Petition Letter
Jessica Serson 10153415
Dear Associate Dean (Studies),
I would like to amend my appeal regarding two of my courses, POLS 385 and POLS 367, now that I have completed 100 of the course work for both of these classes. I would like to request a credit grade for both of these classes. I received confirmation from both Haley Everson and Spring Forsberg that it would be acceptable for me to amend this appeal for new purposes.
If possible, I would like the previous letter that I wrote and the supporting document from Laurie Hooke from Student Wellness Services in Lasalle to be considered alongside this amendment. In addition, please expect a letter from Hannah Peck, who I see regularly, from Student Wellness Services in Lasalle.
Explanation
I continue to struggle with mental health issues and my condition has not improved since last semester. This negatively impacts all aspects of my life including jobs, schoolwork, and social relationships. I find that I struggle to complete tasks and even leave my house due to anxiety and distress, and this has prevented me from succeeding in every aspect of my life. A lot of situations that I am put in due to school exacerbate my anxiety, and make it difficult to perform academically.
I have struggled in a lot of classes due to the prevalence of male professors and male teaching assistants. A lot of my anxiety is related to repeated negative experiences with men, and due to the inescapability of dealing with male authorities in a school environment, this prevents me from speaking in classes, asking for clarification, and going to office hours, among other things. In addition, even though I have accommodations for exams due to anxiety, I was denied the request to have female proctors during exams. The presence of male proctors or male students during exams has, in the past, caused me a lot of attention-consuming anxiety.
When writing my POLS 385 exam on September 5th, I wrote in a room with my male professor and another male student. I left in under 40 minutes.
Impact
I struggled throughout the winter semester with a worsening of depression and anxiety, and it was nearly impossible to attend lectures, focus on material during lectures, do readings, or complete assignments. Every time I sat down to complete readings or work on an assignment, I felt overwhelmed and distressed, and like I needed to run away and escape. This was the case especially regarding POLS 385 as math typically takes me longer to understand, and takes a lot of time for me to work through and understand. Due to my anxiety, it was difficult for me to attend office hours and ask for help and additionally hard to locate tutoring. During the summer, I attempted to find tutoring in Thunder Bay, but there were no female tutors available through Lakehead University, or in the community. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I would not succeed at any of courses, and it was overwhelming to try while I felt that I would fail regardless.
I received a lot of support from Student Wellness Services in Lasalle, which helped me navigate the emotional issues that arose. Hannah was even kind enough to offer periodic phone-counselling appointments when I had to leave Kingston for work. Originally, I was going to remain in Kingston during the summer as an undergraduate research assistant; however, the project struggled financially, and I had to return to a previous government job that I had held in Thunder Bay (unlike a lot of Queen¿¿s students, I don¿¿t have any family financial support and it was necessary for me to find a job). As a result, I was removed from a lot of support, although I am exceedingly grateful for what Hannah was able to offer me.
After I was notified, in June, that my appeal was denied, I attempted to study for the exams to the best of my ability. I was working in a very distressing job (customer service for OSAP ¿¿ ironically), which caused me a lot of anxiety and distress, making it difficult to study successfully. I continued to suffer anxiety when studying, and felt disheartened at the prospect of writing the exams after I had struggled so much in the winter semester.
While I have struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time, this semester was unexpectedly worse than it has been in recent years. This is largely due to an increase in certain personal pressures with which I am unequipped to cope (legal and health issues surrounding regarding my mother, complicated relationship with my mother, stress from estranged family members attempting to contact me, financial pressures, social pressures, and anxiety regarding basically everything that is exacerbated by men). As a result of this, it was more difficult than usual to manage my depression and anxiety while attempting to succeed in school and employment.
What I Have Done to Manage
Support from Student Wellness Services was incredibly helpful in the winter semester. Additionally, I sought counselling from academic counselling to determine my options, and dropped one course to make my course load lighter in an attempt to give myself more time to focus on the courses with which I was struggling. However, it became more challenging due to deteriorating personal situation. Please see my original letter regarding this section for additional details regarding the winter semester.
