Manage Appeals
Petition Type: New
ID: 3594
Submitted: June 12, 2017 at 8:41:54 PM
First Name: Maxwell
Last Name: Choi
Student Number: 10178364
Email: 14mmc9@queensu.ca
Degree Program: BFA
Plan: ARTFIN
Level of Study: 3
Petition Categories
Petition Categories: Waive the requirement to withdraw for one year
Petition Letter
Petition Letter: Dear Dr. Johanne Bénard,
I am writing this letter to appeal the Faculty¿¿s decision that I must withdraw from Queen¿¿s for one year. I write this letter with a full understanding of the reasonings for which I am required to withdraw. I accept my failure to secure a sufficient GPA, however, I also know that my struggle with mental illness took hold of my drive, well-being and my ability to perform in the academic domain. I am taking steps to free myself of social anxiety so that I may be a happy, hardworking student once again.
My problems began early on for me in first-year. Insecurities and low self-esteem carried over with me through high school, eventually developing into anxious and self-isolating tendencies. My mobility; getting to class, going out for food, etc. was highly restricted by thoughts that my peers on the street were judging me in a negative light. Every time someone would laugh, say something to a friend privately, or mutter a sentence, be it in a tutorial, lecture or any other public space, I would think it was directly aimed at me. I found it impossible to sit through a tutorial and focus when the environment felt so hostile. Participating in discussion and working with others became an extremely daunting task for me. Afraid of embarrassment, my attendance in classes plummeted, as I tried to deal with these issues from afar¿¿ I felt the need to avoid all sources of anxiety. Ultimately, I fell behind in courses because I did not attend enough tutorials and lectures in order to stay actively engaged.
At the start of second year, my mental state worsened even further. My new roommates, my best friends from first year, became a new source of anxiety for me. I would be teased occasionally for not going outside, being unable to attend my classes during the week, or not speaking in a normal manner as my head space was in an anxious state. Through my social anxiety, I grew an irrational fear of smelling bad (ORS). Seeing someone touch their nose or sniffle around me would trigger a response from my mind that I was somehow releasing a foul odour. Essentially, I believed that I always smelled foul, regardless of having normal hygiene practices. Again, I feared embarrassment and isolated myself from those around me. Even in my smaller-grouped Fine Arts classes, I avoided interaction at all costs with the students or professors, keeping my distance and constantly covering my mouth when speaking to them. To progress with my work in the program, I would only go to the studio late at night to avoid feeling shameful of how I acted and smelled. This was the height of my social anxiety, staying away from school and most public spaces in general because I was scared of making a fool of myself around my peers.
My Fine Arts professor at the time, Jan Winton, was the first to notice that something was wrong. She noticed that not only my attendance but also my behaviour when present in class was off. Privately, I explained to her what I was going through. She referred me to my academic advisor and places I could go to seek help. During that week, I made an appointment at the mental health walk-in clinic on Princess Street. They provided me with a self-help booklet, which provided me with a better understanding of why I was thinking in such a way. I did not return for regular counseling, thinking that I could use the booklet to effectively treat my mental illness. Sadly, the problems persisted for the few remaining months of second year. Since then, I have visited a psychologist for counseling at the Student Wellness Services and seen steady improvement in my social anxiety. I plan to continue working with the psychologist and find an additional counselor at home in Mississauga over the summer. I carried on for too long dealing with this mental illness, now is the time to break free.
Continuing on with post-secondary education means more than anything to me. I see it as an important step in becoming the person I know I can be. I want you to know that I am not a quitter or weak-minded individual. These past few years have been by far the most difficult years of my life, abundant in feelings of self-disappointment and shame, wondering why I am feeling or acting a certain way. But, I am determined to succeed and fulfill my potential. I now feel as if I have the tools and the information required to become a productive student at Queen¿¿s University.
Thank you for the opportunity.
Max Choi
I am writing this letter to appeal the Faculty¿¿s decision that I must withdraw from Queen¿¿s for one year. I write this letter with a full understanding of the reasonings for which I am required to withdraw. I accept my failure to secure a sufficient GPA, however, I also know that my struggle with mental illness took hold of my drive, well-being and my ability to perform in the academic domain. I am taking steps to free myself of social anxiety so that I may be a happy, hardworking student once again.
My problems began early on for me in first-year. Insecurities and low self-esteem carried over with me through high school, eventually developing into anxious and self-isolating tendencies. My mobility; getting to class, going out for food, etc. was highly restricted by thoughts that my peers on the street were judging me in a negative light. Every time someone would laugh, say something to a friend privately, or mutter a sentence, be it in a tutorial, lecture or any other public space, I would think it was directly aimed at me. I found it impossible to sit through a tutorial and focus when the environment felt so hostile. Participating in discussion and working with others became an extremely daunting task for me. Afraid of embarrassment, my attendance in classes plummeted, as I tried to deal with these issues from afar¿¿ I felt the need to avoid all sources of anxiety. Ultimately, I fell behind in courses because I did not attend enough tutorials and lectures in order to stay actively engaged.
At the start of second year, my mental state worsened even further. My new roommates, my best friends from first year, became a new source of anxiety for me. I would be teased occasionally for not going outside, being unable to attend my classes during the week, or not speaking in a normal manner as my head space was in an anxious state. Through my social anxiety, I grew an irrational fear of smelling bad (ORS). Seeing someone touch their nose or sniffle around me would trigger a response from my mind that I was somehow releasing a foul odour. Essentially, I believed that I always smelled foul, regardless of having normal hygiene practices. Again, I feared embarrassment and isolated myself from those around me. Even in my smaller-grouped Fine Arts classes, I avoided interaction at all costs with the students or professors, keeping my distance and constantly covering my mouth when speaking to them. To progress with my work in the program, I would only go to the studio late at night to avoid feeling shameful of how I acted and smelled. This was the height of my social anxiety, staying away from school and most public spaces in general because I was scared of making a fool of myself around my peers.
