Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Name: Amir Ibrahim SN: 10132837


Dear Associate Dean,


I am appealing to drop CHEM 282 (Winter 2016) after the deadline.

Coming to a place like Canada from a foreign country is really a jump in the unknown. I came from a place with a different culture, traditions and environment. When I think of Canada, I think of it as the land of opportunities and new beginnings. This is what Queen's was to me. However, being here proved to be a major struggle. I had difficulty adapting due to the lack of diversity in many aspects of the community. I ended up feeling more isolated than ever. This past year and specifically this past semester have been one of the lowest points in my life. At the beginning of the school year, both of my grandmothers fell extremely ill and received continuous medical treatment and there was no way of being with them, as they were half the way across the world. Around the middle of December, my paternal grandmother passed away. I was unable to go back home and be with my family. I could not get any consolation or comfort from my parents or siblings since it has been 2 years since I last saw them due to immigration reasons and financial problems. I had reached a very low point and was barely hanging on. The feeling of isolation grew in me and the feeling of entrapment grew with it. When I thought things could not get any worse, news struck at the end of January. My maternal grandmother had passed away after suffering for months battling with a terminal case of cancer. I was very close with the both of them. I grew up in their laps and I could not even attend their funeral.

Things deteriorated from there and did not seem to ever want to get better. The mourning and feeling of isolation and entrapment turned from sadness to an empty and numb hollowness. It was hopelessness. Every day felt like a struggle within myself. It was emotional and mental exhaustion that drained me of energy and motivation. It is a feeling that constantly nagged at me and never left. It was often very hard to concentrate on the work at hand and it was almost impossible to keep up with the school work.

Towards the end of February, I realized that my mental state was negatively affecting my work and I decided to take some steps to lighten my course load. Specifically, I dropped BCHM 218. Despite the large loss of money, I decided it might be necessary in order to be able to focus on my other courses However, this step proved insufficient and I still could not handle the four remaining courses, including CHEM 282. A large component of the other 3 courses was lab and group work based. The help needed was often in the group and lab work from my partners and TAs. There was always time to work on assignments. In regards to BIOL 202, I had spoken to the lab coordinator, Dr. Barbara Vanderbeld following my exam and explained to her my situation and she reassured me that I would get credit as the lab component boosted my grade. BIOL 206 AND PHARM 100 were similar in that their group and lab components often boosted my grades. The lab and group work components saved my overall grades in those 3 courses. In retrospect, I realize now I should have dropped both BCHM 218 and CHEM 282, but during that time the feeling of isolation, entrapment, the passing of my grandmothers, the financial problems back home weighed me down and clouded my judgment and made me reluctant about dropping 2 courses at once.

However, CHEM 282 was not structured in my favour. It required me to keep up with weekly readings and reviews which was often difficult given my mental state, which left me drained of energy and motivation on a daily basis. It had a heavy weight on midterms and exams rather than group and lab components, which I tend to succeed better in. As mentioned before the feeling of isolation, entrapment, the passing of my grandmothers, the financial problems back home weighed me down and overwhelmed me every day and night and made it very hard to concentrate or keep up with the work. I want to emphasize that I did try to complete to course successfully. I had messaged the professor during the last midterm and tried getting an extension but it was refused. I put in over 200 dollars worth of outside support in order to do well in this course but this availed to nothing. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate I was constantly in a state of despair. During finals week, I have no choice but to admit that I reached a point during which I had lost all hope within and suicidal thoughts began manifesting. The recurring thoughts of ending everything and feeling of being worry free were constantly present. Concentrating on the work at hand was extremely difficult and I was constantly unable to focus. Things, however; have been getting better since keeping up with a counsellor.

Starting April, I have begun seeing a mental health counsellor. Thankfully, it has been helping me deal with many of my personal issues. The plan moving forwards is to continue my regular visits to the counselling office. I cannot stay down because of this semester and have not given in. Therefore, I have already registered to retake CHEM 282 in the summer to make sure I achieve the best grade possible. These past 2 years have been a strong indication of the strong mismatch between Kingston, Queens and I. I was not able to adapt to the community here. My sense of isolation and loneliness grew and it was severely affecting my mental health especially with none of my family around. Once I reached low stages of feeling suicidal at the end of this semester, I was convinced that it was a clear indication of the radical change I needed to take to alter the situation I am in. I have therefore decided that in order to do my best, I needed to feel my best. I have decided to transfer to Toronto. I haven't personally heard of people who wish to transfer to another university in third year. Most people would have adapted and loved life here. However, this was not my case at all and I'm ready to make changes to better myself and mental state, no matter how hard they may be.


Thank you for taking the time of day to read this.

Sincerely,


Amir Ibrahim.