probably the most important thing for me to do, I just could not make myself attend class or even open my laptop. I was having thoughts of worthlessness and death all the time. I did go seek help and was prescribed an intense medication for my depression and suicide related thoughts, but it wasn’t a good fit for me and I did not have the energy to go to the clinic again in the same way I couldn’t do my school. I did consider going to the ER a few times, but I was afraid of hospitalization because growing up I had no power to make my own choices and I did not want to be in that situation again. I went to my hometown and eventually through the support of my friends I started to feel better, but unfortunately this was past the drop deadline or a place where I could even try and catch up on my courses. I planned to write this appeal in September but in the fall I repeated the pattern.

I was feeling better but still disappointed in myself for not being able to move on from what my father did to me. I applied for courses during this period that I felt better. Then I had an event that decimated me because I had no support systems in Kingston. For background, in 2022 I wrote a different appeal asking to drop a course because I was stressed about the charges I was helping press against my father for domestic violence. I knew that once my family knew I was helping press charges they would not support me. This fall, before courses really began, my grandmother (father’s mom) demonstrated that lack of support. For her, it’s really hard to believe that her own son could hurt so many people, and so she chooses to deny his actions. She attempted to discredit my and my co-survivors experience of abuse and continues to try and get me into contact with my father despite my repeatedly expressed fear of him. My father has been charged with domestic violence and was on house arrest. He continues to be on probation. These hurtful events, as well as the absence of friends and support in Kingston, and the weight of trying to heal while trying to move forward was destabilizing. I didn’t know how to handle the things that I was going through, even though I really hoped that I could do it. Like in the summer, I fell into a depressive spiral and I began to experience suicidal thoughts again. I would sleep 15 hours some days and 4 hours on others. I couldn’t eat because I didn’t have the energy to make myself anything. I missed important engagements because I couldn’t get out of bed. I missed deadlines because I couldn’t focus on anything. I imagined what it would be like to be dead all the time. I believe I made it to one midterm of one class before completely crashing. I didn’t want to repeat the mistake of the summer so I dropped all my courses, but my PSYC 301 would not let me drop the course without faculty permission. I dropped the courses on the last date so I was not able to obtain faculty permission within the three hours before the window closed and could not drop the course.

Moving forward, I realized that I was trapped in a pattern that I could not get out of myself. I didn’t want to live the way I was living, or think about death. I decided to take last semester off to actually take care of myself for the first time in three years. I worked on the habits that depression had left me with: I started to eat healthy and exercise, I started talking to the people I love again, and I stopped sleeping at odd hours and waking up at 4PM. I went to student success services and I got help making a plan to try and get a fresh start, with dropping my old courses being hopefully the first step. I also started attending a support group for students who are struggling without parents, and I have also started attending therapy to work through the trauma that I knew for most of my life. I met with academic advisors and my faculty advisor as well and will continue to meet with them to help me stay on track. I would really appreciate being able to drop these courses because I know they are not a reflection of my ability to learn, I didn’t fail them because I wasn’t trying, I failed them because I was unable to keep myself afloat and attend them at the same time. Unlike the pattern I previously described, I have confidence in my ability to return to school. Not just because I am feeling good, but because I now have a support system and plan to keep me on track when I might not. Thank you for hearing my appeal, and please let me know if I can help you with any additional information.

Best Regards,
Savannah-Cheyenne Bain
20302610