My Fine Arts professor at the time, Jan Winton, was the first to notice that something was wrong. She noticed that not only my attendance but also my behaviour when present in class was off. Privately, I explained to her what I was going through. She referred me to my academic advisor and places I could go to seek help. During that week, I made an appointment at the mental health walk-in clinic on Princess Street. They provided me with a self-help booklet, which provided me with a better understanding of why I was thinking in such a way. I did not return for regular counseling, thinking that I could use the booklet to effectively treat my mental illness. Sadly, the problems persisted for the few remaining months of second year. Since then, I have visited a psychologist for counseling at the Student Wellness Services and seen steady improvement in my social anxiety. I plan to continue working with the psychologist and find an additional counselor at home in Mississauga over the summer. I carried on for too long dealing with this mental illness, now is the time to break free.
Continuing on with post-secondary education means more than anything to me. I see it as an important step in becoming the person I know I can be. I want you to know that I am not a quitter or weak-minded individual. These past few years have been by far the most difficult years of my life, abundant in feelings of self-disappointment and shame, wondering why I am feeling or acting a certain way. But, I am determined to succeed and fulfill my potential. I now feel as if I have the tools and the information required to become a productive student at Queen¿¿s University.
Thank you for the opportunity.
Max Choi
Academic Plan
Academic Plan: The most important thing for me in achieving academic success is to rid myself of mental illness. The course content¿¿ when I was mentally present, or working from home, was not too difficult to handle; it was my inability to get to lectures and tutorials that ultimately caused me to fail. I believe that there are two things required for me to become a proactive student once again: Time and therapy.
Aside from mental health issues, there are still many changes that need to be made to my academic plan. A change in majors would not only give me a fresher outlook on school subjects but also a chance to lighten my workload as I go through therapy. The fine arts program required many hours of work per week in-class and outside of class (studio time). These extended hours, when combined with other courses proved to be overwhelming for me when dealing with anxiety, especially in such a social setting. I plan to drop out of the BFA and switch majors in order to ease the workload. It will be much easier to find motivation when there is less variety in the types of courses I am taking because I will be able to focus more on specific subjects that I find enjoyable. In the BFA, I found non-BFA courses less interesting since they were in no way related to my major, where the majority of the work was. Creative work is still a passion of mine, however, during my time in the BFA program I also came to the realization that visual art is not my best medium. Creative work is usually enjoyable for me, however, I am the type that needs to work creatively in solitude. I am sure that I can study something more appealing to me, while still keeping up with my creative hobbies on the side.
Although I failed the course, I found The Intellectual Origins of the Contemporary West particularly intriguing. This is a course I would most definitely re-take and consider as a field of study. My academic advisor recommended to me that I take more prerequisite courses in History, to get a better feel for the type of work and follow up on my curiosity. I am a strong believer in doing what you are naturally good at. During those occasions where I was able to focus and engage myself in History, even temporarily, I found myself highly interested and eager to learn more.
I have seen steady improvement in my social anxiety after visiting a psychologist at Student Wellness Services. Should I return to Queen¿¿s in the fall, regular appointments will be made in order to keep progressing. My parents have also referred me to their trusted psychiatrist, who I will continue to visit over the summer. So far, visits with the psychiatrist and cognitive behavioural therapy have helped me get over my Olfactory Reference Syndrome, which was the biggest cause of my social anxiety. Also, simple lifestyle implementations such as going for walks in public and practicing breath control have helped me to remain mentally present and cope with anxious thoughts. Through therapy and continued practice of these lifestyle changes, I truly believe that I can be a mobile, present minded and productive student.
Aside from mental health issues, there are still many changes that need to be made to my academic plan. A change in majors would not only give me a fresher outlook on school subjects but also a chance to lighten my workload as I go through therapy. The fine arts program required many hours of work per week in-class and outside of class (studio time). These extended hours, when combined with other courses proved to be overwhelming for me when dealing with anxiety, especially in such a social setting. I plan to drop out of the BFA and switch majors in order to ease the workload. It will be much easier to find motivation when there is less variety in the types of courses I am taking because I will be able to focus more on specific subjects that I find enjoyable. In the BFA, I found non-BFA courses less interesting since they were in no way related to my major, where the majority of the work was. Creative work is still a passion of mine, however, during my time in the BFA program I also came to the realization that visual art is not my best medium. Creative work is usually enjoyable for me, however, I am the type that needs to work creatively in solitude. I am sure that I can study something more appealing to me, while still keeping up with my creative hobbies on the side.
Although I failed the course, I found The Intellectual Origins of the Contemporary West particularly intriguing. This is a course I would most definitely re-take and consider as a field of study. My academic advisor recommended to me that I take more prerequisite courses in History, to get a better feel for the type of work and follow up on my curiosity. I am a strong believer in doing what you are naturally good at. During those occasions where I was able to focus and engage myself in History, even temporarily, I found myself highly interested and eager to learn more.
I have seen steady improvement in my social anxiety after visiting a psychologist at Student Wellness Services. Should I return to Queen¿¿s in the fall, regular appointments will be made in order to keep progressing. My parents have also referred me to their trusted psychiatrist, who I will continue to visit over the summer. So far, visits with the psychiatrist and cognitive behavioural therapy have helped me get over my Olfactory Reference Syndrome, which was the biggest cause of my social anxiety. Also, simple lifestyle implementations such as going for walks in public and practicing breath control have helped me to remain mentally present and cope with anxious thoughts. Through therapy and continued practice of these lifestyle changes, I truly believe that I can be a mobile, present minded and productive student.
Documentation
Professional Letter Detail: NO DOC