Submit an Academic Petition or Appeal

Petition Letter: I am appealing PHYS 117 due to anxiety and depression. In grade 11, my school counselor told me I had severe depression and moderate anxiety but that meeting was our last due to the pandemic. I always relate my worth to my grades as I think my whole family will think I am a failure if I have low grades. Ultimately, I did nothing further to help solve it as the school workload got easier with two classes and I buried myself in work to ignore everything wrong.
This year, my anxiety and depression came back and worse than before. At home, I had three cats and one specifically would calm me down when I was panicking or crying. Here, I didn't have him to calm me down. I wouldn't want to burden my friends with my emotions because I thought they would get annoyed and so I kept it to myself. I didn't know what to do. I would go to my dorm to stare at my work and wonder why I was here and if I even deserved it.
October 30th was my lowest day. My mom called me and told me my cat, Simba, passed away due to a heart attack. He was the one who calmed me down when I needed it, who would stay with me when I cried. I couldn't be in my dorm, every second I was in there, I would cry and wonder why I wasn't there when he needed me like he was for me. School that week was hard, in my one class I was reading about what caused his passing. This was an issue as I could not focus on anything other than that.
Exams terrified me, all I could think about failing and letting my whole family down. In highschool, physics was my lowest grade. I thought I needed physics which was why I took it. I knew that I would not do great in physics but I continued taking it because I did not want people to think I am weak for dropping a class, I also didn't want my family to look down on me. In my eyes, dropping physics was not an option even though my brain was holding me back so I continued, I felt like I was back in grade 11 with my lowest feeling. In a cycle I couldn't break.
Second semester came and I was at home, I felt I was a shadow of the person I used to be. I didn't feel like I belonged at home but I didn't at school either. That made it hard. I didn't know where or who I was meant to be. I continued to keep that in, adding to the pressure I felt each and every day. Living in a room that felt like it belonged to a stranger when it actually belonged to me.
13 years ago, my parents got divorced and in grade 3 my dad abandoned me and my sister. My mom never told me anything about him. A week before I went back to school, my aunt told me I have two half siblings and more. I got told I was not allowed to tell anyone I knew about this as it was not her place to tell me. I did not know what to do, I couldn't tell my parents what I knew, or my siblings so I once again held it in.
I felt trapped once again in my dorm when I came back. I was in a cycle of bad grades over bad grades, bad news over bad news. I felt alone. I just wanted to lie in bed and let it pass. I felt numb. Physics was the worst for me, it was one class I made my mind up about in grade 11. I kept telling myself no matter what you will fail, you suck, etc. I would do the assignments and have a panic attack in the middle knowing the outcome but thinking I would be a disappointment. I knew I should have dropped the class, I felt it, I saw my grades dropping, I knew I couldn't handle it but I thought I was weak, I thought I was just over exaggerating, that my mental health was fine. It wasn't fine, I wasn't fine but I thought I needed to continue.
Ultimately, this is not the first time my anxiety and depression have been hard to manage but this is the worst it has ever been. I did not know or ask about the right programs that would help me get the help I need. This caused my grades to drop and impacted me as I see the grades and my gpa as my worth. I understand the university transition is hard and grades will drop but I do believe my grades were a product of my mental health issues and I was not able to escape my issues to truly put my best foot forward and get the grades I know I could get.
This summer, I am going to finally start talking to someone about my mental health issues and get the help I need. I am not going to take the course again as I tried but it was a reminder that I failed myself and I still look at it as my self worth. Next year, I will take courses I know I can handle and take an extra two classes to get the credits I missed that will also help my gpa and allow me to work towards something I love. I will use the Queen??s programs provided that help with my situations and file for an academic consideration to help me with my mental health issues. I never knew about the programs this year but in the future, I know they will help me with this exact problem.