During the summer, I had some long-distance support from Student Wellness Services, which did somewhat help the situation. I attempted to access walk-in counselling in Thunder Bay, and found that it was not helpful. Other services in Thunder Bay had 12+ month waitlists. Overall, I have tried to find ways of coping with stress, and attempting to complete day-to-day tasks.
Future Plan
For a long time, I¿¿ve known that I made the wrong choice in attending this school; however, I was determined to complete a degree (the fact that credits are not transferrable to many schools is a large part of this). I have only eight classes remaining, and I look forward to leaving this school. As I mentioned in my last letter, due to anxiety, I am constantly planning. My depression tends to worsen in the winter, and my grades in the winter semester are consistently lower than in the fall. I will be taking a full course-load this semester and a lesser course load in the winter in an effort to minimize the negative impact of winter on my mood. I have received a recommendation to speak with a psychiatrist as an out-patient and have a first appointment in two weeks¿¿ time. I will additionally continue to speak with Hannah to manage day-to-day issues. I will be accessing services more frequently through Student Wellness Services this semester, through counselling and psychiatry. I am hopeful that this will help in the future. This semester, I will make sure to be aware of drop dates and attempt to judge my situation within the first couple weeks of class. However, I am also considering leaving school with a BA rather than a BAH. This isn¿¿t what I want to do, or where I want to be. I am absolutely miserable, and it might be better for me to just leave this environment and pursue education at a different school. I will be discussing this further with Hannah and with academic counselling services. Regardless, I will be mindful of drop-dates while considering my options.
Thank you for your time,
Jessica
Please see my original appeal below:
Dear Associate Dean (Studies),
I would like to apply for credit standing in two of my courses, POLS 338 and POLS 358. I would additionally like to apply for aegrotat standing with a credit grade in two of my courses, POLS 385 and POLS 367.
Explanation
I have been dealing with mental health issues for as long as I can remember, and it has negatively impacted my life in every aspect. My mental health issues have both nearly ruined my life and nearly ended my life on multiple occasions in the past seven or eight years. This semester, I was facing a lot of personal pressures regarding family with whom I have attempted to have little to no contact due to past events that were very personally damaging to me. Their attempts to contact me have been detrimental to my capacity to manage depression and anxiety. In addition, I have struggled for years with managing anxiety, depression, and distressing emotions. I find this a lot more difficult in the winter, and I found that during this semester I was not able to manage my habitual distress, and that it spiralled out of control. Due to my personal mental health issues combined with the above mentioned personal issues, I have struggled immensely with my courses this semester. This has left me unable to perform academically to the standard of which I am capable.
In all of my courses this semester, I have been unable to perform to the standard of which I am capable due to my mental health. If my mental health were to have been manageable during this semester, I would have been able to achieve grades similar to those that I achieved last semester. I dropped one course in the hope that it would lighten my course load and thus make it less stressful, and pursued counselling services on campus in an attempt to manage my declining mental health. I am currently unable to complete the final exams in my courses and am asking for aegrotat with credit grade in POLS 367 and POLS 385 as I am currently in ongoing distress and I am unable to resolve my mental health concerns, and do not believe that I will be able to resolve these concerns in the near future. I am unable to deal with my anxiety, depression, or distressing emotions, and I struggle constantly. As such, pushing back the deadlines to write exams would only exacerbate my inability to effectively study for them. I will not be able to study for these exams as I cannot escape from my anxiety which, in some ways, has become situationally attached to these courses.
In regards to POLS 338 and POLS 358, I was similarly unable to perform to the standard of which I am capable due to declining mental health. I have been trying to salvage my grades throughout the entirety of the semester, and I deferred my other two exams in the hope that I would be better able to concentrate on these two. Unfortunately, this was not the case and my mental health prevented me from effectively studying or concentrating while in the exam room. If my mental health were better, I would have performed better. As such, I would like to request a credit standing for both of these courses based on my past grades and the fact that my mental health has declined too rapidly this semester for me to manage.
