Petition Letter
I am writing to you today to appeal respectfully to allow me to return to complete my 3 year B.A. at Queen's in September 2018. After difficult emotional extenuating personal circumstances in the late summer of 2017, and the difficulty I had in coping, my grades in 2017/18 suffered significantly. However, with the recent assistance of my family and doctor, and the passage of time to reflect, I have now resolved my personal issue and feel confident in returning to Queen's and focusing on my studies. I am determined to reclaim my life and succeed at completing my degree. It is my hope you will please grant my appeal to help turn my very emotional personal experience around, so I can move on with my life in a forward direction and a positive way.
I found myself unexpectedly pregnant in late July 2017.
I did not seek counseling at the time. At the time, my decision felt very clear, but after a deep feeling of sadness set in, and as abortion can be a controversial topic, I was scared I could be judged by others, and kept to myself. I tried to cope with my experience and emotions on my own. By keeping my voice to myself, I forced myself to go into a period of concealing my sadness and getting on with my life. I thought I could handle it myself. I did not tell either of my parents. I did not tell any of my close friends. I made a decision to have an abortion, which took place in Toronto at Women's Care Clinic. I went alone and thought once it was over, I would be able to move forward and forget about it. I was wrong. I was unable to work or study through my emotional response after my abortion, I was confused, depressed, had anxiety and was re-living my experience through flashbacks. It was constantly resurfacing and I did not know how to handle it. Using denial and repression, I tried to push down my intolerable emotions surrounding this. Instead, this just made things worse and I suffered in other areas.
My grades in general prior to this circumstance in my life were on an upward trend. While on academic probation, I feel I have learned what my personal strengths are, and have in general made better selections of courses that reflect my interests and abilities. Entrepreneurship in particular has been of great interest to me, and my grades in those courses reflect that. My social science courses have also been interesting and my grades were improving. Math and science are not my strengths. However, immediately following my personal issue, all my grades suffered significantly. I was unable to focus or concentrate, lacked energy and motivation. I was depressed, was in a fog, and did not realize what was happening at the time. I was trying to step back into a normal life and forget about it. But my motivation and ability to study was compromised. The course that was most affected by my inability to focus as a result of my personal circumstance was statistics. I could not face the stress of concentrating on a subject that was so difficult for me. In hindsight, I should have dropped that course in second term. It seems obvious now, however, at the time, I really could not think clearly, and consequently failed the course, which has led me to this second difficult situation.
I informed my doctor of my circumstance in August 2017. She was supportive, but I did not have any other appointments with her as she is located in Aurora, and I was back at school again. I finally told my Mom in May 2018, and that has become the turning point for me. We have sought help and resources together, and I now feel much stronger and focused knowing I have the emotional support of someone who loves me. Being home at this time is also a comfort. While I have been prescribed and have access to anti-depressants, I am not taking them at the moment as I feel well. I also have access to counselling services. I feel relieved I am not keeping this sadness to myself, I have someone to talk to, and I understand to reach out when I need to. I feel that through the summer, I will have the time to refocus from this negative experience. I am enjoying my summer employment and my confidence and energy is building again. I also believe with a smart academic plan, focused on my interests and abilities, I can get back on track to achieve my goal of graduating from Queen's.
Thank you for your attention. I hope I can return to finish my degree.
Sincerely,
Kristen Stewart
I found myself unexpectedly pregnant in late July 2017.
I did not seek counseling at the time. At the time, my decision felt very clear, but after a deep feeling of sadness set in, and as abortion can be a controversial topic, I was scared I could be judged by others, and kept to myself. I tried to cope with my experience and emotions on my own. By keeping my voice to myself, I forced myself to go into a period of concealing my sadness and getting on with my life. I thought I could handle it myself. I did not tell either of my parents. I did not tell any of my close friends. I made a decision to have an abortion, which took place in Toronto at Women's Care Clinic. I went alone and thought once it was over, I would be able to move forward and forget about it. I was wrong. I was unable to work or study through my emotional response after my abortion, I was confused, depressed, had anxiety and was re-living my experience through flashbacks. It was constantly resurfacing and I did not know how to handle it. Using denial and repression, I tried to push down my intolerable emotions surrounding this. Instead, this just made things worse and I suffered in other areas.
My grades in general prior to this circumstance in my life were on an upward trend. While on academic probation, I feel I have learned what my personal strengths are, and have in general made better selections of courses that reflect my interests and abilities. Entrepreneurship in particular has been of great interest to me, and my grades in those courses reflect that. My social science courses have also been interesting and my grades were improving. Math and science are not my strengths. However, immediately following my personal issue, all my grades suffered significantly. I was unable to focus or concentrate, lacked energy and motivation. I was depressed, was in a fog, and did not realize what was happening at the time. I was trying to step back into a normal life and forget about it. But my motivation and ability to study was compromised. The course that was most affected by my inability to focus as a result of my personal circumstance was statistics. I could not face the stress of concentrating on a subject that was so difficult for me. In hindsight, I should have dropped that course in second term. It seems obvious now, however, at the time, I really could not think clearly, and consequently failed the course, which has led me to this second difficult situation.
I informed my doctor of my circumstance in August 2017. She was supportive, but I did not have any other appointments with her as she is located in Aurora, and I was back at school again. I finally told my Mom in May 2018, and that has become the turning point for me. We have sought help and resources together, and I now feel much stronger and focused knowing I have the emotional support of someone who loves me. Being home at this time is also a comfort. While I have been prescribed and have access to anti-depressants, I am not taking them at the moment as I feel well. I also have access to counselling services. I feel relieved I am not keeping this sadness to myself, I have someone to talk to, and I understand to reach out when I need to. I feel that through the summer, I will have the time to refocus from this negative experience. I am enjoying my summer employment and my confidence and energy is building again. I also believe with a smart academic plan, focused on my interests and abilities, I can get back on track to achieve my goal of graduating from Queen's.
Thank you for your attention. I hope I can return to finish my degree.
Sincerely,
Kristen Stewart