Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: Dear Dr. Bénard,

Please accept this appeal to drop ENGL315, WRIT125, and WRIT265 and request Aegrotat standing in DRAM205 and HIST272. Since 2011, I have struggled with severe, debilitating anxiety and moderate to severe depressive episode(s). These issues produced the competing impulse to achieve perfection--that is, to produce well-written, innovative work--and to avoid the work itself when I could find the motivation to look at it because the evidence of my failure as well as my tendency to revise single paragraphs at the expense of any meaningful progress reminded me that I'd never be good enough. Based on these difficulties, I had an informal arrangement with Dr. Scott-Morgan Straker to submit coursework for ENGL315 after the deadline; however, he suggested that I drop the course and pursue an alternative over the summer. I have considered the appeals process several times and I would likely have initiated it much earlier if I had only had to address psychological difficulties, but I faced external challenges as well.

Either during or immediately before I enrolled in these courses, five relatives and a friend died while my aunt received a diagnosis of terminal bone cancer and my mother underwent treatment for breast cancer. Within a year of her recovery, my (surrogate) uncle developed terminal cancer that left him emaciated and in constant pain before his eventual death in a palliative care centre nearly two hours from my home. In addition to grief and the associated stress, I felt financial pressure and even more so when I enrolled in online courses through Continuing and Distance Studies because I could no longer depend on student loans or bursaries after I left Kingston. As a result, I exhausted my modest savings on tuition for Continuing & Distance Studies courses, among other bills, and I looked for work throughout the semester.

I felt that because I had a smaller course load, I should have time to look for work, but I poured far too much time into each application and felt deeply discouraged when I heard no response. I took each refusal as proof that I was a failure and given that I didn't have to interact with my professors or classmates, I felt even more isolated than in previous years. I was always irritable, so I found it more tiring than anything else to spend time with friends and family because I constantly had to bite my tongue to avoid alienating them. Therefore, I had less access to my support system than I otherwise would and I struggled to motivate myself. When the prospect of death started to seem comforting, I decided to seek help. In addition to therapy, my family doctor prescribed anti-depressant medication based on my anxiety, situational depression, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. After two negative experiences with therapists, however, I was reluctant to put myself in a vulnerable position with another unknown quantity.

Given my improved mood and increased energy, therapy seemed particularly unnecessary, but in retrospect, I needed support both to cope with the changes in my life and to challenge my damaging thought patterns. I might have recognized the problem sooner, but I started a full-time job at a non-profit shortly before I began treatment. Since April 2014, I've spent between 28 to 35 hours per week in the office and 12 to 15 hours on public transit because even if I didn't want to live with my family, I cannot afford to rent an apartment closer to my office. My job itself is emotionally and intellectually demanding and it was especially in the first year when I had to contend with a steep learning curve as well as high expectations and mounting pressure from managers and from myself. My anxiety only compounded these factors, so when I came home, I had little energy left for coursework and I continued to approach writing with the belief that I should be able to achieve perfection now that I'd addressed my depression, only to be frustrated when I fell short of these expectations.

Over eighteen months of biweekly therapy, I learned to balance my obsessive need for perfection with more practical considerations. I'm still working to manage my anxiety, and I may always have to, but for the first time in years, I don't feel as if I'm being crushed under its weight. In recent months, I've kept in touch with my professors more regularly, finished a 400-level English course at York University with an A+, and started applying for Master's programs. It has helped to increase the sense of urgency as I work to finish my degree at long last and prove both to myself and my professors that I'm worthy of every second, third, and fourth chance I've received. I'm cognizant of the challenges that lie ahead as I navigate work, school, and mental health, but I have strategies in place. For one, I will continue to attend therapy sessions on a monthly basis. In addition, I have created a schedule to ensure I can finish my remaining assignments and shared it with my therapist because I benefit from systems of accountability. In Winter semester, I will enrol in a class(es) to ensure I can finish my degree this year and I will submit Master's applications in mid-January.

I will have to address dropped classes on my transcript any time I'm asked to produce it, but in the face of every challenge, I've remained committed to finishing my degree and pursuing further studies. I think now that I am equal to these goals. If I have a GPA that reflects my ability rather than my circumstances, I can more easily persuade Admissions Committees and prospective employers to listen. I would very much appreciate your support and I thank you sincerely for your kind attention.

Yours truly,


Aisha Wilks