Impact & Severity
I am extremely unable to manage to stress, and I am unable to deal with unexpected negative circumstances to the point where I feel out of control most of the time. I frequently have panic attacks and this has left me unable to complete most tasks. These are usually triggered by things that are beyond my control, and leave me disoriented and feeling helpless to the point where I am unable to function normally for hours afterwards. This makes it difficult to concentrate in class or while studying. I have difficulty getting out of bed most days as I struggle a lot with anxiety and depression, which has made attending classes difficult. Additionally, I have a lot of anxiety around men due to past violence and abuse, which makes it very difficult for me to speak with professors, as most of my professors have been male. I attempt to avoid men because of my anxiety. For example, everywhere I go (dentist, QSASS, hairdressers, etc.), I specifically request women and if that is not an option I forgo those services. As such, when I want to clarify course material or discuss assignments, it is very challenging and emotionally exhausting for me. This has had an impact on more challenging courses where I need greater clarification, such as POLS 385.
What I Have Done to Manage
I was having a difficult time coping with my situation in January, and I made several attempts to mitigate the problems. I made the difficult decision to drop one of my five courses in January with the hope that only taking four courses would make it easier to manage. I sought help from counselling in Lasalle Hall, as I have in previous years, to try and manage my emotions and anxiety. However, as the semester progressed, I had an increasingly difficult time completing the most basic tasks and it became nearly impossible to complete course work, go to my job, or even clean my house. I was determined to get through the semester as I have a lot of anxiety about jeopardizing my academic record and thereby all future pursuits. However, my decisions were not made in consultation with counselling and I did not realize that my situation had gotten so severe that by not dropping courses, or having some other intervention, I was jeopardizing my academic record as I was not able to push through my problems.
I have been registered with Accessibility Services since the fall of this year. Through this, I have received accommodated examinations which have helped as I have less anxiety outside of large crowds, and has been effective for managing panic attacks during exams thanks to the added writing time. This was effective to a point last semester. I had an experience where a professor neglected to collect my final exam from the exams office last semester and accused me of not writing the exam until I begged that he double-check. At that point, he found my exam and I received an A in the course (POLS 384); however, this experience gave me a lot of anxiety about writing accommodated exams this semester. I felt that it was a difficult decision between anxiety of being in crowds or the anxiety of some similar problem with a professor occurring. This has been an additional source of anxiety. While Accessibility Services has for the most part been helpful in dealing with exams, due to the specified nature of some of my anxieties, there are many problems that affect me and my ability to complete coursework that have (understandably) not been resolved (e.g. anxiety due to men ¿¿ male professors). This is something that I wish to work on with the help of counselling services in Lasalle.
Future Plan
In regards to future plans, I have thought about the situation endlessly and what I could have done to prevent it getting to this point. I am constantly planning ahead because I have a very hard time dealing with anxiety, so it is hard to avoid thinking about upcoming potential problems. I have found it to be too overwhelming to deal with five courses and work outside of school at same time. In an effort to combat this, I enrolled (a couple of months ago) to take online courses during the summer to diminish my workload during the school year. It is my hope that this will make the work easier to manage and less overwhelming so that I can deal with my personal problems without the added stress of being overwhelmed by schoolwork. I will be seeing Hannah and Laurie at counselling services in Lasalle Hall in order to manage my personal problems. Additionally, I have been contacted with community counselling services through Kingston General Hospital after being taken to emergency by police earlier this week. I am hoping that the combination of support will help me to improve my situation. In May, I will also be seeing Dr. Duffy, a psychiatrist in Lasalle, for the first time. I received a referral to her at the beginning of April, and I am hoping to gain more insight into my situation and assistance from meeting with her. In the future, I will make sure to be aware of drop dates and try to accurately judge, with the help of counselling services, whether I should be dropping courses if I am unable to manage in the future.
