Petition Letter
Attending Queen??s University in September 2021 was supposed to be a fresh start for me. The dream of attending post-secondary away from home was my motivation to get me through the adversities I faced during my high school years.
From the day I was born, I lived with my mom, dad, brother, my dad??s parents, my dad??s sister and his sister??s son. I had a close relationship with my dad??s side of the family growing up due to living in the same household. My dad had an even closer relationship with his family as they all immigrated to Canada together and spent his entire life working to fund his household. Six years ago today, my dad??s family decided that they no longer wanted to live in our house and wanted to move. The impact of this event destroyed my family in all aspects of life. Firstly, financially as they asked my dad to buy their share of the house during the period of time Vancouver??s housing market was unstable. Secondly, mentally, my dad sacrificed his entire life to fund his family passing on life-changing opportunities and dreams
This resulted in my dad developing depression and becoming emotionally unavailable and my mom becoming angry that them sacrificing their lives did not hold any value. As the eldest child and at the age of twelve, it felt like it became my responsibility to ensure my household did not fall apart. I would mediate their arguments, comfort them when they expressed suicidal tendencies and take on the force of my parent's anger as they began projecting their inner feelings outward as they did not know how to healthily express their emotions. I had to grow up fast at a young age and developed anxiety. I became a complaisant person, I did exactly what everyone told me to do and displayed the emotions they wanted me to feel. I suffered all throughout high school as I had no one to go to or reach out to. Attending school and completing homework was my saving grace, it allowed me a chance to have a break and experience peace. I was able to develop a routine by taking part in academic and non-academic activities that allowed me to get through it all. It gave me the motivation to get through, working toward attending post-secondary.
The first semester of post-secondary went well until I received an email that I had a departure from academic integrity from CISC 101. Although I did not, my professor did not agree. That crushed my motivation and everything I was working for. Since a student on my residence floor had Covid-19 I was required to take deferred exams after the December break. Over the break, my anxiety heightened and I didn??t know what to do. I holed up in my room I didn??t know what to do. I did not perform well on my exams. I was so used to feeling how everyone else wanted me to feel that when it was my turn to feel emotions for myself I didn??t know what to do except pretend I didn??t feel them or they didn??t exist. My entire life I was used to helping others handle their emotions and was told how to feel that when it was my turn to go through personal adversity I didn??t know how to handle my emotions and cope in a healthy way. I was struggling a lot. I was really overwhelmed and overtaken by my thoughts. Second semester was the same scenario. My life just felt like an uncontrollable spiral and that was falling apart. I didn??t know what to do or who to reach to. I felt really alone. I was not in the right headspace to take exams.
From the day I was born, I lived with my mom, dad, brother, my dad??s parents, my dad??s sister and his sister??s son. I had a close relationship with my dad??s side of the family growing up due to living in the same household. My dad had an even closer relationship with his family as they all immigrated to Canada together and spent his entire life working to fund his household. Six years ago today, my dad??s family decided that they no longer wanted to live in our house and wanted to move. The impact of this event destroyed my family in all aspects of life. Firstly, financially as they asked my dad to buy their share of the house during the period of time Vancouver??s housing market was unstable. Secondly, mentally, my dad sacrificed his entire life to fund his family passing on life-changing opportunities and dreams
This resulted in my dad developing depression and becoming emotionally unavailable and my mom becoming angry that them sacrificing their lives did not hold any value. As the eldest child and at the age of twelve, it felt like it became my responsibility to ensure my household did not fall apart. I would mediate their arguments, comfort them when they expressed suicidal tendencies and take on the force of my parent's anger as they began projecting their inner feelings outward as they did not know how to healthily express their emotions. I had to grow up fast at a young age and developed anxiety. I became a complaisant person, I did exactly what everyone told me to do and displayed the emotions they wanted me to feel. I suffered all throughout high school as I had no one to go to or reach out to. Attending school and completing homework was my saving grace, it allowed me a chance to have a break and experience peace. I was able to develop a routine by taking part in academic and non-academic activities that allowed me to get through it all. It gave me the motivation to get through, working toward attending post-secondary.
The first semester of post-secondary went well until I received an email that I had a departure from academic integrity from CISC 101. Although I did not, my professor did not agree. That crushed my motivation and everything I was working for. Since a student on my residence floor had Covid-19 I was required to take deferred exams after the December break. Over the break, my anxiety heightened and I didn??t know what to do. I holed up in my room I didn??t know what to do. I did not perform well on my exams. I was so used to feeling how everyone else wanted me to feel that when it was my turn to feel emotions for myself I didn??t know what to do except pretend I didn??t feel them or they didn??t exist. My entire life I was used to helping others handle their emotions and was told how to feel that when it was my turn to go through personal adversity I didn??t know how to handle my emotions and cope in a healthy way. I was struggling a lot. I was really overwhelmed and overtaken by my thoughts. Second semester was the same scenario. My life just felt like an uncontrollable spiral and that was falling apart. I didn??t know what to do or who to reach to. I felt really alone. I was not in the right headspace to take exams.