Petition Letter
533 Fraser Street
Pembroke, ON K8A 1Z2
Barbergolf3@gmail.com
April 30th, 2024
Associate Dean (Academic)
Queen’s University
99 University Ave
Kingston, ON K7L 3N6
Dear Associate Dean (Academic),
I am writing to petition the decision regarding my academic record, specifically to drop courses PHGY 216 (Winter, 2023) and EMPR 200 (Winter, 2023) and to receive credit standing in STAM 200 (Winter, 2023). My request is motivated by significant and longstanding mental health challenges that have profoundly impacted my ability to perform academically.
My mental illness has been present for such a lifetime (as far back as I can remember), hindering my will to live life. Anxiety and depression significantly impact my ability to focus and complete schoolwork at a normal level. In February of 2024, I was re-diagnosed by the Royal Ottawa with generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and social anxiety disorder, after a previous diagnosis in 2020. I was referred to the Ontario Structured Psychotherapy Program in February and will be starting shortly. As of December 2023, I am attending weekly counseling meetings with a social worker and taking fluoxetine medication to combat anxiety and depression.
One may wonder why I haven’t addressed the mental illness sooner in my life. I can say that it's been a very tough 22 years of living. Dating back to my diagnosis in 2020, I tried several medications, but I realize now I need more support. As I mention below, my current girlfriend has genuinely brought me to the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life, allowing me to benefit from medication and therapy that I will very shortly be receiving. I believe I was in too rough of circumstances back in 2020 to benefit from medication (hence why I didn’t progress) and was blind to the fact that therapy would help. As I also state below, being with a horrible ex-girlfriend from 2021-2023 only brought me down. I was too anxious to recognize my self-worth and stuck around in a toxic relationship. In a positive light, I am now aware of a proper relationship and will not allow myself to conform to toxicity.
In 2023, as the winter term progressed, the weight of my illness reached an unsustainable peak. Despite earlier course drops, I realized that even a partial workload was beyond my capacity. This realization prompted my withdrawal from studies as a protective measure to prevent further harm. I pushed myself to the limits of my mental and physical endurance during my time at Queen’s. By the winter term of 2023, my mental health had deteriorated significantly, leading to my decision to leave my studies.
I thought all such symptoms I was experiencing were part of life. Intense anxiety dating back to when I was a kid, I believe was the start. Little did I know I was struggling severely. I clung to achieving outstanding marks in highschool as a coping mechanism. I attended Queens for 2 years as I thought I was ready, but definitely wasn’t. Drenching my armpits in sweat due to anxiety, constant cold hands and feet, dry eyes, shaking and tense muscles, and severe night sweats throughout each and every day at Queens, I had to abruptly stop the suffering before harming myself became an action to act upon. Going off to school along with a horrible ex-girlfriend at the time only exacerbated the symptoms of my mental illness. At the time I applied to Queens, as I mentioned, I pushed through and ignored the symptoms. It resulted in a poor ability to read, write, and focus in general, and I never knew why. Despite all that, I was still able to achieve a 3.4 GPA through incredible determination, perseverance, and effort. I thought life was supposed to be a terrible struggle. This built-up anxiety has put me into constant fight and panic mode that I battle every moment of the day. I realize now it's not normal to always be in traumatizing fear every second.
I can say that I am on the right track to recovery, a point I’ve never been to in life; I met the greatest person ever during my existence on this earth in September 2023. This girl has shown me what living life is supposed to be like. By being around her so much, I am learning to understand what calmness actually is. To sum it up, she is healing me and I can't thank her enough. I still undergo anxiety shock daily, but can now say I am aware of my symptoms, and won't be making the decisions to progress in life until I am fully ready.
The symptoms I mentioned are still present but are at better levels now. The biggest trait I'm noticing is progressing toward the ability to handle a fast-paced life, something I have never successfully dealt with. I realize this skill is needed to thrive as a student and am very proud of myself to be coming closer to such a goal. I am actually starting a new job as a behavioral intervention worker/academic remediation specialist very soon. Surprisingly, I am excited rather than the regular anxious emotions I endure from working. I believe this employment will improve my health further; helping people is a passion of mine, and will certainly better such depression I possess. I can say I believe in a healthy future, which keeps me going every day. I hope to be healthy as soon as possible but in no rush, so I can reattend Queens with a happy mindset and not feel like I continue to waste my life due to crippling anxiety.
Looking ahead, I am determined to resume my academic pursuit at Queen’s University with a renewed sense of purpose and a comprehensive mental health management strategy. As to my current arrangements, my future plan entails ongoing therapy, medication management, and a commitment to establishing a healthy work-life balance. I strongly believe I now have the capacity that was lacking in 2020 to spread my wings and reach great heights. I believe returning to Queen’s and receiving my request will allow me to reach my full potential which will inspire greatness within myself.
In conclusion, I am committed to enacting meaningful changes to ensure my academic success while prioritizing my mental health and overall well-being. I am hopeful that with your understanding, I can embark on a path toward outstanding academic achievement at Queen’s University.
Thank you for considering my petition.