Thank you for your time,
Jessica Dawn Serson 10153415
Please see the additional information that I emailed regarding my original appeal:
Dear Associate Dean (Studies) and the Appeals Office,
I recently was informed of grades that I received in my classes, and I was very surprised. I have been meeting with Tess Grant (occupational therapist in Lasalle) in conjunction with other counselling services and she assisted me in contacting Haley Everson in the Faculty office who recommended that I write to clarify further regarding my appeal in light of the news of my grades. I appreciate that your office is very busy, and I appreciate the communication to me regarding my appeal. I would please like my appeal process to take the following as further explanation of my situation.
Firstly, I was very shocked to hear that I had succeeded in two of my courses (POLS 338 and POLS 358). I have struggled for this entire semester, and received some low grades in both of those classes. While trying to study I dealt with panic attacks and frequently felt overwhelmed to the extent that I was not able to complete work to the standards to which I am capable. Though I am happy to have succeeded in these classes, I know that the work that I did on essays and exams was not great quality. I could have done better, and I have no idea how my performance got me the grades that it did. I found it nearly impossible to study, despite trying very hard. When I wrote my POLS 358 exam, I had a panic attack, and I left the exam in tears. I wrote what I could, but I really felt that I had failed that exam.
While struggling through this semester, I was relieved that some of my classes comprised of material that I had learned either in previous classes or previous work experience or personal interest. This is one of the few ways that I was able to provide decent work for my courses. It was very difficult for me to study, attend classes, or complete assignments or essays, so I relied a lot on previous knowledge where I could. This particularly helped in POLS 358 which covered a lot of material that had been introduced to me in POLS 250, POLS 262, and POLS 333. Thankfully, this seemed to help later in the course with my second essay, and final exam as the latter part of the course stressed material I had learned in these classes. The first part of this course was material that I was not familiar with, and I received a C on the first essay, as I was really incapable of concentrating on my work. Regarding POLS 338 (European Integration), the course had less relation directly to previous courses, but a lot of material taught in political science is Eurocentric in terms of theories and concepts covered, which meant that I could apply vague previous knowledge to material. For example, some material regarding defense agreements and spending was covered in POLS 261, and economic crises were discussed in POLS 262. Other material in that course that I was able to provide is fairly common knowledge, for example, hostility towards immigrants was a large theme in that course and is prevalent in news and attitudes of many people.
Secondly, I had difficulties asking for clarification in POLS 385 due to the professor and all TAs being male. This is a problem that causes a lot of anxiety for me, and proved to be a large obstacle in this course. I additionally wanted to note that in my POLS 385 class, the professor factored in my final exam (which I did not write and was worth 30 of the grade) into the calculation of the grade that is on Solus. Without the exam in my grade it would be a 73 or B-. I don¿¿t trust that the professor will communicate this, and I am attaching screenshots of my grades and my worksheet for figuring out this grade. I believe that this precludes me from requesting credit standing, and I would please like to amend my appeal to aegrotat for this class if that is the case. This class additionally covered material that I am not familiar with at all, and as a result, took a disproportionately large amount of time to attempt to study for this class, which was made even more difficult due to my anxiety and depression. This can be seen as reflected in my grades. Based on the screenshots I am providing, the grades follow my increasing difficulty in completing tasks for my courses.
I am currently not coping with anxiety, and I have a lot of fear for my future academic performance as I am struggling to determine ways to succeed with classes. I do not believe that I am able to complete the remaining two exams as the two that I wrote left me emotionally devastated. I have struggled immensely this entire semester. I have not had struggled to this extent in several years, and I still cannot manage the smallest tasks. I would really appreciate aegrotat in POLS 385 and POLS 367 as I have no idea how I will complete the final exams. I am not in an emotionally stable position, and writing these exams would be stress that I cannot cope with at this point.
Regarding my POLS 367 class, I have no idea what my grade is or how I performed. I only know 20 of my grade, though this class reviewed a lot of material that was covered in POLS 230, as well as being common knowledge (US involvement in the middle east, for example), which allowed me to rely on previous knowledge. I don¿¿t know if I have performed adequately or not, but I struggled with class to the same extent as the rest, and found it impossible to complete.
Thank you for your time, and consideration.
