Petition Letter
To Dr. Jenn Stephenson. I am petitioning to drop Summer 2023 and Fall 2023 courses as by the time i understood i needed to drop them, I had missed the drop-deadline. I wanted to focus on Spring 2024 courses prior to re-hashing the trauma that caused Fall 2023 to go less-well, and am therefore now submitting it all at once in a petition, and request to waive the petition to withdrawal for one year. I am also requesting Credit stating in GLPH281 but am less in need of this compared to the requests to late drop and to waive the petition to withdrawal for a year. I respect your time, and to avoid over-writing as i normally do, will do my best to explain my request within the recommended word count.
As you may know from past discussions, my journey at Queen’s has not been smooth. I will not go too in-depth on prior to Summer 2023 term but do feel a background is helpful. Since graduating high school in 2020, I have been experiencing what I would argue as the most traumatic few years of my life. In summary, leading up to this most recent school year, I was put into family court with my spouse to advocate for my now stepchildren, of which we have gone thousands of dollars in debt to deal with as family lawyers are costly. It was and has been a high-conflict divorce. Though this is now resolved, it was extremely difficult. Following this, my grandmother (a local student landlord in Kingston) was diagnosed with stage four cancer throughout her body and moved into my family and I’s home in 2021. She required non-stop care, and due to my mother being in college to help better our family's lives, I became my grandmother’s primary caregiver. I took care of her upwards of eight hours a day. She passed towards the end of 2021. My grandmother and I were extremely close, and the death took a large toll. Immediately following that, my spouse’s father passed and we had to drive to Oshawa and deal with the estate/cleaning out the house he died in. In the spring of 2022, I was diagnosed with what doctor’s now think was a stomach parasite, where I vomited every hour for months, so much I was hospitalized almost daily to receive IV fluids and investigate. I informed Queen’s, specifically my professors, and did seek help during this difficult time.
Ongoing through 2022 onwards, my sister, who experiences diagnosed bipolar disorder related issues, began creating stress for our family – from flying across the world to meet random men, to stealing from me, breaking into my apartment I had moved into with my spouse, and threatening my family. We felt sympathy for her and were unable to view the situation accurately due to this, and this often-caused harm to me. I had many bills I took out in my name for her to go unpaid, she would steal expensive items from my home, and try to ruin my business on social media. This continued until her and her spouse separated in spring 2023. Due to my inability to see what she was doing to me, I felt sympathy when her spouse left her and her child with one day’s notice and moved into her house. This was supposed to be a win-win situation, in which I would be able to feel less financial strain, and in return help pay bills to her home to lessen the bills on herself.
I moved in in the spring of 2023 and was moved out by July of 2023 due to the abuse that occurred in her home. I was physically hurt, had all of my items including my laptop and all my textbooks that i needed, thrown onto the lawn in the rain. I often phoned for emergency assistance as my safety was not present. She completely trashed the home, stole my items, allowed young teenagers into the house to party (I notified parents) and was an overall abusive person to live with. I did not feel safe, as she would physically become aggressive. I did have her assist me with citations in a class last year, of which she reported it to Queen’s as plagiarism – as another way to attack my life. My sister, to this day, I will state wholeheartedly, did not write the essay. I respect Queen’s for dealing with the situation as they did, as they do not know the Ins and Outs of what occurred in that home. I was very unaware having citation help was against what was allowed, as everyone I know uses citation producing websites. I, however, will take accountability for this and re-wrote my work and did my best to finish the class regardless to get through the situation. My sister specifically lied to my own school, something she knows is all that is motivating me to continue working on my future and the rest of my life, it hurts me. She made fun of what she did, acknowledged she lied multiple times, and did not care. I moved on, beginning to work on my education. I had to emergency move out from her house in July 2023, and moved to different apartments until end of July of 2023/Early August 2023 until I found the current condo I reside in. My sister traumatized me, to the point I began seeking therapy. I do not want the trauma from her to continue to hurt my educational goals, and that has all it has done since 2021. I have been unable to see that until this past year. I went no contact with her, for the most part, until she had a crisis in the Fall of 2023 where she was notified her landlord would be kicking her out. I was in an emotionally vulnerable state as my sister has a child whom I am incredibly close with, and therefore often do things for her to help my nephew. I helped her, and committed to driving my nephew to pre-school and her to work so she can obtain full time employment and my nephew can receive an education. This commitment was meant to be short term, and she began overusing this and expected me to do it ongoing. My sister became abusive again, and I have ended my relationship with her since. My sister and I do not speak now, except for emergencies only. nephew, thankfully, is currently living with his father in Quebec, as he is stable and has a safe home.
