Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: To the Associate Dean (Studies),

I am appealing to receive DR designations on my official transcript in respect of the following courses: 2011 Fall: ANAT 215, BIOL 201, BIOL 205, CHEM 112A. 2012 Winter: BIOL 202, BIOL 206, CHEM 112B. 2012 Fall: ANAT 215. 2013 Winter: BIOL 202. 2013 Fall: PSYC 100A. 2014 Winter: PSYC 100B, BIOL 202, BIOL 206. I am also appealing to waive the requirement to withdraw for one year, as my GPA will be sufficiently high to satisfy the conditions for continued study. The basis for my submission is that I have suffered from two undiagnosed psychological conditions. These conditions have caused me to take steps and make decisions that were injurious to my academic career.

As evidenced by the letter from my neurologist Dr. Spacey, I began at Queen's the year after I was diagnosed with cluster headache syndrome. These headaches, which occur in high frequency clusters, are so painful that it is impossible to function mentally or physically while they are occurring. Once they are done they leave me feeling exhausted. The combination of cluster headaches and the fact that I was suffering from undiagnosed severe anxiety and depression was extremely disabling.

I have commenced treatment for severe General Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I am currently under the care of Dr. Mary Ross, a registered psychologist in Vancouver. I have asked Dr. Ross to provide the university with a letter containing a diagnosis of my conditions, treatment recommendations and prognosis. The following provides a timeline as to how these conditions affected my academic behaviour in regards to the courses I am appealing.

2011 Fall

The semester started well. I regularly attended labs and classes and performed well on tested material. In the second half of the semester I started to experience cluster headaches. Following my first absences from labs, I notified my TAs and the lab coordinators. I was severely anxious about addressing the issue of my headaches with my classmates and instructors. I found it very difficult to articulate the nature of the headaches I suffered from although intellectually I could appreciate that they were not my fault. After missing a second lab and realizing the amount of work that I had missed coupled with having to explain my absences to my peers, the thought of attending the labs became a obstacle. I ceased contact with my TAs and lab coordinators even as my headaches lessened because I could not explain the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that the thought of dealing with the lab caused in me. The shame I felt for missing even more labs and classes, and feeling completely unable to remedy the situation, even though I could see the irrationality of my apprehensions, compounded my emotional condition. The feeling of complete helplessness was so alarming to me that I regularly suffered from panic attacks thinking about it. The longer I spent without attending labs or classes only heightened my anxiety about what would happen if I did suddenly show up, without any way to explain to instructors or classmates why I was missing classes when I no longer was suffering from any physical ailment. As things began to unravel I proceeded to miss quizzes, lab reports, lab practicals, block tests, exams, and could barely bring myself to look at my course materials. The thought of having to admit my perceived failure and inadequacy to anyone, and even myself, made it seem both impossible and pointless to contact my professor or TA for help.

2012 Winter

I attended the first week of class, but when several classmates began to ask and joke about where I had been during the last semester I began to dread attending classes and the anxiety when being reminded of the previous semester's courses would leave me feeling physically ill. I stopped attending class, but continued following along with the online lecture slides and readings. I worked hard to prepare for the Biology 202 midterm exam but the thought of arriving at the lecture hall and even acknowledging to everyone there that I was indeed enrolled in this class and imagining their reactions and comments upon seeing me was too much to bear. I missed the midterm exam, but could not explain to anyone why I had as I had not even begun to identify that it was anxiety that I was experiencing. I felt completely paralyzed and proceeded to miss the larger tests for Biology 206 as well. I stopped attending labs entirely. I studied hard to cover the material I had missed in class to prepare for the Biology 202 final exam, which I had convinced myself that I would attend, and felt well prepared in the days prior to the exam. It was only in the hours immediately preceding the exam that the thoughts of what the professor and my classmates would think upon seeing me after having been absent for so long became completely overwhelming - I stayed in the library where I had been reviewing my notes for the duration of the exam.

2012 Fall/2013 Winter

I registered for only three courses during this year, but I was so completely overcome by anxiety at this point that it was a conscious struggle to open Moodle or my webmail for fear of what I would find. The thought of attending class or labs, and having my instructors from the previous year recognize me, and my lack of previous attendance, was too stressful to even consider. When I saw several younger friends of mine who knew I had taken Anatomy 215 the previous year in class, I could no longer bring myself to attend. When I saw that it was the same TA from Biology 202 as the year before, and with her questioning as to why I was back as I had not done exceedingly poorly in her labs, I felt such immediate shame and humiliation that it became too much to even look at my lab manual. I became severely depressed when seeing the material and slides that I had already reviewed, and relived the same shame that had been present the year prior. I eventually chose to try and forget that I was even enrolled in the courses at all, as it was too mentally and emotionally painful to do otherwise.

2013 Fall/2014 Winter

This year was especially distressing to me because of its strong start; I spoke to an academic counsellor and was determined to succeed academically and leave my past failures behind me, and would then begin to formulate a plan for the future. I scored well in all of my courses during the first half of the first semester. Part way through the semester I began to experience a very difficult cluster of headaches. Initially I informed my TAs that I was suffering from headaches, but as I proceeded to miss several labs consecutively I quickly returned to feeling completely helpless and full of despair. Had I been able to evaluate the situation logically, I now realize I could have easily succeeded in the first semester and potentially in the full year. Instead I fell into deep despair to the point where I could not even think about the courses or my future. I stopped attending labs and tests as the thought of being asked about anything academic made it feel like my world might shatter. My limited academic successes throughout these past years can all be attributed to courses that provide most of their information in the online resources, and do not have mandatory tutorials or labs - I could complete these courses while avoiding the intense anxiety that classrooms would induce.

I feel a new sense of hope for the future now that I have begun to realize that I can overcome anxiety and depression and regain my ability to perform academically and interpersonally. I truly believe that with continued treatment and support I will be able to perform at the high potential that I know I am capable of. I do feel that being able to take one or two courses by distance will be very beneficial to me on a number of levels and will permit me to rebuild confidence in my abilities. Please give me the chance to do so.

If there are any further inquiries or if additional information is needed from Dr. Ross please let me know at your earliest convenience. I apologize for the lengthy appeal, but I felt it was necessary considering the span of time and courses being appealed. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.