Dear Associate Dean (Studies),
I would like to amend my appeal regarding two of my courses, POLS 385 and POLS 367, now that I have completed 100 of the course work for both of these classes. I would like to request a credit grade for both of these classes. I received confirmation from both Haley Everson and Spring Forsberg that it would be acceptable for me to amend this appeal for new purposes.
If possible, I would like the previous letter that I wrote and the supporting document from Laurie Hooke from Student Wellness Services in Lasalle to be considered alongside this amendment. In addition, please expect a letter from Hannah Peck, who I see regularly, from Student Wellness Services in Lasalle.
Explanation
I continue to struggle with mental health issues and my condition has not improved since last semester. This negatively impacts all aspects of my life including jobs, schoolwork, and social relationships. I find that I struggle to complete tasks and even leave my house due to anxiety and distress, and this has prevented me from succeeding in every aspect of my life. A lot of situations that I am put in due to school exacerbate my anxiety, and make it difficult to perform academically.
I have struggled in a lot of classes due to the prevalence of male professors and male teaching assistants. A lot of my anxiety is related to repeated negative experiences with men, and due to the inescapability of dealing with male authorities in a school environment, this prevents me from speaking in classes, asking for clarification, and going to office hours, among other things. In addition, even though I have accommodations for exams due to anxiety, I was denied the request to have female proctors during exams. The presence of male proctors or male students during exams has, in the past, caused me a lot of attention-consuming anxiety.
When writing my POLS 385 exam on September 5th, I wrote in a room with my male professor and another male student. I left in under 40 minutes.
Impact
I struggled throughout the winter semester with a worsening of depression and anxiety, and it was nearly impossible to attend lectures, focus on material during lectures, do readings, or complete assignments. Every time I sat down to complete readings or work on an assignment, I felt overwhelmed and distressed, and like I needed to run away and escape. This was the case especially regarding POLS 385 as math typically takes me longer to understand, and takes a lot of time for me to work through and understand. Due to my anxiety, it was difficult for me to attend office hours and ask for help and additionally hard to locate tutoring. During the summer, I attempted to find tutoring in Thunder Bay, but there were no female tutors available through Lakehead University, or in the community. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I would not succeed at any of courses, and it was overwhelming to try while I felt that I would fail regardless.
I received a lot of support from Student Wellness Services in Lasalle, which helped me navigate the emotional issues that arose. Hannah was even kind enough to offer periodic phone-counselling appointments when I had to leave Kingston for work. Originally, I was going to remain in Kingston during the summer as an undergraduate research assistant; however, the project struggled financially, and I had to return to a previous government job that I had held in Thunder Bay (unlike a lot of Queen¿¿s students, I don¿¿t have any family financial support and it was necessary for me to find a job). As a result, I was removed from a lot of support, although I am exceedingly grateful for what Hannah was able to offer me.
After I was notified, in June, that my appeal was denied, I attempted to study for the exams to the best of my ability. I was working in a very distressing job (customer service for OSAP ¿¿ ironically), which caused me a lot of anxiety and distress, making it difficult to study successfully. I continued to suffer anxiety when studying, and felt disheartened at the prospect of writing the exams after I had struggled so much in the winter semester.
While I have struggled with anxiety and depression for a long time, this semester was unexpectedly worse than it has been in recent years. This is largely due to an increase in certain personal pressures with which I am unequipped to cope (legal and health issues surrounding regarding my mother, complicated relationship with my mother, stress from estranged family members attempting to contact me, financial pressures, social pressures, and anxiety regarding basically everything that is exacerbated by men). As a result of this, it was more difficult than usual to manage my depression and anxiety while attempting to succeed in school and employment.
What I Have Done to Manage
Support from Student Wellness Services was incredibly helpful in the winter semester. Additionally, I sought counselling from academic counselling to determine my options, and dropped one course to make my course load lighter in an attempt to give myself more time to focus on the courses with which I was struggling. However, it became more challenging due to deteriorating personal situation. Please see my original letter regarding this section for additional details regarding the winter semester.