My sister, from what I do know, is seeking mental health treatment for the first time. I understand my writing to you may come across as messy, but it is not intended to be. I have spent my entire life picking up the pieces from my older sister, who has done nothing but hurt me intentionally. I have allowed her to abuse me, use me, report me wrongfully to the police to arrest me, try to ruin my education, steal my phone, money, financial health, and mental health.
The trauma from living with my sister completely ruined my Summer of 2023 and Fall of 2023 semester. This is not what I wanted and was not what I expected to happen. This was not the type of student I wanted to be, and I did not want my sister to once again have so much power over me that my education was taken away.
If I am required to withdrawal, I will not be able to return. As someone who is actively helping my mental health and overcoming hurdles my sister’s abuse created, having symbolism her abuse has hurt me so much that i am forced to leave the only thing motivating me to get through what she did, will greatly hurt my mental health and restart my journey in healing. It is not what is best for me, and I am doing my best to explain why that is. I have committed myself through work to be enrolled in courses in September, and if I am not, will be unwell financially. Seeking employment is greatly difficult where I live and finding full-time work to cover what OSAP and educational local grants were helping with will be nearly impossible this quickly; on top of what will be an unwell mental health from what i view as my sister getting exactly what she has attempted to do for three years; get me kicked out of school.
I will attach the letter from my therapist, a letter from Jenna from January discussing my education, but do encourage that you can verify that I have been in heavy contact to utilize Queen’s support systems ongoing to ensure my success. I am doing well in school now, have been doing much better, and will continue to only improve. I am afraid of the repercussions and setbacks that withdrawaling will create due to my disability and complicated life circumstances. I am a first generation, low-income student with family who does not understand the importance of seeking education higher than high-school, so everything I do is self-motivated. I do fully recognize I will likely be unable to go back if forced to withdrawal for any period of time, due to family dynamic and financial reasons; along with the impact it would have on my mental health that I have been working so hard at bettering.
I will attach some proof of my sister's abuse to verify its legitimacy.
Please contact me if you need more documentation, as I will provide all the documentation to show my level of seriousness and honesty in this letter. I can expand on the academic plan, how withdrawing would only hurt my educational goals and not provide a break, and how I am thriving in what I am doing now. This letter was creating a lot of anxiety for me, so I have been delayed in important life-related tasks, and therefore do apologize if it is not as professionally written as it should be. It is difficult to bring up the past abuse, as it has created both legal, educational, and emotional concerns wrongfully and I do my best to forget that the person creating these issues exists. I am hoping to get past this, have the courses dropped that will increase my GPA, be given a chance to come back to school and not leave for a year, and continue on my incredibly healthy path of success I have been on this past term and ongoing. I can provide any level of documentation needed in addition to what I have provided.
I respect you, respect Queen’s, and have recently even tried to join clubs to involve myself, such as the accounting club. It was my entire life-goal from a young child to attend the school, and I even attended the enrichment studies program in high-school. I hope to continue my educational journey and walk across the stage in 2025 or 2026 finishing my degree. It will be a first in my family, and something that motivates me to keep trying. I thank you for reading this and apologize if it is too-long or worded poorly. It is my entire life on the line, and due to that a bit stressful of a letter to write. Please reach out if i can provide anything to you further to show my dedication to ensuring my success, as I have so much evidence that I am finally okay, mentally well, and doing better, and to show my success and strides that i have made recently.
I thank you kindly,
Best
Madison.