Petition Letter
Letter of Appeal
I am seeking an appeal of my grades over the last 3 years at Queens¿¿; I am appealing these grades because during this time I struggled seriously with my mental health, struggles that kept me from my studies and impacted my life outside of school in a very serious way. I feel my poor grades are a reflection of the state of my mental health over this period and not of my academic ability.
I am appealing the following courses from 2017 winter: PHIL 257, POLS 250, RELS 202. I am appealing the following courses from 2017 fall: CLST 200, PHIL 233, PHIL 275, PHIL 257. I am appealing the following courses from the 2018 winter: PHIL 257 PHIL 275, PHIL 329. I am appealing the following courses from the 2018 fall: PHIL 318, PHIL 361. I am appealing the following courses from the 2019 winter: Phil 351, Phil 352. I am appealing these courses on the basis that I was not capable of fulfilling my responsibilities to both school and my self due to my struggles with mental health
I was frequently unable to go to class or actively participate in my studies, despite wanting to correct this behaviour I was not in a place where that was possible, and I had difficulties even getting out of bed or communicating with friends or family. I couldn¿¿t sleep but I was always exhausted, I was depressed and I didn¿¿t know how to get better. My life was not in a place where school could be a priority, I had to put myself first and my struggles with mental health during the last three years has led to a change in my medication, in my personal habits, and to a better understanding of myself and who I want to be. I have seen specialists to help me with what I have struggled with and ensure the correct diagnosis and treatment moving forward. I have been in as consistent communication as I could with Queens¿¿ via my accommodations advisor and meeting with academic advisors to ensure that despite my struggles I wouldn¿¿t be lost to the process of reclaiming my education and myself. In this time I not only worked on improving myself but I also was able to introspectively ask myself what would make me happy and what I really wanted to do in my life and moving forward in school. I have dealt with much of what ailed me in the past and will still be working on cognitive behavioural therapy to deal with my anxiety and depression in real time. I am feeling very healthy and have a much clearer vision of my future ahead of me I feel I am finally capable of returning to studies.
I understand I was able to pass a few classes during these years I am appealing, but the explanation of my passing grades without being arrogant, is that had I been healthy I would have passed the classes I failed and done much better on the classes I passed. It¿¿s hard to pass a class you¿¿re too anxious to attend, or write a paper on the ontological argument when you feel the only miracle in your life is that you¿¿re hanging on. In fact, some of these passing grades where unknown to me before speaking with an appeals advisor and academic advisor previous to this appeal. It was hard for me to even attend exams and there are some classes where I was so depressed I missed exams because I wasn¿¿t capable of pulling myself off of my bedroom floor. I believe I am intelligent and capable of high academic achievement, and my grades before my mental health struggles would suggest the same. I would have been able to experience the natural growth all students experience from first year into second year and so on, but due to my mental health I missed much of what so much of what university is about¿¿the evolution of us as people and our discovery of ourselves and our futures.
My mental health severely affected my life and not only withheld me from my studies but kept me from regular self care¿¿I struggled eating, I couldn¿¿t¿¿ sleep, and I felt enveloped in negative thoughts. My struggles led to my missing class and in some instances even missing exams because I was simply not capable of attending them. I was unable to assist myself in real time with my problems and often felt overwhelmed by my depression and the fact that I was at school made me feel like I was trapped in a cycle of not being well enough to participate in my studies, meanwhile I¿¿d become behind on my studies and they hung over me like storm clouds. I felt immense pressure to rush getting better so I could save myself from the workload and the relief I hoped would come if I could just be well enough to get back to catching up. I expected myself to feel better eventually, that I would be back to normal. I would have a good day every now and then, like the way one sometimes just has a bad day¿except the days that were rare were good ones. This was a losing formula and I felt totally defeated by my situation both academically and psychologically, I felt stuck occasionally being good enough to feel better for spurts but not being able to sustain that level of wellness, it felt hopeless. My mental health didn¿¿t just impact my academic studies but I also struggled immensely in my personal life and I felt sapped of my passion for life.
Being depressed is strange because there are days where you¿¿re less miserable¿not happy, but less miserable. It doesn¿¿t feel like constant sadness, it¿¿s more of the absence of happiness. The fog of depression is hard to navigate. You don¿¿t get days to be enjoyed where everything goes back to normal; your good days are fragile and quickly spoiled. It would be inaccurate to say on my better days I was really feeling better; rather, I stopped feeling so bad that I could finally think of something other than how miserable I felt. When that happened I would try to accomplish school work, maybe attend a class or two or sporadically reach out to see what I had missed in my disappearing act of a few days or possibly weeks. While I was unable to do the work every day, when I was able to apply the percent of my brain that was capable of ignoring self loathing I could pass a course, study enough to get by on one class a week¿¿or maybe try to look through a lost week¿¿s readings in hope that I wouldn¿¿t be so out of touch that if I returned to class it could be somewhat familiar to me. I was drained of my vitality, and felt out of touch with what I wanted and myself. I was Sisyphus and depression felt like my boulder.