During the summer, I had some long-distance support from Student Wellness Services, which did somewhat help the situation. I attempted to access walk-in counselling in Thunder Bay, and found that it was not helpful. Other services in Thunder Bay had 12+ month waitlists. Overall, I have tried to find ways of coping with stress, and attempting to complete day-to-day tasks.
Future Plan
For a long time, I¿¿ve known that I made the wrong choice in attending this school; however, I was determined to complete a degree (the fact that credits are not transferrable to many schools is a large part of this). I have only eight classes remaining, and I look forward to leaving this school. As I mentioned in my last letter, due to anxiety, I am constantly planning. My depression tends to worsen in the winter, and my grades in the winter semester are consistently lower than in the fall. I will be taking a full course-load this semester and a lesser course load in the winter in an effort to minimize the negative impact of winter on my mood. I have received a recommendation to speak with a psychiatrist as an out-patient and have a first appointment in two weeks¿¿ time. I will additionally continue to speak with Hannah to manage day-to-day issues. I will be accessing services more frequently through Student Wellness Services this semester, through counselling and psychiatry. I am hopeful that this will help in the future. This semester, I will make sure to be aware of drop dates and attempt to judge my situation within the first couple weeks of class. However, I am also considering leaving school with a BA rather than a BAH. This isn¿¿t what I want to do, or where I want to be. I am absolutely miserable, and it might be better for me to just leave this environment and pursue education at a different school. I will be discussing this further with Hannah and with academic counselling services. Regardless, I will be mindful of drop-dates while considering my options.
Thank you for your time,
Jessica
Please see my original appeal below:
Dear Associate Dean (Studies),
I would like to apply for credit standing in two of my courses, POLS 338 and POLS 358. I would additionally like to apply for aegrotat standing with a credit grade in two of my courses, POLS 385 and POLS 367.
Explanation
I have been dealing with mental health issues for as long as I can remember, and it has negatively impacted my life in every aspect. My mental health issues have both nearly ruined my life and nearly ended my life on multiple occasions in the past seven or eight years. This semester, I was facing a lot of personal pressures regarding family with whom I have attempted to have little to no contact due to past events that were very personally damaging to me. Their attempts to contact me have been detrimental to my capacity to manage depression and anxiety. In addition, I have struggled for years with managing anxiety, depression, and distressing emotions. I find this a lot more difficult in the winter, and I found that during this semester I was not able to manage my habitual distress, and that it spiralled out of control. Due to my personal mental health issues combined with the above mentioned personal issues, I have struggled immensely with my courses this semester. This has left me unable to perform academically to the standard of which I am capable.
In all of my courses this semester, I have been unable to perform to the standard of which I am capable due to my mental health. If my mental health were to have been manageable during this semester, I would have been able to achieve grades similar to those that I achieved last semester. I dropped one course in the hope that it would lighten my course load and thus make it less stressful, and pursued counselling services on campus in an attempt to manage my declining mental health. I am currently unable to complete the final exams in my courses and am asking for aegrotat with credit grade in POLS 367 and POLS 385 as I am currently in ongoing distress and I am unable to resolve my mental health concerns, and do not believe that I will be able to resolve these concerns in the near future. I am unable to deal with my anxiety, depression, or distressing emotions, and I struggle constantly. As such, pushing back the deadlines to write exams would only exacerbate my inability to effectively study for them. I will not be able to study for these exams as I cannot escape from my anxiety which, in some ways, has become situationally attached to these courses.
In regards to POLS 338 and POLS 358, I was similarly unable to perform to the standard of which I am capable due to declining mental health. I have been trying to salvage my grades throughout the entirety of the semester, and I deferred my other two exams in the hope that I would be better able to concentrate on these two. Unfortunately, this was not the case and my mental health prevented me from effectively studying or concentrating while in the exam room. If my mental health were better, I would have performed better. As such, I would like to request a credit standing for both of these courses based on my past grades and the fact that my mental health has declined too rapidly this semester for me to manage.
