Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Dear Associate Dean,

I have been dealing with anxiety and depression since high school. My anxiety makes it difficult for me to do well in performance based classes and complete large assignments. A combination of depression and anxiety makes it difficult for me to attend class some days, especially when I am doing poorly in the class.

The keyboard lab class was difficult for me because it involved performing pieces and exercises in front of a professor and other students each week. Though I practiced daily, I became so nervous in the class that I was unable to get past the first piece that I was assigned. The professor did not believe that I was practicing because I was unable to perform. As the semester went on, I began having panic attacks while getting ready to go to the keyboard class. I was not able to attend the class if I had an attack because they usually last 45 minutes to 2 hours and it is very difficult to breathe or function otherwise. I eventually stopped attending the class altogether, not wanting to continue with the weekly panic attacks.

The choral ensemble posed a similar problem to the keyboard class. I had no experience with singing prior to joining the ensemble and I'm not a naturally good singer. I attended all classes and tried my best. I did not feel nervous singing with the large group because I could blend in rather than being singled out. I missed one performance due to some emergency dental surgery, but I brought a doctor's note to the choir director and it was all sorted out. At the end of the semester we had singing tests where we would get in small groups of 6 and sing for the director. I tried this, though I was nervous going into it and failed because I was too quiet. The director gave me another chance to sing on my own, but I couldn't do it because I was too anxious. The teacher tried to make accommodations for me, but nothing really worked. I stayed in the choir for second semester, hoping to get some more experience and to maybe pass the year end test, but since I had failed the first semester I could not pass the second.

The German class was difficult for me because I had joined the class a week late and was behind. I also had trouble getting onto the website for the online portion of the class because the code that came with my textbook wasn't working, which made it impossible for me to do my homework. I talked to the teacher about this problem at the end of almost every class and gave him my email so he could send me a special link that he had sent my friend after she couldn't get on the site either. Eventually my friend sent me the link and I was able to access the online portion. The teacher told me that he would unlock the assignments that I had missed and give me extra time so I could complete them. This didn't happen though, and I struggled to complete homework assignments that were too hard to do without completing the earlier work. I always felt as though I was very behind in the class and struggled to do well on tests that I was not prepared for. The texts made me anxious and it was harder for me to remember what I had studied. The final exam made me even more anxious because of how many times it had been changed. Going into it, my friend and I thought we would be having a conversation in German with prompts from the teacher, so we practiced together and felt prepared. When the exam came around, what we were doing had changed and the teacher was asking us questions instead. I felt more anxious with every word or phrase that I forgot and did poorly on the exam.

The Music and Society course wasn't performance based, but still gave me trouble. There were a few writing assignments during the term and I found myself struggling to complete them. My depression makes it difficult for me to stay motivated while completing an assignment and my anxiety makes me fear that the paper won't be good enough, causing me to spend hours editing my work.

When I got to Queens I began seeing my therapist, Kate Hanton. She helped me become more confident and learn how to deal with my anxiety in classroom settings. We made progress this year, but I still have a long way to go. I also saw a tutor to help with some of my classes.