When things were improving and I was getting healthier it was still a challenge to engage with work and school, I had fallen behind and struggled just opening OnQ to see the mountain of work that had amassed, or the grades that had passed me by in my absence. I was figuring out what to do and how to help myself, but staring at a long-overdue list of classes and assignments without knowing where to begin. I felt overwhelmed, like I would never be able to fix my issues in my school life while simultaneously working on the issues that plagued my personal life. In my attempts to catch up I sometimes had days where I was capable of finishing a weeks readings, but often I found some readings much easier to attempt than others, and I found myself struggling to connect with the work I had once assumed I had wanted to study and pursue. I felt like a stranger in my own life, disconnected from my passions and pursuits by way of mental fatigue from my struggles with my mental health.
When I was healthy enough to attend to it, I went to my doctor to see what I could do to get better and I looked for a diagnosis of what was wrong and was told that I had generalized anxiety, and depression. I went on medication and sought counselling for cognitive behavioural therapy so I could better manage my condition in real time. While I struggled finding the right medication at first, I eventually found the right medication and dosage and have done much to change my habits and live a healthier lifestyle physically and mentally to go along with medication. I also had meetings with a psychiatrist where I am ensuring a comprehensive understanding of my condition and medication for myself moving forward. I read more, regularly have three meals a day, exercise, I make sure I stay connected to family and friends, and I have done important introspection into learning more about myself and what I want for my life moving forward. I found myself unhappy with what I was going into, unhappy with what I was doing and felt it was perhaps more who I thought I should be rather than who I really am. Now that I have my feet under me I am ready to move forward, but I am aware of the challenges anxiety and depression will bring and will continue to go to cognitive behavioural therapy so if I am in a position where if I am having an anxiety attack/feeling anxious or depressed I now know that its possible it could happen, even when I am doing well. I know how to navigate myself through my anxiety and depression; and while it took some time and growth to come to a better understanding of myself, I am better and more confident in who I am because of it.
I hope that moving forward if this appeal is successful I will be able to change programs from philosophy to drama so I could have a fresh start doing something I am not only good at, but thoroughly enjoy. When I sought treatment I made sure to get notes from my doctor and psychologist to document my condition and confirm that I was unable to attend classes. If more specific or different documentation than what I have from my doctor/specialist is required I would be happy to contact them to get the proper paperwork if needed. I will be continuing with sessions of cognitive behavioural therapy to work on strategies to work with my anxiety in a productive and mindful manner. I look forward to getting back to my schooling and moving forward into a better place with a better state of mind.
I am seeking an appeal of my grades over the last 3 years at Queens¿¿; I am appealing these grades because during this time I struggled seriously with my mental health, struggles that kept me from my studies and impacted my life outside of school in a very serious way. I feel my poor grades are a reflection of the state of my mental health over this period and not of my academic ability.
I am appealing the following courses from 2017 winter: PHIL 257, POLS 250, RELS 202. I am appealing the following courses from 2017 fall: CLST 200, PHIL 233, PHIL 275, PHIL 257. I am appealing the following courses from the 2018 winter: PHIL 257 PHIL 275, PHIL 329. I am appealing the following courses from the 2018 fall: PHIL 318, PHIL 361. I am appealing the following courses from the 2019 winter: Phil 351, Phil 352. I am appealing these courses on the basis that I was not capable of fulfilling my responsibilities to both school and my self due to my struggles with mental health
I was frequently unable to go to class or actively participate in my studies, despite wanting to correct this behaviour I was not in a place where that was possible, and I had difficulties even getting out of bed or communicating with friends or family. I couldn¿¿t sleep but I was always exhausted, I was depressed and I didn¿¿t know how to get better. My life was not in a place where school could be a priority, I had to put myself first and my struggles with mental health during the last three years has led to a change in my medication, in my personal habits, and to a better understanding of myself and who I want to be. I have seen specialists to help me with what I have struggled with and ensure the correct diagnosis and treatment moving forward. I have been in as consistent communication as I could with Queens¿¿ via my accommodations advisor and meeting with academic advisors to ensure that despite my struggles I wouldn¿¿t be lost to the process of reclaiming my education and myself. In this time I not only worked on improving myself but I also was able to introspectively ask myself what would make me happy and what I really wanted to do in my life and moving forward in school. I have dealt with much of what ailed me in the past and will still be working on cognitive behavioural therapy to deal with my anxiety and depression in real time. I am feeling very healthy and have a much clearer vision of my future ahead of me I feel I am finally capable of returning to studies.
I understand I was able to pass a few classes during these years I am appealing, but the explanation of my passing grades without being arrogant, is that had I been healthy I would have passed the classes I failed and done much better on the classes I passed. It¿¿s hard to pass a class you¿¿re too anxious to attend, or write a paper on the ontological argument when you feel the only miracle in your life is that you¿¿re hanging on. In fact, some of these passing grades where unknown to me before speaking with an appeals advisor and academic advisor previous to this appeal. It was hard for me to even attend exams and there are some classes where I was so depressed I missed exams because I wasn¿¿t capable of pulling myself off of my bedroom floor. I believe I am intelligent and capable of high academic achievement, and my grades before my mental health struggles would suggest the same. I would have been able to experience the natural growth all students experience from first year into second year and so on, but due to my mental health I missed much of what so much of what university is about¿¿the evolution of us as people and our discovery of ourselves and our futures.
