Petition Letter
My extenuating circumstances are mental and physical illnesses. My physical illness started in the summer of 2017 and was diagnosed in the 2017-18 winter. I started getting treatment in 2018 winter up until the present. My illness has been in remission (symptoms have gotten better) between 2018 summer and 2019 summer, and Winter 2022 to the present. My mental illness started in 2017-18 winter in line with my physical illness. My physical illness is severe ulcerative colitis, and my mental illness is between moderate and major depression and mild-moderate anxiety; I am told by both my Psychiatrist and my Gastroenterologist that there is a very strong connection between the gut and the brain, and that my mental and physical illnesses have a strong connection. My mental illness has affected my academic career since 2017-18 winter, however, there have been certain time periods where I have sought help and been able to deal with it a little better; these time periods were 2018 fall, and 2019 May-September.
My mental and physical illnesses have caused major distress in my life at very unpredictable times; therefore, circumstances are slightly different for the different courses I am asking to be removed from my transcript. The reason I am asking to remove the Fall 2022 courses and the Winter 2023 course is because my depression was at its worst during this time. Throughout the first couple weeks my suicidal thoughts started to come back; by the end of September, I was having suicidal thoughts every day, and had stopped doing any course work. In October 2022 I finally saw a psychiatrist and told them everything, but within a few weeks I had regressed again and stopped returning their calls and taking the medication. By November 2022 I was starting to make suicidal plans and did not care about school at all. I was lying to everyone around me that things were going well, because I wanted the last months with them to be as wonderful as possible. Over a period of months (November 2022-April 1, 2023) I kept making up more lies about school and work so that I could spend more time with them, however this only made me become more depressed, and made the suicidal plans become a reality on March 31st, 2023, when I attempted to end my life.
The reason my depression became so bad during this time is for multiple reasons. I had been having on and off suicidal thoughts since winter 2017-18 that I had only ever told my family doctor about once in winter 2020, I started to realize that my lifelong goal of becoming a teacher was going to fail due to all the fails on my transcript, and I had been lying to everyone I care about in my life, telling them that I am fine and that I would be applying to teacher??s college this year (December 2022) and going to teacher??s college in September 2023. Now that Fall 2022 was here my lies would soon come to an end, and my family, my friends, my partner, and everyone else would know that I had failed, and that I had lied to them.
On my record you will see that I have requested to have courses taken off my transcript twice before for similar reasons, however after getting the courses removed, I didn??t understand the extent to my mental health illness and did not have a big enough support system. The difference this time around is that I have a much bigger support system, and I am no longer letting my shame stop me from asking for help when needed.
You may notice that 4 of the courses I am petitioning to drop are beyond the one year deadline. The reason I did not appeal the (3) 2019 courses is because the academic counselor at the time informed me that if I redo the courses and get a better mark, the F??s would go off my transcript anyways. However I never went back in person to Queen??s in person, and therefore was not able to retake Hist 267 and Hist 219. Math 225 I retook, however as mentioned above, my mental health was on the decline. For Hist 211, my mental health was also on the decline, and my physical health was just starting to re-recover.
My plan for academic success in the future involves a support system in my personal life, a support system for my mental and physical illnesses, and a support system for my academics. I have been strengthening my personal support system immensely since my attempt on April 1st. On my first day in the emergency room when my family and friends visited me, I told them the truth about everything, including my personal, medical, and academic struggles and failures. Since then, I have been having regular mental health talks with my parents, my friends, and my partner, to make sure I am not going to go down into darkness again. My medical support system has also grown very big in a short amount of time. I was referred to my psychiatrist who has given me medication and been in touch with me regularly over phone and email. I have been in touch regularly with my Gastroenterologist who makes sure my blood tests are coming back okay. I have started weekly therapy sessions, and I have also been referred to a Day treatment program at centenary hospital for which I went every weekday for 3 weeks and now am going 2 days a week for 3 weeks. As for my academic plan, if all continues to improve with my mental health and support systems, I will be ready to take a reduced course load provided I have the right support. I am planning on taking my last 3 courses online, so that I can be close to my personal support system at home, I am going to connect with tutors either at queens or in Toronto that can help guide me through my course work, and I will be doing weekly therapy sessions to help with my mental health illness.
