Petition Letter
I would like to make an appeal to drop ANAT 315 (Fall, 2013). The reason is my belief that my performance was greatly hindered by moderate to severe obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and panic disorder, mental health problems which are present in my immediate family members.
I was diagnosed with OCD as a young child and the disorder slowly progressed as I aged, but was greatly exacerbated as I entered university where I was overwhelmed by big changes in lifestyle, namely higher academic expectations and difficulties with social integration. During my three years at Queen's, I consistently experienced intrusive rumination thought patterns which took up much of my time and gradually made it harder for me to accomplish my daily activities, whether academic, social, or simply taking care of myself. I would lock a door a dozen times before leaving, read passages in a textbook a dozen times even after I understood them, avoid stairs fearing I would slip and fall over the railing, avoid sidewalks fearing a vehicle may swerve and hit me, etc. These obsessions often led to serious panic attacks during periods of evaluation and stress.
In second year, I began seeing a counselor at HCDS and near the end of 2012, I was prescribed an anxiolytic anti-depressant. Unfortunately, this and subsequent medications gave me paradoxical side-effects which worsened my symptoms. During the summer of 2013, I began developing somatic symptoms such as chronic fatigue and debilitating muscle cramping which led to a lack of coordination performing fine motor movements. It was not until April this year that my physiotherapist suggested I suffered from fibromyalgia. At the same time, my current counselling psychologist assessed me and concluded that I have also been suffering from dysthymia in addition to my anxiety disorders.
When I returned to take a full course load in third year, my psychological state was worse than ever. I began to have episodes of depersonalization which impeded my focus during lectures or social situations and began experiencing paralyzing paranoia such as suspecting my housemates were scheming to harm me even though I had no reason to believe so. All this created a great obstacle for me in managing my five courses and even working at my hardest and trying my best to stay organized, I found myself having to compromise time put into one course for another. Reviewing my transcript, I observed that there is a strong correlation between my decreasing grades and my worsening symptoms.
At the end of my third Fall semester, I had to postpone my final exam for ANAT 315 while I completed my other courses. Left with barely enough time to concentrate on four courses, my disruptive symptoms and the memory-intensive nature of anatomy made it difficult for me to adequately learn the material in ANAT 315. Today, I still have yet to complete the final exam and I believe my current average in the course is within the C range. Since I am taking LING 1000, a 6-credit course, at York this summer, this will alleviate credits for my fourth year, and I am hoping to take advantage of this by retaking ANAT 315 in the coming Fall.
Despite the unsuccessful treatment for my symptoms, I have adopted a new set of strategies this summer, starting with regularly seeing a counselling psychologist in Toronto who has helped me challenge myself socially by joining more public events such as clubs and competitions and pushing myself to develop more friendships, even with people with whom I feel incompatible at first. I have also established a regular exercise regime which includes swimming and physiotherapy to combat my somatic symptoms that has also proven to elevate my mood. In addition, I have researched and regularly exercise self-help methods such as cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness and meditation, and other relaxation and focusing techniques.
I am optimistic that my condition will improve if I adhere to this regime which combines professional therapy, mental and physical discipline, as well as any possible medications which a psychiatrist may prescribe in the future. My aspiration is to study speech-language pathology after graduation, a competitive program at most universities that focuses on the grades of the final two years of undergraduate study. I believe that if I was given a chance to retake ANAT 315 in the new semester, I will be able to perform significantly better in this course as well as my other ones due to my new personal coping techniques and support system. This will ultimately improve the competitiveness of my application into S-LP by proving my competency in anatomy, which is fundamental for understanding and treating motor speech disorders.
I was diagnosed with OCD as a young child and the disorder slowly progressed as I aged, but was greatly exacerbated as I entered university where I was overwhelmed by big changes in lifestyle, namely higher academic expectations and difficulties with social integration. During my three years at Queen's, I consistently experienced intrusive rumination thought patterns which took up much of my time and gradually made it harder for me to accomplish my daily activities, whether academic, social, or simply taking care of myself. I would lock a door a dozen times before leaving, read passages in a textbook a dozen times even after I understood them, avoid stairs fearing I would slip and fall over the railing, avoid sidewalks fearing a vehicle may swerve and hit me, etc. These obsessions often led to serious panic attacks during periods of evaluation and stress.
In second year, I began seeing a counselor at HCDS and near the end of 2012, I was prescribed an anxiolytic anti-depressant. Unfortunately, this and subsequent medications gave me paradoxical side-effects which worsened my symptoms. During the summer of 2013, I began developing somatic symptoms such as chronic fatigue and debilitating muscle cramping which led to a lack of coordination performing fine motor movements. It was not until April this year that my physiotherapist suggested I suffered from fibromyalgia. At the same time, my current counselling psychologist assessed me and concluded that I have also been suffering from dysthymia in addition to my anxiety disorders.
When I returned to take a full course load in third year, my psychological state was worse than ever. I began to have episodes of depersonalization which impeded my focus during lectures or social situations and began experiencing paralyzing paranoia such as suspecting my housemates were scheming to harm me even though I had no reason to believe so. All this created a great obstacle for me in managing my five courses and even working at my hardest and trying my best to stay organized, I found myself having to compromise time put into one course for another. Reviewing my transcript, I observed that there is a strong correlation between my decreasing grades and my worsening symptoms.
At the end of my third Fall semester, I had to postpone my final exam for ANAT 315 while I completed my other courses. Left with barely enough time to concentrate on four courses, my disruptive symptoms and the memory-intensive nature of anatomy made it difficult for me to adequately learn the material in ANAT 315. Today, I still have yet to complete the final exam and I believe my current average in the course is within the C range. Since I am taking LING 1000, a 6-credit course, at York this summer, this will alleviate credits for my fourth year, and I am hoping to take advantage of this by retaking ANAT 315 in the coming Fall.
Despite the unsuccessful treatment for my symptoms, I have adopted a new set of strategies this summer, starting with regularly seeing a counselling psychologist in Toronto who has helped me challenge myself socially by joining more public events such as clubs and competitions and pushing myself to develop more friendships, even with people with whom I feel incompatible at first. I have also established a regular exercise regime which includes swimming and physiotherapy to combat my somatic symptoms that has also proven to elevate my mood. In addition, I have researched and regularly exercise self-help methods such as cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness and meditation, and other relaxation and focusing techniques.
I am optimistic that my condition will improve if I adhere to this regime which combines professional therapy, mental and physical discipline, as well as any possible medications which a psychiatrist may prescribe in the future. My aspiration is to study speech-language pathology after graduation, a competitive program at most universities that focuses on the grades of the final two years of undergraduate study. I believe that if I was given a chance to retake ANAT 315 in the new semester, I will be able to perform significantly better in this course as well as my other ones due to my new personal coping techniques and support system. This will ultimately improve the competitiveness of my application into S-LP by proving my competency in anatomy, which is fundamental for understanding and treating motor speech disorders.