Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Letter to waive the petition deadline

To the Associate Dean Dr. Naaman,

I am writing this letter to address the topic of dropping courses after the deadline (Winter 2019-Winter 2021). Firstly, I would like to address the reason for making this request so late. For me to talk about this issue I am going to need to go in depth to describe my mental health at that point and the extenuating circumstances that led to this point. During the period of early 2019 all the way through to winter term of 2021 I was suffering severely mental health wise. I was going through a period of depression that was brought on, in part, by my late arrival to the university in fall of 2018 (my first year at the university), which was due to visa/family issues. When I had first arrived I initially found it hard to get acclimated to the university environment and make friends as I had missed out on frosh week and the first month essentially. That period of time had proven to be essential in my advancement and development as a student, as I had missed out on key information regarding registration and managing student workload. Half of my classes were online (to get a jump on starting the semester while I was awaiting my visa) so I had not gotten the normal experience of attending classes, or at least not in a full load format. After managing to cope and making the best of a situation I had managed to complete my first semester with some rather acceptable grades, given the circumstances. After the completion of my first semester, I was totally misguided in making my decisions of enrollment in my second semester (as I had believed that I was in the economics program because that is what I applied for, while in truth I was still an artsci student). Given this misjudgment I made the ill-advised decision to take second year Economics courses, due to the fact I had completed the first year credits for the Economics courses and I was informed that I was allowed to enroll in second year economics courses. This mere decision had added pressure on what was already a bleak situation as I was still struggling to find my footing at the university. As the semester progressed I noticed that I was losing motivation and interest in classes and social life a like. I started to isolate myself as this growing indifference started to grow within me.

As March approached I started to lose my appetite and was only frequenting the cafeteria and campus restaurants once or twice a week ( I had many tams left by the time the semester ended). When April had arrived I had approached my breaking point, I was continuing to push myself to study as that was the only thing left for me, however, as I continued to push myself my mental health continued to regress (without my knowledge of what was happening at the time). I had started to go weeks without eating, days without sleeping, thought of food made me nauseous so I had abstained from eating. I was solely relying on water and juice (to give me energy). Furthermore, by the time exams had arrived my mental state had reached such a dire point where I felt that I was not even capable of functioning, let alone attend the exams. Therefore, I had emailed my professor enlisting the details of what I was going through at the time (as attached in my supporting documents), to which they informed me to visit the hotel dieu and to submit an academic consideration form. I followed the advice that was given to me and visited the hospital while the university had booked me an appointment with an advisor. After meeting with the advisor I was able to get a better idea of what was going on and I was given an informal diagnosis of depression and anxiety. I was not previously aware of these concepts, and in no way did I think that I could one day be diagnosed with such mental health issues (given that mental health has a stigma surrounding it and carries a negative connotation back where I lived prior to Canada). I was informed by the nurse that due to the semester ending she would not be available and I would need to wait till the start of the new semester after the summer to get a full diagnosis.

After returning from Jordan, I had tried to visit the student wellness center to book an appointment to follow up my previous one in April, however, much to my surprise I was told the closest appointment to meet a doctor was in November. That response itself was a setback for me as it meant that I had to wait an additional amount of time to get the help I needed as I was unable to access outside sources due to the fact that I wasn’t a resident and was informed that students should go to the student wellness centre. At that time my social relationships had grown and I believed it be enough to keep me from facing further mental struggles, so I had tried to keep keep myself afloat on my own without help. However, by mid-semester I could start to feel the pressure on me mentally. I was trying to manage the fact that I was behind (credits-wise) while also keeping my mental health in check, however, it proved to be a very daunting task. I started to experience panic attacks and subsequently I started getting anxiety attacks which were hard to contain as they seemed to appear spontaneously. That was the beginning of when I started to feel like I was losing control as I was not able to keep my mental health in check. Every few days I started to experience panic/anxiety attacks; many of them I suffered alone, as to avoid alerting or disturbing anyone. The amount of shame and guilt I felt at those moments was insurmountable. The amount of times I asked myself why is this happening to me while I cried in a quiet corner became a regular occurrence. I felt like like I was letting my family as well as myself down; all while having to go through the experience alone as I was too ashamed to discuss it with anyone over fear of not being understood or outcasted. It was truly a soul crushing period of time for me personally. At the point I had booked an appointment with a consultant at the student wellness center, to discuss my situation. However, through my session with her I believe I was not able to portray the reality of my situation to the fullest -as I did not feel as comfortable with her as I did with triage consultant Allison Lavigne, whom I had met with initially- as I was met with reassurance that my situation is not that bad and that things would improve. I left the appointment with a bitter taste that I was not able to get my point across but hung on to the hope that things would improve. However, things did not improve as you can see from my file, the downward trend continued and I had actually had an incident during an exam in the examination room (as referenced in the supporting documents).