Impact & Severity
I am extremely unable to manage to stress, and I am unable to deal with unexpected negative circumstances to the point where I feel out of control most of the time. I frequently have panic attacks and this has left me unable to complete most tasks. These are usually triggered by things that are beyond my control, and leave me disoriented and feeling helpless to the point where I am unable to function normally for hours afterwards. This makes it difficult to concentrate in class or while studying. I have difficulty getting out of bed most days as I struggle a lot with anxiety and depression, which has made attending classes difficult. Additionally, I have a lot of anxiety around men due to past violence and abuse, which makes it very difficult for me to speak with professors, as most of my professors have been male. I attempt to avoid men because of my anxiety. For example, everywhere I go (dentist, QSASS, hairdressers, etc.), I specifically request women and if that is not an option I forgo those services. As such, when I want to clarify course material or discuss assignments, it is very challenging and emotionally exhausting for me. This has had an impact on more challenging courses where I need greater clarification, such as POLS 385.
What I Have Done to Manage
I was having a difficult time coping with my situation in January, and I made several attempts to mitigate the problems. I made the difficult decision to drop one of my five courses in January with the hope that only taking four courses would make it easier to manage. I sought help from counselling in Lasalle Hall, as I have in previous years, to try and manage my emotions and anxiety. However, as the semester progressed, I had an increasingly difficult time completing the most basic tasks and it became nearly impossible to complete course work, go to my job, or even clean my house. I was determined to get through the semester as I have a lot of anxiety about jeopardizing my academic record and thereby all future pursuits. However, my decisions were not made in consultation with counselling and I did not realize that my situation had gotten so severe that by not dropping courses, or having some other intervention, I was jeopardizing my academic record as I was not able to push through my problems.
I have been registered with Accessibility Services since the fall of this year. Through this, I have received accommodated examinations which have helped as I have less anxiety outside of large crowds, and has been effective for managing panic attacks during exams thanks to the added writing time. This was effective to a point last semester. I had an experience where a professor neglected to collect my final exam from the exams office last semester and accused me of not writing the exam until I begged that he double-check. At that point, he found my exam and I received an A in the course (POLS 384); however, this experience gave me a lot of anxiety about writing accommodated exams this semester. I felt that it was a difficult decision between anxiety of being in crowds or the anxiety of some similar problem with a professor occurring. This has been an additional source of anxiety. While Accessibility Services has for the most part been helpful in dealing with exams, due to the specified nature of some of my anxieties, there are many problems that affect me and my ability to complete coursework that have (understandably) not been resolved (e.g. anxiety due to men ¿¿ male professors). This is something that I wish to work on with the help of counselling services in Lasalle.
Future Plan
In regards to future plans, I have thought about the situation endlessly and what I could have done to prevent it getting to this point. I am constantly planning ahead because I have a very hard time dealing with anxiety, so it is hard to avoid thinking about upcoming potential problems. I have found it to be too overwhelming to deal with five courses and work outside of school at same time. In an effort to combat this, I enrolled (a couple of months ago) to take online courses during the summer to diminish my workload during the school year. It is my hope that this will make the work easier to manage and less overwhelming so that I can deal with my personal problems without the added stress of being overwhelmed by schoolwork. I will be seeing Hannah and Laurie at counselling services in Lasalle Hall in order to manage my personal problems. Additionally, I have been contacted with community counselling services through Kingston General Hospital after being taken to emergency by police earlier this week. I am hoping that the combination of support will help me to improve my situation. In May, I will also be seeing Dr. Duffy, a psychiatrist in Lasalle, for the first time. I received a referral to her at the beginning of April, and I am hoping to gain more insight into my situation and assistance from meeting with her. In the future, I will make sure to be aware of drop dates and try to accurately judge, with the help of counselling services, whether I should be dropping courses if I am unable to manage in the future.