One of the best changes for me is that since April 1st I have been able to maintain healthy eating, sleeping, and exercise habits, while also finally doing what I feared most and looking at my academic transcripts. What I found is that without the F??s on my transcript, my marks are already high enough to get into several teacher??s colleges So now I am trying to maximize the chances of getting into these colleges and the biggest step towards that goal is to get the Fs off my transcript so that I stand a chance when I apply to teacher??s college.
My mental and physical illnesses have caused major distress in my life at very unpredictable times; therefore, circumstances are slightly different for the different courses I am asking to be removed from my transcript. The reason I am asking to remove the Fall 2022 courses and the Winter 2023 course is because my depression was at its worst during this time. Throughout the first couple weeks my suicidal thoughts started to come back; by the end of September, I was having suicidal thoughts every day, and had stopped doing any course work. In October 2022 I finally saw a psychiatrist and told them everything, but within a few weeks I had regressed again and stopped returning their calls and taking the medication. By November 2022 I was starting to make suicidal plans and did not care about school at all. I was lying to everyone around me that things were going well, because I wanted the last months with them to be as wonderful as possible. Over a period of months (November 2022-April 1, 2023) I kept making up more lies about school and work so that I could spend more time with them, however this only made me become more depressed, and made the suicidal plans become a reality on March 31st, 2023, when I attempted to end my life.
The reason my depression became so bad during this time is for multiple reasons. I had been having on and off suicidal thoughts since winter 2017-18 that I had only ever told my family doctor about once in winter 2020, I started to realize that my lifelong goal of becoming a teacher was going to fail due to all the fails on my transcript, and I had been lying to everyone I care about in my life, telling them that I am fine and that I would be applying to teacher??s college this year (December 2022) and going to teacher??s college in September 2023. Now that Fall 2022 was here my lies would soon come to an end, and my family, my friends, my partner, and everyone else would know that I had failed, and that I had lied to them.
On my record you will see that I have requested to have courses taken off my transcript twice before for similar reasons, however after getting the courses removed, I didn??t understand the extent to my mental health illness and did not have a big enough support system. The difference this time around is that I have a much bigger support system, and I am no longer letting my shame stop me from asking for help when needed.
You may notice that 4 of the courses I am petitioning to drop are beyond the one year deadline. The reason I did not appeal the (3) 2019 courses is because the academic counselor at the time informed me that if I redo the courses and get a better mark, the F??s would go off my transcript anyways. However I never went back in person to Queen??s in person, and therefore was not able to retake Hist 267 and Hist 219. Math 225 I retook, however as mentioned above, my mental health was on the decline. For Hist 211, my mental health was also on the decline, and my physical health was just starting to re-recover.
My plan for academic success in the future involves a support system in my personal life, a support system for my mental and physical illnesses, and a support system for my academics. I have been strengthening my personal support system immensely since my attempt on April 1st. On my first day in the emergency room when my family and friends visited me, I told them the truth about everything, including my personal, medical, and academic struggles and failures. Since then, I have been having regular mental health talks with my parents, my friends, and my partner, to make sure I am not going to go down into darkness again. My medical support system has also grown very big in a short amount of time. I was referred to my psychiatrist who has given me medication and been in touch with me regularly over phone and email. I have been in touch regularly with my Gastroenterologist who makes sure my blood tests are coming back okay. I have started weekly therapy sessions, and I have also been referred to a Day treatment program at centenary hospital for which I went every weekday for 3 weeks and now am going 2 days a week for 3 weeks. As for my academic plan, if all continues to improve with my mental health and support systems, I will be ready to take a reduced course load provided I have the right support. I am planning on taking my last 3 courses online, so that I can be close to my personal support system at home, I am going to connect with tutors either at queens or in Toronto that can help guide me through my course work, and I will be doing weekly therapy sessions to help with my mental health illness.
One of the best changes for me is that since April 1st I have been able to maintain healthy eating, sleeping, and exercise habits, while also finally doing what I feared most and looking at my academic transcripts. What I found is that without the F??s on my transcript, my marks are already high enough to get into several teacher??s colleges So now I am trying to maximize the chances of getting into these colleges and the biggest step towards that goal is to get the Fs off my transcript so that I stand a chance when I apply to teacher??s college.