Sincerely,
Caelan Barber
Pembroke, ON K8A 1Z2
Barbergolf3@gmail.com
April 30th, 2024
Associate Dean (Academic)
Queen’s University
99 University Ave
Kingston, ON K7L 3N6
Dear Associate Dean (Academic),
I am writing to petition the decision regarding my academic record, specifically to drop courses PHGY 216 (Winter, 2023) and EMPR 200 (Winter, 2023) and to receive credit standing in STAM 200 (Winter, 2023). My request is motivated by significant and longstanding mental health challenges that have profoundly impacted my ability to perform academically.
My mental illness has been present for such a lifetime (as far back as I can remember), hindering my will to live life. Anxiety and depression significantly impact my ability to focus and complete schoolwork at a normal level. In February of 2024, I was re-diagnosed by the Royal Ottawa with generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and social anxiety disorder, after a previous diagnosis in 2020. I was referred to the Ontario Structured Psychotherapy Program in February and will be starting shortly. As of December 2023, I am attending weekly counseling meetings with a social worker and taking fluoxetine medication to combat anxiety and depression.
One may wonder why I haven’t addressed the mental illness sooner in my life. I can say that it's been a very tough 22 years of living. Dating back to my diagnosis in 2020, I tried several medications, but I realize now I need more support. As I mention below, my current girlfriend has genuinely brought me to the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life, allowing me to benefit from medication and therapy that I will very shortly be receiving. I believe I was in too rough of circumstances back in 2020 to benefit from medication (hence why I didn’t progress) and was blind to the fact that therapy would help. As I also state below, being with a horrible ex-girlfriend from 2021-2023 only brought me down. I was too anxious to recognize my self-worth and stuck around in a toxic relationship. In a positive light, I am now aware of a proper relationship and will not allow myself to conform to toxicity.
In 2023, as the winter term progressed, the weight of my illness reached an unsustainable peak. Despite earlier course drops, I realized that even a partial workload was beyond my capacity. This realization prompted my withdrawal from studies as a protective measure to prevent further harm. I pushed myself to the limits of my mental and physical endurance during my time at Queen’s. By the winter term of 2023, my mental health had deteriorated significantly, leading to my decision to leave my studies.
I thought all such symptoms I was experiencing were part of life. Intense anxiety dating back to when I was a kid, I believe was the start. Little did I know I was struggling severely. I clung to achieving outstanding marks in highschool as a coping mechanism. I attended Queens for 2 years as I thought I was ready, but definitely wasn’t. Drenching my armpits in sweat due to anxiety, constant cold hands and feet, dry eyes, shaking and tense muscles, and severe night sweats throughout each and every day at Queens, I had to abruptly stop the suffering before harming myself became an action to act upon. Going off to school along with a horrible ex-girlfriend at the time only exacerbated the symptoms of my mental illness. At the time I applied to Queens, as I mentioned, I pushed through and ignored the symptoms. It resulted in a poor ability to read, write, and focus in general, and I never knew why. Despite all that, I was still able to achieve a 3.4 GPA through incredible determination, perseverance, and effort. I thought life was supposed to be a terrible struggle. This built-up anxiety has put me into constant fight and panic mode that I battle every moment of the day. I realize now it's not normal to always be in traumatizing fear every second.
I can say that I am on the right track to recovery, a point I’ve never been to in life; I met the greatest person ever during my existence on this earth in September 2023. This girl has shown me what living life is supposed to be like. By being around her so much, I am learning to understand what calmness actually is. To sum it up, she is healing me and I can't thank her enough. I still undergo anxiety shock daily, but can now say I am aware of my symptoms, and won't be making the decisions to progress in life until I am fully ready.
The symptoms I mentioned are still present but are at better levels now. The biggest trait I'm noticing is progressing toward the ability to handle a fast-paced life, something I have never successfully dealt with. I realize this skill is needed to thrive as a student and am very proud of myself to be coming closer to such a goal. I am actually starting a new job as a behavioral intervention worker/academic remediation specialist very soon. Surprisingly, I am excited rather than the regular anxious emotions I endure from working. I believe this employment will improve my health further; helping people is a passion of mine, and will certainly better such depression I possess. I can say I believe in a healthy future, which keeps me going every day. I hope to be healthy as soon as possible but in no rush, so I can reattend Queens with a happy mindset and not feel like I continue to waste my life due to crippling anxiety.
Looking ahead, I am determined to resume my academic pursuit at Queen’s University with a renewed sense of purpose and a comprehensive mental health management strategy. As to my current arrangements, my future plan entails ongoing therapy, medication management, and a commitment to establishing a healthy work-life balance. I strongly believe I now have the capacity that was lacking in 2020 to spread my wings and reach great heights. I believe returning to Queen’s and receiving my request will allow me to reach my full potential which will inspire greatness within myself.
In conclusion, I am committed to enacting meaningful changes to ensure my academic success while prioritizing my mental health and overall well-being. I am hopeful that with your understanding, I can embark on a path toward outstanding academic achievement at Queen’s University.
Thank you for considering my petition.
Sincerely,
Caelan Barber