Moreover, over the break I had traveled to Jordan to visit family and friends and I had another panic attack without prior indicators. It was extremely difficult as it was the first time that it had occurred while I was with the people I was close with. I had felt extremely embarrassed and unable to explain myself as I myself was not not able to comprehend fully what was happening. By the time January 1st had come I had reached a breaking point as I was feeling pressure to contain what had happened to me to avoid a reoccurrence. My anxiety started to peak and my ocd habits started to escalate, I was incapable of completing simple tasks without completing my ocd rituals (mentioned in documentation). I had reached a point where I was not able to function as a normal human being; at that point I had reached out to Allison as I had reached a state of extreme stress and anxiety, where I was not able to live a normal life and function normally. After returning for the winter term, I had scheduled an appointment with the student wellness center and after being informed that I will have to wait till March to meet a doctor, I agreed. I had made a vow to myself to strive for a great semester, fight the anxiety and handle things on my own as unfortunately I had no other option. I had reignited some hope within myself that if I wait a couple of months I will finally get the treatment I needed. I buckled down, started going to the library and fixed my schedule. Things started going well temporarily as I finished my tasks on time, started socializing more and adhered to a strict and balanced schedule. I was happy that the tide had started to turn. As March rolled around I was excited that I had managed to make some progress and that my appointment was approaching. On the day of the appointment I was informed that it had been postponed which was an absolute gut punch. After waiting months to finally meet the doctor, the appointment gets delayed on the same day. I began to feel like it was lost hope. In addition to that, unfortunately for me, 6 days later the university had shut down due to covid. Things were somewhat fine until my house mates left and I was left alone. Without the option of returning home, I was left alone (also without the services of the student wellness center). For obvious reasons communication with the university were slow and inefficient, without the physical presence of staff and with telephone lines being redirected to an operator. Response time with emails were extremely slow.

After enduring several months of isolation in Kingston my housemates had returned, however, my mental sate had reached such a poor state that it was deplorable and close to unrecoverable. I was surprised that I was allowed to sign up for classes given my performances in previous years, however, I capitalized on the opportunity and signed up for classes in the hope of getting some credits. To be honest, I believe I merely signed up for classes over the fear that had I not, my parents would not view the fact of taking a year off in a positive light (and would subsequently ask the reasons, to which I was not ready to share with them), as well as the hope that I would pull of a miracle and perform well. However, that was completely illogical given my mental health at the time. As the months passed during covid (fall-winter 2020-2021) my condition worsened, my depression continued, my anxiety and my ocd symptoms kept increasing as services were limited during that time and isolation was strongly enforced. I kept experiencing restless sleep and paranoia. It was a total nightmare. I had reached a level of non-functionality so severe that I struggled to get out of bed let alone attend any of my classes. As a result, I had not attended the majority of my classes. It had gotten to the point where I was receiving emails from onq to make sure if everything was okay due to my complete inactivity during that period of time.

During the following year my symptoms continued to escalate up until my dad had arrived. After his arrival, I was finally able to get some of the help that I was in dire need for. I had finally met a doctor. However, even though I had met her it was evident that it was going to be an uphill battle to return to a state of some normalcy given the longevity of the sickness. After months of follow up with various doctors and mental health struggles, my father believed it would be best to relocate me to Egypt (where my parents were residing at the time). Upon returning to Egypt I sought out multiple therapists until eventually being placed at a mental health hospital (Behman Hospital) for 2 months. During the duration of my stay I was able to find the intensive help that I required and made some significant strides in improving my mental health. After my discharge, I followed up with a therapist routinely and obtained a job in the education sector. I feel that I have made considerable progress and that I am ready to continue my education.

In conclusion, to avoid going into further detail, I believe I have highlighted some of the hardships and struggles I had to endure during my tenure at the university. I hope it sufficiently paints a picture of the plethora of mental health issues I was facing at the time and my incapability to perform at the highest level. My mental health at the time combined with the fact that I was unaware of the fact that I was able to drop courses (I believed if I dropped too many I would be kicked out) rendered me incapable of going through the process of dropping classes at the required time. Apologies if the letter was too lengthy or at any point the language has been informal however, I felt it was imperative to provide as much detail to clarify the situation of what I was going through with the utmost transparency to avoid any confusion or misinterpretation of events. Finally, I hope I have provided enough clarity of the extenuating circumstances I faced at the time and would be highly grateful if you take them into consideration during evaluation.