Thank you for your time,
Jessica Dawn Serson 10153415
Please see the additional information that I emailed regarding my original appeal:
Dear Associate Dean (Studies) and the Appeals Office,
I recently was informed of grades that I received in my classes, and I was very surprised. I have been meeting with Tess Grant (occupational therapist in Lasalle) in conjunction with other counselling services and she assisted me in contacting Haley Everson in the Faculty office who recommended that I write to clarify further regarding my appeal in light of the news of my grades. I appreciate that your office is very busy, and I appreciate the communication to me regarding my appeal. I would please like my appeal process to take the following as further explanation of my situation.
Firstly, I was very shocked to hear that I had succeeded in two of my courses (POLS 338 and POLS 358). I have struggled for this entire semester, and received some low grades in both of those classes. While trying to study I dealt with panic attacks and frequently felt overwhelmed to the extent that I was not able to complete work to the standards to which I am capable. Though I am happy to have succeeded in these classes, I know that the work that I did on essays and exams was not great quality. I could have done better, and I have no idea how my performance got me the grades that it did. I found it nearly impossible to study, despite trying very hard. When I wrote my POLS 358 exam, I had a panic attack, and I left the exam in tears. I wrote what I could, but I really felt that I had failed that exam.
While struggling through this semester, I was relieved that some of my classes comprised of material that I had learned either in previous classes or previous work experience or personal interest. This is one of the few ways that I was able to provide decent work for my courses. It was very difficult for me to study, attend classes, or complete assignments or essays, so I relied a lot on previous knowledge where I could. This particularly helped in POLS 358 which covered a lot of material that had been introduced to me in POLS 250, POLS 262, and POLS 333. Thankfully, this seemed to help later in the course with my second essay, and final exam as the latter part of the course stressed material I had learned in these classes. The first part of this course was material that I was not familiar with, and I received a C on the first essay, as I was really incapable of concentrating on my work. Regarding POLS 338 (European Integration), the course had less relation directly to previous courses, but a lot of material taught in political science is Eurocentric in terms of theories and concepts covered, which meant that I could apply vague previous knowledge to material. For example, some material regarding defense agreements and spending was covered in POLS 261, and economic crises were discussed in POLS 262. Other material in that course that I was able to provide is fairly common knowledge, for example, hostility towards immigrants was a large theme in that course and is prevalent in news and attitudes of many people.
Secondly, I had difficulties asking for clarification in POLS 385 due to the professor and all TAs being male. This is a problem that causes a lot of anxiety for me, and proved to be a large obstacle in this course. I additionally wanted to note that in my POLS 385 class, the professor factored in my final exam (which I did not write and was worth 30 of the grade) into the calculation of the grade that is on Solus. Without the exam in my grade it would be a 73 or B-. I don¿¿t trust that the professor will communicate this, and I am attaching screenshots of my grades and my worksheet for figuring out this grade. I believe that this precludes me from requesting credit standing, and I would please like to amend my appeal to aegrotat for this class if that is the case. This class additionally covered material that I am not familiar with at all, and as a result, took a disproportionately large amount of time to attempt to study for this class, which was made even more difficult due to my anxiety and depression. This can be seen as reflected in my grades. Based on the screenshots I am providing, the grades follow my increasing difficulty in completing tasks for my courses.
I am currently not coping with anxiety, and I have a lot of fear for my future academic performance as I am struggling to determine ways to succeed with classes. I do not believe that I am able to complete the remaining two exams as the two that I wrote left me emotionally devastated. I have struggled immensely this entire semester. I have not had struggled to this extent in several years, and I still cannot manage the smallest tasks. I would really appreciate aegrotat in POLS 385 and POLS 367 as I have no idea how I will complete the final exams. I am not in an emotionally stable position, and writing these exams would be stress that I cannot cope with at this point.
Regarding my POLS 367 class, I have no idea what my grade is or how I performed. I only know 20 of my grade, though this class reviewed a lot of material that was covered in POLS 230, as well as being common knowledge (US involvement in the middle east, for example), which allowed me to rely on previous knowledge. I don¿¿t know if I have performed adequately or not, but I struggled with class to the same extent as the rest, and found it impossible to complete.
Thank you for your time, and consideration.