My mental health severely affected my life and not only withheld me from my studies but kept me from regular self care¿¿I struggled eating, I couldn¿¿t¿¿ sleep, and I felt enveloped in negative thoughts. My struggles led to my missing class and in some instances even missing exams because I was simply not capable of attending them. I was unable to assist myself in real time with my problems and often felt overwhelmed by my depression and the fact that I was at school made me feel like I was trapped in a cycle of not being well enough to participate in my studies, meanwhile I¿¿d become behind on my studies and they hung over me like storm clouds. I felt immense pressure to rush getting better so I could save myself from the workload and the relief I hoped would come if I could just be well enough to get back to catching up. I expected myself to feel better eventually, that I would be back to normal. I would have a good day every now and then, like the way one sometimes just has a bad day¿except the days that were rare were good ones. This was a losing formula and I felt totally defeated by my situation both academically and psychologically, I felt stuck occasionally being good enough to feel better for spurts but not being able to sustain that level of wellness, it felt hopeless. My mental health didn¿¿t just impact my academic studies but I also struggled immensely in my personal life and I felt sapped of my passion for life.
Being depressed is strange because there are days where you¿¿re less miserable¿not happy, but less miserable. It doesn¿¿t feel like constant sadness, it¿¿s more of the absence of happiness. The fog of depression is hard to navigate. You don¿¿t get days to be enjoyed where everything goes back to normal; your good days are fragile and quickly spoiled. It would be inaccurate to say on my better days I was really feeling better; rather, I stopped feeling so bad that I could finally think of something other than how miserable I felt. When that happened I would try to accomplish school work, maybe attend a class or two or sporadically reach out to see what I had missed in my disappearing act of a few days or possibly weeks. While I was unable to do the work every day, when I was able to apply the percent of my brain that was capable of ignoring self loathing I could pass a course, study enough to get by on one class a week¿¿or maybe try to look through a lost week¿¿s readings in hope that I wouldn¿¿t be so out of touch that if I returned to class it could be somewhat familiar to me. I was drained of my vitality, and felt out of touch with what I wanted and myself. I was Sisyphus and depression felt like my boulder.
When things were improving and I was getting healthier it was still a challenge to engage with work and school, I had fallen behind and struggled just opening OnQ to see the mountain of work that had amassed, or the grades that had passed me by in my absence. I was figuring out what to do and how to help myself, but staring at a long-overdue list of classes and assignments without knowing where to begin. I felt overwhelmed, like I would never be able to fix my issues in my school life while simultaneously working on the issues that plagued my personal life. In my attempts to catch up I sometimes had days where I was capable of finishing a weeks readings, but often I found some readings much easier to attempt than others, and I found myself struggling to connect with the work I had once assumed I had wanted to study and pursue. I felt like a stranger in my own life, disconnected from my passions and pursuits by way of mental fatigue from my struggles with my mental health.
When I was healthy enough to attend to it, I went to my doctor to see what I could do to get better and I looked for a diagnosis of what was wrong and was told that I had generalized anxiety, and depression. I went on medication and sought counselling for cognitive behavioural therapy so I could better manage my condition in real time. While I struggled finding the right medication at first, I eventually found the right medication and dosage and have done much to change my habits and live a healthier lifestyle physically and mentally to go along with medication. I also had meetings with a psychiatrist where I am ensuring a comprehensive understanding of my condition and medication for myself moving forward. I read more, regularly have three meals a day, exercise, I make sure I stay connected to family and friends, and I have done important introspection into learning more about myself and what I want for my life moving forward. I found myself unhappy with what I was going into, unhappy with what I was doing and felt it was perhaps more who I thought I should be rather than who I really am. Now that I have my feet under me I am ready to move forward, but I am aware of the challenges anxiety and depression will bring and will continue to go to cognitive behavioural therapy so if I am in a position where if I am having an anxiety attack/feeling anxious or depressed I now know that its possible it could happen, even when I am doing well. I know how to navigate myself through my anxiety and depression; and while it took some time and growth to come to a better understanding of myself, I am better and more confident in who I am because of it.
I hope that moving forward if this appeal is successful I will be able to change programs from philosophy to drama so I could have a fresh start doing something I am not only good at, but thoroughly enjoy. When I sought treatment I made sure to get notes from my doctor and psychologist to document my condition and confirm that I was unable to attend classes. If more specific or different documentation than what I have from my doctor/specialist is required I would be happy to contact them to get the proper paperwork if needed. I will be continuing with sessions of cognitive behavioural therapy to work on strategies to work with my anxiety in a productive and mindful manner. I look forward to getting back to my schooling and moving forward into a better place with a better state of mind.